Wednesday, February 25

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Kids say things. Loud things. At inopportune times. This I know.

So, the time when Alexis and I were in the grocery store and a VERY large guy wearing a leather Harley jacket, chains, and I-can-kick-your-ass boots went swaggering by, I wasn't surprised to hear her proclaim, "Look, momma, he has a ponytail! Boys don't have ponytails!" (I was surprised to learn he had a good sense of humor. He proved it by retorting, "Some boys DO have ponytails.")

I'm never embarrassed by Alexis' need to comment on my business in public restrooms. It's become expected for her to ask, "Are you pooping?" or "What was THAT noise?" I've never hidden after she commented on some stranger's actions either. "Wow! Somebody is pooping really big!"

She's a kid. Kids say things.

Thus, tonight when we were gathered around a table at Pizza Hut and Alexis glanced over a the register and yelled, "LOOK!" I full expected to hear some kid-like commentary. At the register stood two teenage boys who seem to be under the impression that it's sex-ay to buy pants twice the size that you actually need, and then to cinch them in place using a belt around their knees. I expected Alexis to comment on the fact that their underwear were hanging out, or that they needed to pull up their pants, or for her to say they looked silly.

We were seated not more than ten feet away, so I knew they would hear her. I mentally prepared myself for them to turn around to see who dared mock their fashion choices. Finally, Alexis figured out what she wanted to say.

"LOOK! There's candy in the kitchen!"

Of all the times to NOT comment on douchebaggery, she chose that moment. I was so disappointed.

27 comments:

  1. But THERE WAS CANDY!!!!

    What else matters??

    Hallie

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  2. That picture is a classic! And I'm with Alexis, when there's candy around how could someone NOT notice.

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  3. Bwahahaha!!! Kids just can't be counted on for anything, can they?

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  4. Way to spoil your mom's fun, kid.

    That picture is awesome, BTW.

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  5. Oh dang. Yer kid let you down. So what kind of candy was it, and why was it in the kitchen?

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  6. At least she's got her priorities in line

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  7. But who can blame the girl for being distracted by Candy?? Not me!

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  8. seriously, who cares what those doofuses (doofusi?) were wearing.

    we're talkin' CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. According to my mother, I once asked a man if he had a baby in his stomach in the grocery store. (I was like 3 or something.) He kept answering my questions with questions, like "No, I don't have a baby in my stomach, but it sure looks like it, doesn't it?" Which of course I answered "It sure does!" This kept up and eventually we decided he needed to lose some weight.

    My mother was mortified, but not so much that she still tells this story every chance she gets.

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  10. Hehehe, it appears your little girl is growing up! And with her priorities right where they should be, too. Given a choice between candy and douchebaggery, I hope she chooses candy every time! :)

    I LOVE the stuff that comes out of little kids' mouths, even when it's to me. They're just stating the facts without judgment or malice. That's really a pretty good policy, even when someone is pooping REALLY BIG. BWAHAHAHA!

    And now we have "LOOK!" instead of "WOOK!"??? I think I'm going to shed a little tear...

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  11. I am with Alexis on this one. Who cares about the dumb kids when there is candy around. Good girl!

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  12. Haha--she knows what is important in life.

    Love that photo. She looks like a little angel :)

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  13. Anonymous8:36 AM

    I love the things kids say. One of my favorites was the time I was at the store with my sister and niece who was probably about 5 at the time. At the checkout isle, loud as can be she looked up at her mom and declared "Mommy, I wish you would stop doing drugs!" My sister was flabbergasted and after a few questions we finally figured out that the kids had learned at school that cigarettes had drugs in them thus, since her mom was a smoker, she was doing drugs. I will never forget all of the heads turning to give my sister the stink eye for being a drug-doing mom. :)

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  14. Well, somebody should tell the kids about their low hanging pants. That's the worst fashion choice ever. But first, about that candy... :)

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  15. The one time you want your kid to hand out a little embarrassment they don't! I completely get it. Those boys could have used some. ;)

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  16. Candy is so much better than underwear, Come on mom, there was candy.

    I love that picture, I would so post pictures of Little Miss if she would be sweet like that instead of the BITE ME looks I get.

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  17. Anonymous11:20 AM

    I just went through this over last weekend..My husband, myself and Hannah ($ years old) went to Kmart..we were looking at TV stands and an elderly woman who worked there came over to ask us if we needed any help...Hannah reacted in a "not like her " her..she hid under my jacket. Hannah is NOT shy at all so I thought this was odd. Well the elderly woman was balding and had sporatic hairs atop her head..not many. I just at the time thought nothing of it..she was VERY helpful and thats all I was concerned about. As the woman walked away ..Hannah in her not so quiet tone said "Mommy she's SOOOOO scary looking" I thought I was going to die in the middle of Kmart..I thought she said it loud..the lady never turned around or anything and my husband didn't hear her...but men never hear anything...we had a very long talk about this sort of thing with her but I am just praying that the nice woman didn't hear her.

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  18. Anonymous11:22 AM

    ^Sorry she's 4 years old

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  19. It would be nice to get some social commentary out of the wee ones since we are not allowed to say those things. Then again candy is hard to ignore.

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  20. A lost opportune moment. That would have been classic. Great pic, I love it.

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  21. I, for one, admire her honesty. Can you imagine if we ALL stayed like that?

    Okay nah, me neither. I think that cute photo of her distorted all rationale. :)

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  22. One more reason to love the girl! lol! She's awesome! That is one of my favorite pictures you've taken of her.

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  23. Darn it. That would have been so awesome!

    BTW - I've been away too long. She's looking so grown up now!

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  24. She's just keepin' momma on her toes . . .

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  25. Aw, Alexis! I ♥ the 'kids darndest' things and you let me down, gal!

    I'll forgive you, though, cuz you're so cute in that picture I could eat you on a cracker.

    (OK, that sounds creepy. I apologize.)

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  26. Why was there candy in the kitchen at Pizza Hut?????

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  27. That really is a downer. I hope desperately for my kid to call a "wtf" in those situations. It's such a great door opener, after all.

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