Tuesday, March 17

Just a Little Suggestion

While some may think that I'm shilling for Disney (yes, you-know-who-you-are, I have received your crappy emails--I can delete them just as fast as you can send them), I do have one complaint. (Well, OK, two complaints. First, where's my free four-day park hopper pass? Wasn't that part of the deal? Errr . . . never mind.) My only complaint is that Disney? NEEDS TO GET SOME DAMN COFFEE.

OK, not coffee per se. Rather, those foofy caffeinated drinks that contain 90% milk, 8% sugary goodness, and 2% coffee. Those things.

Sure, you can buy an iced cappuccino in Epcot, but it'll taste like goat butt. It won't cost you quite as much as Starbucks (shocking, I know), but it will taste so bad that even your sleep-deprived, caffeine-desperate body will be like "NOOOOO! Don't drink it!"

Every park we went to, I searched for some sort of iced coffee drink. It was 80+ degrees out, and I'm going on four solid years without a decent nights sleep. Finding icy caffeine was a survival instinct.

I nearly died.

The only thing that saved me from certain death was managing to stumble into the McDonald's at Downtown Disney where the very kind employees took pity on my dying body and poured an iced vanilla latte down my throat. If it weren't for them? Well, I don't want to think about what could have happened. That iced latte was so fantastic that I was forced to make out with it. Tongue and all.

Making out with McDonald's coffee is like dreaming about Brad Pitt, but settling for Brad Garrett. Not right.

So, Disney, how about you call up Starbucks and make a deal? Let them speed-construct a little store on every corner. They can charge way too much for their caffeine-y goodness and I'll happily pay too much. Survival is dependent on it.

37 comments:

  1. I'm surprised they don't actually have their own Disney brand of coffee . . . priced at least 18% higher than Starbuck's. That, I would expect.

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  2. @Jayna--Oh, there is a substance they try to call coffee here and there, but clearly Disney does not understand how to do coffee. At all. They really need to just call in the reinforcements. For my sake.

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  3. She has fits about people in costume but will sit and have her picture taken inside of a shark. HUM, I can't figure that cutie out.

    I swear am I the only human on this planet not addicted to Starbucks? Now I must have my coffee, I will admit that. But it should contain 98% coffee.;)

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  4. No Starbucks?? That's just uncivilized! I have to have my daily fix...D

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  5. Okay, I don't drink coffee, but your Brad Pitt/Brad Garrett line made me snort out my Pepsi Max!

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  6. I'm a little nervous that you seem to know what goat butt might taste like. Do they serve that often in the Burgh? ;)

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  7. I'm with The Sports Mama. That was my first thought.

    Second, who are these punks that keep emailing you? Seriously, people suck and people have WAY too much time. If you find these people, make them clean my house. Obviously, they have the free time.

    Third, SOOOO cute. K. That is all :).

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  8. I don't drink coffee, so I never really noticed that. Mr. b isn't a foamy latte kind of guy, so as long as he gets his giant cup of boring coffee every morning, he's happy there. I'm just glad that they have Coke Zero now.

    Is the goat butt drink as bad as Club Cool's Beverly?

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  9. My favorite coffee place at WDW is the little writer's shop at MGM (or Hollywood Studios. whatever.). It's on the way to the Muppets show (another favorite). The coffee is the best (although it is still COFFEE and not foo-foo stuff) but the muffins are out of this world. {SIGH}.

    And if they take you up on your Starbucks suggestion you should DEFINITELY get that free 4-day Hopper pass. Just sayin'.

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  10. I'm with Cecily R. This:
    Making out with McDonald's coffee is like dreaming about Brad Pitt, but settling for Brad Garrett. Not right.
    Made MY HOT COFFEE come out of my nose.

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  11. @The Mommy--The first time we went to MGM (still refusing to acknowledge the name change) the writer's shop WAS CLOSED. I was sooooo mad. The second time I scored an iced cappuccino, but the darn thing was not sweetened. One drink and I gagged. Alexis, however, enjoyed a cookie the size of her head.

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  12. I completely agree. All 5 days we spent there, my main complain was "why the hell isn't there a Starbucks in this freakin' place?". I mean, it's not like they are lacking space. They could add a Starbucks to a few of the many many many many gift shops. They woulnd't even have to get rid of the Disney stuff, they could sell it right there along with the coffee drinks. But the coffee drinks, people. We want access to Frappuccinos, ices mochas and Tazo Shaken Iced Teas when we travel through the 5 Kingdoms.

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  13. There is a Garadilli coffee shop righth there in Downtown Disney!!! And oh my gosh it is wonderful!!!

