Thursday, January 29

An Open Letter to Sweet Little Ol' Ladies

Dear Nosy Old Ladies of Pittsburgh,

Hi. You don't know me, but you have met me. In fact, you have spoken to me. Well, more like you have spoken AT me. You started by making a statement of the obvious and telling me that my kid is cute. That is a very true fact, and flattery gets you everywhere. The problem is that you followed that up by dropping a little dig.

"She looks so cold!"

or

"She really should have her coat zipped."

or

"Did she lose her hat and gloves?"

and my personal favorite

"Poor little thing is going to catch pneumonia dressed like that in this cold weather!"

SHUT UP.

Did I say that loud enough? I can wait for you to turn up your hearing aid. Ready? OK. S-H-U-T U-P. SHUT UP.

*ahem*

Look, my kid? Is a hot-blooded little freak. She was surely the only person at Heinz Field a few weeks ago who was sweating when it was 20 degrees out. She's always hot. ALWAYS.

Today she wore a skirt, tights, and a sweater to daycare. When I picked her up? Her hair was SOAKED because I had dressed her too warm. FOR THE CRAPPY ASS WEATHER.

Personally, I was wearing a turtleneck and sweatshirt and was still freezing. I learned a while ago that she's not me and I'm not her. If I'm comfortable, she's hot. If I'm hot, she's about to melt. So if she says she doesn't want to wear a hat, her hood, gloves, or even have her coat zipped, I roll with it. She is perfectly capable of telling me she's cold. If she says it, I put more clothes on her, or at least I would if she were ever actually cold.

She's not.

So, do me a favor and mind your own business. I am a master nagger (Mr. Husband loves to tell me to get off my Nagasawki). I'm doing a very sufficient job of fussing at the kid that she has to wear a coat and whatever else my Mother Brain says she should be wearing. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, because we have it under control.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

The Lady Who is about to Start Punching Old Women if They Don't Quit with the Unwanted Advice

38 comments:

  1. That photo is worth framing!! See you tomorrow!

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  2. My son was/is one of those "hot" kids. He's been wearing shorts all winter. And shouldn't that old lady know the only thing you catch with your coat unzipped is stupid comments from old ladies?

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  3. My hubs used to get those kind of comments all the time when our oldest was little. He finally told one "she's a baby, not a tropical flower!' I think maybe 'shut up' was thrown in for fun.

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  4. Hon? Your kid has stockinged legs sticking out in the cold weather. She's gonna catch her death out there.

    *ducks from flying objects*

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  5. Don't you just LOVE backhanded compliments?

    Sorry that they suck honey...

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  6. I hate unsolicited advice from strangers almost as much as I hate it from family!

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  7. I have a sock post that sounds pretty much the same...what is it about old ladies and advice.

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  8. I wonder what would happen if you started returning the "favor" with a little advice of your own. Maybe tell them how much you admire their stockings, but how the roll actually makes their ankles look fat. Or, how they may want to try a different shade of blue the next time they visit the hairstylist.

    I wonder how that'd turn out . . .

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  9. That happens to me ALL the time. I thought these nosy old ladies just lived in Chicago...You mean they are everywhere?!? Bummer:P

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  10. ROFLOL! THANK YOU! You know what's WORSE? When your mom brings gloves for your kids after you've TOLD her they are FINE without them. Heaven forbid a mom knows her child. (I don't know from experience... I'm just sayin) LOL

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  11. My MIL is the queen of backhanded compliments. "Oh, you rhair looks better today than ever, what did you do? Comb it?" Yea gotta love her.

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  12. I didn't know my MIL was visiting Pittsburgh. Hmmmm.... ; )

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  13. Oh now that I'd pay money to see. You punching out little old ladies. Suddenly I see Bob Barker and Adam Sandler in the thick of it. Heh.

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  14. I left the burgh before running into this. But in Guatemala, the women made me crazy. It is ALWAYS between 65 and 85 degrees there. Sabrina is always hot and sweaty. Her foster mom would have her in 4 layers and the poor child would be a puddle when I picked her up. Once I moved there, I used to cringe when we went for walks (daily). They would yell at me that she wasn't wearing a hat and tell me she was going to die. (My Spanish wasn't great but meurto is pretty easy to understand.) And they would get all atwitter because she was wearing socks with no shoes (she didn't walk yet and every time I put shoes on her she would kick one off in the streets and I would return home, take her out of her carrier and find she only had on 1 shoe yet again).

    Okay - I guess the point of that rant is simply that I feel ya. LOL

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  15. How about living with one of those nosy biddies?

    I have yet to have a day go by where I'm not lectured on how terribly cold it is and how E should be wearing slippers, a sweater, a hat, gloves, a scarf . . . yeah, try keeping a scarf on a one year old. And let's not start on how I'm going to catch my death of cold.

    Dude, I would so trade you fifty nosy, old ladies for this one :-)

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  16. seriously... I hate that!!! It doesn't stop, even as they age.

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  17. Come on......the name of your blog is Burg Baby.......every Pittsburgher know that they are not "Nosy Old Ladies" they are "Nebby old ladies" or "Neb Noses!"
    I pray to God I never turn into a Neb-Nose!

