Tuesday, January 13

I Hate New Jersey

It's true--I hate New Jersey. I have for years. Ironically, my hatred for the place became firmly cemented while I was living at The Happiest Place on Earth.

Way back when I was working at Walt Disney World as part of the College Program, I lived with a native New Jersey chick. She was the oldest of my six roommates, and, frankly, the scariest. There were six of us in all living in that really nice (but not $65/week each nice) apartment. The place had three bedrooms, no TV, a bare bones kitchen, and was part of a gated community with two pools. The furniture was your typical crappy rental furniture, but since we were all broke college students, it seemed a little like paradise.

From the outside, our apartment looked REALLY nice, but on the inside? TRASHED. New Jersey Beyotch seemed to think that the other five of us were her cleaning ladies. She would cook pound after pound of fried chicken and then leave the mess all over. There would be grease splatters on the ceiling, the floor, the counters, and she would leave them there right up until the next time she cooked. She left dirty clothes strewn all over the place, and the saying about being neat and cleaning the seat? Yeah, she had never heard it.

Sooooo gross.

As time went on, my roommates and I became divided into two groups. Myself, Shannon, and Kiki were the "good" kids and more than overjoyed just to be working at Disney World. The other three seemed to be a little bitter about something or other, and New Jersey Beyotch was a LOT bitter about something or other. Us Good Kids would debate how she managed to get past the interview process in the first place (grueling, and it included a personality test), and truly became confused one day after I picked up the mail.

We only had one mail key amongst the six of us, so it sat on the kitchen counter. As the awesome roommate that always worked nights at Mickey's Character Shop, I usually woke up around 10:00 and headed out to get the mail. The very second I saw the postcard confirming New Jersey Beyotch's reservation at a hotel that featured hourly rates, I called one of my roommates. Words cannot describe how over-the-top and nasty the information we found on the place was, in fact, heart-shaped beds is probably the only blog-friendly detail I can share.

I'm pretty sure Mickey would not have approved.

While she was far from a considerate roommate, or even someone we could "get," her most over-the-top rude thing was directed straight at me. I had traveled to Florida to work at Disney World knowing that at some point I would have to make a trek to North Dakota to say a final goodbye to my mom. Her breast cancer had returned, more aggressive than ever, and had evolved into bone cancer. The bones in her neck had been eaten away so badly that she wore a brace in order to stay alive, and it was really just a matter of time before her body completely gave up.

This knowledge in hand, I had carefully taped a note on the kitchen cabinet by the phone. It simply asked that if anybody from North Dakota called for me, that they please be given my work phone number. This was long before I gave in to the wonder that is cell phones, so I just needed the North Dakota caller to be able to reach me if I happened to not be at the apartment.

New Jersey Beyotch, upon seeing the note, ripped it off the wall, threw it at me, and told me she wasn't doing anybody any favors. There were some other words in there, but that's the crux of it. While I can certainly be pretty feisty and am more than able to defend myself, it was a VERY one-sided attack.

One of the Good Kid roommates, upon witnessing the display, immediately stormed to the main offices of the apartment complex and demanded that the roommate be removed from our apartment. Of course, the Disney Way is to try to work through problems, so the next day we all gathered together with a counselor to try to work things out.

It took 1.2 seconds of New Jersey Beyotch talking before the counselor made his decision. We were split up. The Good Kids (including me) went to one apartment, and the other three went into another.

While I was home attending my mom's funeral, New Jersey Beyotch was fired for speaking inappropriately to a Guest. One of the girls that had sided with her when the apartment split into cliques was fired for shoplifting while at work. The third decided she didn't want to switch apartments again (nobody got an apartment to themselves) and went home without completing the program. Karma, I guess.

Anyway, New Jersey Beyotch has forever tainted New Jersey for me. Forever.

47 comments:

  1. Hm, oddly, I also once had a Jersey Girl roommate.
    Life with her was, shall we say...interesting. Our other roommates were "interesting" as well. I eventually left and decided to just live alone. It was much better that way. Maybe one day I'll post, but if I recall correctly, she was a litigious type.

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  2. OH NO YOU DI-INT!

    ;)

    I hope I change your mind just a wee bit.

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  3. Aren't roommates fun!? But, no matter how disgusting she was, it is still shocking she would say that in regards to your situation with your mom! SAD!!!