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  14. @Suzee--I'm going to have to hide out after typing this sentence, but I'm not a Ghiradelli fan. Too rich for me, unless we are talking about an ice cream sundae.

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  15. Should hook you up with my big bro. He's a Starbucks big wig!!! He can arrange to have you hooked up to an iced coffee IV!!

    Hallie

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  16. I was giggling at this post, until I got to the picture and now I am positively snorting at the screen.

    "Fish are friends, not food!" Looks like they forgot!

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  17. Yeah, I really don't care about coffee. I don't drink it (GASP!) Just please tell me this is a Coke establishment...please!

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  18. I'm absolutely shocked that there aren't overpriced caffeine delivery systems on every corner - the parks have to be full of tired parents who need a legal drug to get them through the day. Disney is so good at everything else (or so I hear) I would really think they would be on top of that little pile of money. Hell, put it in a commemorative mickey cup and they can charge an extra $6 for it.

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  19. are people seriously bitching that youre writing about disney? im pretty sure blog reading is voluntary.. disney is a big freakin trip - it's not like you guys went to kennywood. people are so lame.

    anyways, i did the same thing you did when i was in disney and went to that mcdonalds for iced coffee.. luckily i didnt have the goat butt alternative first, but it's always nice to find something you KNOW will be worth the $3 you're shelling out for it.

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  20. Someone thinks you're promoting Disney? To them I say, "So what!" Even if you were, which would probably be really hard to swing, what do they care? Are they just jealous? That damn place might be the happiest place on earth, but it costs a fortune! If someone, anyone gets a deal when they're there - good. for. them. I wouldn't hate!

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  21. That is so strange! I would of expected some sort of coffee house in the midst of Disney, if not Starbucks. Loved the Shark picture, perfect for this post. (Hugs)Indigo

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  22. I don't care anything about the over priced starbucks type coffe, but I have been addicted to regular coffee like crack for years. Having a baby has put even more importance on getting my coffee.

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  23. @Otter-I didn't drink a single drop of coffee until I went back to work after having Alexis. I still don't like it (ergo the need for foofy), but holy smokes is it necessary for survival.

    It was telling when Mr. Husband (a 5 cup per day drinker of straight black coffee) was all about making coffee in the hotel room with their crappy instant stuff, rather than getting some at the parks.

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  24. at the rate people jump on bandwagons, I really am surprised they don't have some sort of latte huts or something, along the way. WEIRD!

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  25. Seriously? That sounds CRAZY. With all the parents trying to chase after their over-stimulated kids you would think that they would have a ploethera of caffiene on hand for them. So weird.
    You have my sympathies. Really.

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  26. Did Alexis only see the inside of that shark, because THAT even scared me at first?!

    No good coffee and self flushing toilets. Whose running that place - Goofy?

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  27. Thats definitely weird. Wouldn't you assume that Disney would have, like, really AWESOME coffee? Possibly the best coffee on Earth? Just because they're Disney? Hmm. Weird.

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  28. No coffee!! I hereby boycott all things Disney.


    Great picture!


    It's an idle boycott. I was probably never going to go anyway.

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  29. No coffee/foofy drinks? For a day of running around a large park with a toddler? That's just crazy!

    I heard a great joke by comedian Kathleen Madigan about taking her niece and nephew to Disney and trying to get a beer. The woman at the counter said that they don't serve alcohol at Disney. Kathleen responded that her ticket said Happiest Place on Earth...

    Same goes for good coffee drinks! They would absolutely be in abundance in the true happiest place on Earth!

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  30. No coffee drinks at Disney? I'm SHOCKED. Completely and utterly shocked. But thanks for the warning: when we go, I'll bring my own supplies. I don't know how you survived without being very, very grumpy. You are a stronger woman than I.

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  31. I thought that was how they were all so Perky all the time. Must be some other "controlled" substance... ; )

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  32. You? ARE A GENIUS. Disney would make SO MUCH bank. Pimpin bank. Seriously.

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  33. I think you should contact them both. That needs to happen. I'm kinda shocked that it hasn't already.

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  34. And how. I nearly didn't survive our week there -- I could NOT believe the lack of coffee, full stop. Sure, there were a few counter service places that served what they *called* coffee but was actually watery and gross, but there was not a single place to get a decent cup of GOOD coffee, let alone a latte or foofy anything.

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  35. I wasn't planning to go to disney, but if there's no coffee, I won't even go for the sake of some child. No way!

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  36. I actually think Disney needs more booze. But that's just me.

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  37. I'm so jealous that you got to go to Disney! It's a little far from here...

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