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  18. Well, your nosy old ladies must be traveling between Pittsburgh and Minneapolis because I get that ALL.THE.TIME. And I am very close to being an old lady myself, at 52! I've found the best way to shut them up is to give them the stare of death and calmly say "I have hot flashes and I'm NEVER cold." That usually makes them scurry away in a hurry! It would be especially effective for you, I think--since you'd be talking about a 3-year-old! BWAHAHA!

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  19. That drives me crazy. I'm not one to hold back, though (I know, what a surprise) and I have been known to let the advice-givers exactly what's on my mind.

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  20. Aidan is 4 and I still get little old ladies coming up to him and touching his curly blond hair. He hates it and I hate having strange people touching my son.

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  21. At our house it's socks. My family (meaning mother, aunt, grandmother) cannot stand to come to our house and find the kids without socks. None of them will leave socks on for more than fifteen seconds, but there's always a collective *gasp* as soon as they see the kids' feet. Screw it. I let 'em go barefoot...and sometimes without pants, just to really tick 'em off!

    And I agree. In the 'burgh the word is "nebby". Just like the roads are "slippy". I know, you're still learning Pittsburghese;)

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  22. Anonymous9:25 AM

    My own mother is the QUEEN when it comes to telling me I'm doing it wrong. I swear. She had asked me a kagillion times if my blind cords were tied up (she seen them a kajillion and one times tied) that one day my hubby thought I was nuts cause I just went through the house and ripped them all down.."Does she have a hat?" Um yeah..hello, you've bought at least 20..along with scrafs which just kills me. You were worried about blind cords but you are giving her a portable choking hazard...crazy lady! I could go on for days...

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  23. I was one of those hot-blooded children that had a mom who was perpetually cold. Mom tells me all the time how she would dress me up in layers upon layers, and as soon as we hit the car, I was pulling stuff off.

    So, kudos for reaching the "compromise" with your child and standing up against the nebshits!

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  24. I was lucky enough to be blessed with 2 of those hot blooded kids. I should just stop putting pj's on them as a matter of fact. I am sure that would get some comments LOL

    Thank goodness I don't get to many comments and when I do I say.."oh she's fine"

    When will they ever listen to us?Never!

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  25. Bwahaha. I would like to copy and paste that letter and sign my own name at the bottom of it. Drives me nuts when people tell me how to dress my own son. Ugh.

    That picture is absolutely marvelous.

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  26. Little Logan is the same way. It doesn't matter what the temp is, he comes home and sheds the clothes.

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  27. Don't you know everyone can raise your kids better than you can ;-)

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  28. I nearly punched a teacher at Little Man's (and now Tiny Man's school) because when he was three weeks old and we were walking LM into school, she audibly gasped and said "THE BABY'S NOT WEARING A HAT!!!!"

    It was freaking 60 degrees that morning.

    Freaking kid is half Canadian (shut up!!!) He doesn't need a hat when it's 60 degrees outside, whether he's three weeks old or three years old.

    Of course, I also almost punched her again three weeks ago because she always touches his hands and face when she's working the freaking carpool lane and touching 100 freaking germ coated kids. If anyone's going to make my baby sick, it's you, you germy moron.

    Stepping off my soap box now so that I can split early and go pick up said kids.

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  29. Ahhh, welcome to the Land of Passive-Aggressive.

    It's not a bad thing to learn how to do it--when you need to tell people to SHUT UP! without offending them.

    Simple answer from me? I'd smile and say, "Well, if her head wasn't so dammed big, maybe we'd be able to find a hat to fit it." (substitute ears for head as you see fit)

    I'm sure if you can direct that beat down energy into Snappy Answers to Stupid Comments....well, nothing much would change, really, but you wouldn't have to worry about bail money.

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  30. Those little old ladies, used to dress up their kids in full body armor snow suits before they even got out the door...Times have changed

    Love the picture hon! (Hugs)Indigo

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  31. I also have one of these kinds of children. My little girl is now 11 and STILL doesn't zip her jacket.

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  32. Like to give a cute name for your baby? Visit cute baby names.

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  33. Yeah! You said it!
    I say, next time, play with em--and ask them what do they mean when it's almost 80 degrees and sunny.
    hehehehehehehe--I can't stand people who give their two cents when I actually didn't even ask for a dime. I think you are handling this well too--you are one.strong.lady.
    You deserve a new laptop.

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  34. I really need to read your posts in the order they were posted. I will change my reader to accommodate that.

    Reading this post after seeing the photo from your Audrey post? I can't help but say you should have a hat on that child and have her coat zipped with a scarf up to her eyeballs. The poor kid's freezing so much that she's crying!

    Thanks. I feel better now. :-)

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  35. We are all so different like that. Not sure if you've been following the latest weather in MN...but it's been cold...like record cold, like 20-30 below zero cold, degrees not just windchill. My hubs didn't wear a coat to work on one of these days...because he walks in the skyway when he gets downtown...what if there were a car accident? Today it was 30 and he was acting like it was Spring telling me I didn't need a coat when I left the house...crazy. He never gets cold...I keep the house at 71 and still wear a sweatshirt and socks and snuggle up in a blanket too!!

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  36. Oh, I'm with you. Just let me know when and where the punching will begin and I'll join you. I have 9 years worth of unwanted advice to punch out :-)

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  37. I hate people that do that crap!!!!!

    And, last time I checked, pneumonia was a virus and not so much caused by being cold!

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