    I never had a roommate like yours, but I did have a very spoiled rich bltch as roommate for a while. It was unbelievable how spoiled she was. But at least she was clean.

    I hated her (and another) roommate so much that I moved out when they were out of town one weekend. They didn't even know I was going. (In my defense, our rent was incredibly cheap and we had originally agreed that one of us can move out without finding a replacement.)

    After that I got my first apartment by myself (in the heart of Shadyside) and I started loving life! Nothing like some bad roommates to make appreciate solitary living!!

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  4. Whoa... The three evil roommates, the kindly Disney counselor trying to work things out, the way unhappy endings happened to all the bad guys... sounds almost like a fairytale...or a DISNEY movie!

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  5. Just driving through Jersey tainted it for me...

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  6. I had a boss once, not from NJ, but who tried to get me fired when he found out I needed time off to go be with my dying mother. I think that is the measure of an ultimately bad person. If you can steel feel compassion for someone about to lose their mother (or anyone close) even though you HATE them, you still have goodness in your soul. If not, well then there is clearly not one iota of goodness in you. The irony was this guy ran a charitable organization.

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  7. Ha! Freudian slip. That obviously should say "still feel compassion." Steelers on the brain.

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  8. Jersey girls--so different than us Texan girls. I'll leave it at that ;)

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  9. I can't decide if I should be offended or not. Probably not, I just don't have the energy and you're probably right. I'm just too Jersey to admit it!

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  10. Wow. That's really brutal. I've never understood nasty, mean people.

    The picture of Alexis, though? Too much!

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  11. @Flea--Ha! That's her "I do not approve of holding grudges" face. ;-)

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  12. OMG. Now I'm no big fan of the state. But after living with that "lady" I'd loathe it as well! What an arse!

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  13. Dude! How could you? I grew up in Jersey!! While I was not born there, I was there for the better part of my first 16 years of life.

    We're not all like her! ;)

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  14. I had a Jersey roomy too in college. For some reason, my college in Georgia loved to recruit kids from Jersey. She was a pretty nice though. However, I would have issues with Jersey too if I had to deal with that beyotch. lol!

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  15. Jersey sucks. I can attest to this personally.

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  16. What a witch. Too bad you couldn't "melt" her.

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  17. I have never come across anyone from Jersey. How weird is that?
    You need to put that pic. of Alexis on a header:)

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  18. How in the world can anyone be so heartless???

    I am glad the happiest place in the world, got rid of the crappiest person in the world.

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  19. New Jersey will be my last, and greatest, Totally Incensed Tuesday. THE BEST OF THEM. Because New Jersey is THE WORST STATE EVER. I think it's even slightly worse than Ohio. Which is saying a lot.

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  20. I have a NJ MIL. Again, nuff said.

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  21. Oh, I'm probably a lot worse than you in this regard. The NY/NJ accent alone cause me to tense up and immediately become combative, no matter how wonderful the people are. This comes from working down in Florida for many, many years and dealing with the BS from snowbirds.

    But that roommate of yours -- wow, that's low. How hard is it to give at least a small amount of consideration to another human being?

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  22. OH MY ... not sure what to say about your crazy roommate. I am glad that you finally got to get rid of her and live in relative peace for the of the program. How fun it would be to work at Disney!

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  23. Why are people so stupid? And rude? That's pretty crazy about all of three of those girls being deadbeats.

    Funny, I posted about my 'good' college roomate just yesterday!

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  24. But how do you feel about Maine?

    Hallie

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  25. I have had my run ins with some Jersey people, but then there are others that I love. Your roommate sounded like she got what she deserved.

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  26. That skank could have came from anywhere, and she'd still be the same nasty person. Please don't judge the whole state b/c of that bad apple.

    NJ rocks! Where else can you go to a diner at 4am, go camping in the middle of no where, go skiing, shop at a major mall within 20 min of your house no matter where you live, go to the BEACH (most important) or go to the city (pick one- NYC or Philly) in just one day??

    I promise we are all not like that!!! :)

    (((hugs))) from a Jersey Girl

    *I am going to have to do a post about all the good things about Jersey before Tranny bashes us! ;)

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  27. You weren't kidding when you named your group the Good Kids, as opposed to the bad kids who really were awful! Bad roommates really make life way more difficult than it needs to be.

    I've had a bunch of friends (and my SIL) from NJ, and they are awesome! But I also had a NJ girl as a roommate, and she was just a person who had to be in conflict with at least one person constantly. It made for an unpleasant environment, but not nearly as bad as you went through.

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  28. You aren't the only one. BTW, that picture of her is PRICELESS! AHHHH!!!

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  29. Have you looked up that bitch on Facebook to see what became of her? I wonder if her profile pic has her wearing an orange jumpsuit...

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  30. I have relatives in Jersey, glad I never see them. They sound a lot like your room mate.

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  31. Since the last time I opened my mouth about NJ, I got called on it. I'll just say what one of Rachel's neighbors keeps saying, "All they got is Campbell's soup" which makes me never want to eat soup again.

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  32. Great story! Thanks for sharing

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  33. Anonymous2:06 PM

    I'm just curious...what happened to make you think of this terrible girl today?

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  34. @Anonymous--Nothing, really. It's been sitting in draft form for a while.

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  35. Well!
    You did say they were from Jersey...
    Nuff said.

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  36. I have so many BAD roommate stories! And, after a "vacation" to the Jersey shore, I can safely say that I'm not fond of it either. Like vacationing in a trash can.

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  37. Is it my imagination, or were you talking about some New Jersey blogger you liked on this post? I was going to check out his writing, and now it's gone. What's up with that?

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  38. @Jen--You're not crazy. It was Looky, Daddy! . I took it down because the award thing ended and a couple of people emailed confused as to how to vote.

    Definitely check him out. HYSTERICAL.

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  39. I love when people seal their own fate like that. Go, NJ Girl! I hope you like the jail you ended up in.

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  40. And another thing about NJ, how about when you ask them were in Jersey they live and they tell you Exit 10 or Exit 15.
    WTF?
    Cant' they tell you the name of the town for cryin' out loud!

    Although I do love the Jersey Shore.

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  41. The only person I ever really met from Jersey was a friend of mine in the Air Force. We shared the same last name, Miller, not too far-fetched and the exact same birthday, along with two other friends, a bit more far-fetched, but true. And aside from his penchant for strippers - yes, he would take them home, he was alright and shared in the beer purchasing with the rest of us. So, with that background, methinks it's mostly the women of NJ that are, uh, not nice.

    Maybe.

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  42. One of my best friends is from New Jersey (the part closer to Philadelphia) and southern NJ looks a lot like southern Michigan, where I live. Susan's really cool, so I have the opposite opinion of NJ as you, for the same reason (someone I know!). :)

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  43. Anonymous8:54 PM

    It's unfair that people like you assume that NJ is a bad place. It's not. It's quite sad, actually. I'm from NJ, and I know very few people, if any, who are horrible enough to give NJ a bad name. People from NJ are awesome. they know how to have a good time! Heck, the first person to ever win $1 million on Wheel of Fortune is from Edison, NJ... we know how to rock! lol. But, please, give us a chance. We're not bad people. Maybe visit that state? This is to all haters. Don't diss a place you've never been to. Highways are bad because we just happen to be located between NYC and Philadelphia. It's not OUR fault. Plus, our history? Anyone who has even learned american history knows that a lot of our country's history lays in NJ. PLEASE!! JUST LISTEN! NJ is not a bad place!!! It's far better then a lot of places I've been to. It's interesting, fun, and full of enrichment (and P.S., we DO NOT smell!!!) Thank you :)

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  44. Anonymous10:40 AM

    Bad roommates come in all shapes, sizes and attitudes. Just because you are from NJ doesn't make you a bad person. I'm originally from South Philly and later moved to NJ, then to Maui and now I'm back in NJ. My family is here and it's great being with them again no matter what state I'm in. But Jersey has a lot to offer and there are some really great people living in this state. Sorry you didn't meet any of us!

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  45. Anonymous12:10 PM

    new jersey breeds really stupid people That think arrogence= confidence and all that. A Big What The * Ever to new jersey and all of its inhabitants. May the state burn a firey nasty death.

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  46. Anonymous10:27 PM

    If you hate Jersey that much, do us a favor and STAY THE HELL OUT! We won't miss ya, trust me! Our driving conditions will improve without you to deal with. So will the Shore.

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