Thursday, April 30

Maturity Sucks the Obama Out of Things

I do like our daycare. Sometimes people there make me insane, but overall it's a good, safe, positive environment for Alexis. It's just that once in a while, something completely stupid will happen there and I am forced to blow my top.

Take, for example, a few weeks ago when Alexis came home all sorts of upset with a particular teacher. Let's call her Mean Bird Lady because she just HAD to go and make fun of Alexis in the worst way possible. You see, Miss Alexis has this thing about birds. Like, she hates them. A lot. To the point that I'm pretty sure she already needs some major therapy. So, telling Alexis that her funky rainbow ponytail holder makes her look like there is a peacock on her head? Causes tears, tantrums, and weeks of sleeplessness. Seriously. The kid has had nightmares about a peacock being on her head.

Gee, thanks, Mean Bird Lady. Can I punch you in the face now? Please?

Even better, though, is that apparently Mean Bird Lady has decided to make it a habit to mock 3-year olds for their choice of attire. Or, I suppose, their parents' choice of attire (I am, after all, the one who bought the crazy rainbow ponytail holder). That would be the case with one of Alexis' classmates who showed up for school wearing an Obama t-shirt. Apparently Mean Bird Lady has a little bit of a problem with letting people openly have a different political opinion than her because she made the 3-year old turn her shirt inside out.

Uh-huh.

Now, the shirt got fixed not long after, so apparently someone had enough of a clue to figure out that making a kid bawl by forcing her to wear her shirt wrong might just be a teensy bit out of line. Or, you know. WAY FREAKIN OUT OF LINE.

*Ahem*

(Just so we're clear, I don't care if the shirt had Obama on it, Cheney, Bush, a Clinton, Palin, Reagan, or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it ain't cool to impose your political beliefs on somebody else's kid. Period.) (Also? I'm really not a fan of imposing one's political beliefs on your own kid. Putting an Obama t-shirt on your little kid is kind of squicky to me, too, but at least it's THEIR kid. So, whatever.)

Anyhoo, once I got the whole story of the Inside-Out-Obama-Shirt, my head went KABLOOOOOOIE! There were discussions. There was talking. Now it's done and over with and it's very clear to anyone who needs to know that you don't openly criticize my kid's (sometimes very odd) fashion choices. Or else.

The only thing is that I'm one to hold grudges. Like, bad. So, when I put two and two together and realized that Mean Bird Lady was the very same teacher who was having a little wedding party at daycare this week, I started plotting. In evil, mean, inappropriate ways. We had several notes from daycare requesting that we send a small kitchen-related gift to school for that teacher on the day of the party.

I wanted Obama gear.

BAD.

Towels, wine glasses, a cookbook, I didn't care. Anything with Obama's face on it. If I couldn't have that, then I wanted something with a peacock on it. Seriously. I searched online and, with the help of many awesome people, found many excellent options. The only problem was that I couldn't get them delivered in time for the party.

Stupid geography interfered with my evil plotting.

In the end, I ended up procrastinating too much and had to do an emergency run to Wal-Mart to scrounge up some sort of something. Didja' know that Wal-Mart is Anti-American? I can't think of any other reason that I couldn't find a single thing with Obama's face on it. No t-shirts, no buttons, no posters, no books, NOTHING. C'mon! There are eleventy bajillion things made with his face and Wal-Mart didn't have any of them? I smell a communist conspiracy.

Stupid Wal-Mart.

Then I learned that Wal-Mart is Anti-American AND Anti-NBC. There wasn't a single freakin' peacock thing in that entire store. I don't know what NBC did to Wal-Mart, but it must have been pretty bad for them to go all anti-peacock like that.

I had to settle for a lame cookbook. No Obama, no peacock. No fun.

But probably at least 301% more mature.

41 comments:

  1. I hope it was at least a really, really sucky cookbook.

    You could always figure out some way to wrap it in Obama paper. You know, print his picture over and over :-) Mix it up with a few peacocks!

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  2. Wow! Wanna trade Wal-Marts? Tons of Obama stuff here, probably has something to do with his Chicago connection, or our Wal-Mart knows how to make an easy buck. :)

    I'm with Jayna, and hope it was a sucky cookbook, like 101 ways to cook gumbo, or something like that.

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  3. I was going to say, I think our Wal-Mart has Obama stuff too... not sure though. That teacher is HORRIBLE! I am NO fan of Obama but I would never make a 3 year old turn her shirt inside out! Good grief! And as for the pony tail holder... I say we need to find out HER biggest fear and torture her with it. Yep. I bet Alexis will never wear her hair band again huh?

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  4. Most teachers are wonderful people, but it's the bad few that really stick in people's minds. *Some* teachers need to realize that they make life-long impressions on kids. I distinctly remember being accused of cheating in elementary school. (I hadn't, and I didn't give anyone BUT her that impression). That was SECOND GRADE. Gah.

    Tell Alexis her funky rainbow ponytail holder actually is a bird repellent. Mean Bird Lady shouldn't knock quirky wardrobe choices (or quirky kids for that matter, and seriously, what kid isn't quirky?).

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  5. @Jayna--Aren't you supposed to be having a baby? Huh? What's the hold up? ;-)

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  6. @Mommy to those Special Ks--Yeah, Alexis won't wear the ponytail holder anymore. I'm going to work on her on Saturday because as crazy as the thing is, it's really cute. And very "Alexis."

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  7. Oh, and it was a sucky cookbook. I found the cheapest one I could find. It was some generic crockpot kind of thing.

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  8. Wow, no Obama here, either! And I live in NJ..although I'm in a Republican county.

    That's ridiculous...everyone and I mean EVERYONE 3 year olds...6 months old...99 year old...is entitled to their opinion!!

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  9. I'm guessing she's afraid of snakes like any sane woman is. Oh, wait, any freak that makes a 3 year old turn her shirt inside out is not sane. Well, I'd still go with snakes and throw a few rubber ones in with the cookbook.

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  10. Dude, I totally woulda sent you my Obama waffle maker. Oh wait. I don't have one of those. But wouldn't it be cool? ; )

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  11. Poor kids! That sort of behavior in a preschool/daycare teacher is horrible. Being a preschool teacher for 7 years, I'm amazed at the volume of teachers that have absolutely no clue when it comes to children.
    Everyone makes mistakes, but that kind of thing is inexcusable if you ask me. Definitely not good buzz for the school. I'd have been hot too...if I were the director,she'd have been fired even if I had to take over the class myself. It was kind of gracious of you to get her the cookbook anyway. I hope she appreciated it.

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  12. pooh. i was SO hoping ...

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  13. WHAT?! I was so sure that I'd seen an Obama Pez dispenser at Wal-Mart. You know that this will inspire me to run to the store today and look high and low for the Prez's face.

    And I hope that you at least slipped a few photos of our illustrious president between the pages so that as she's randomly looking for recipes she'll be accosted right there in her own kitchen.

    Wait. Are we talking about being mature?

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  14. Please tell me she's not in a room with this woman most of the day!

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  15. Did Obama ever make it to your house to color with markers?

    You live too close to Ohio and West Virginia, girl, and your Walmart has to cater to its constituents. Come further northeast to Walmarts that pretend to have a more blue agenda. They're lying, but they try.

    Oh, and also, I share Alexis's ornithophobia. Big time. I blame Alfred Hitchcock. Supposedly it can be cured http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Fear-of-Birds but I don't believe it. Birds are mean and evil. And my son likes them. Grand.

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  16. @PSU Mom--I'm pretty sure Alexis is never going to get over her ornithophobia. It's really bad, and we don't even know what triggered it. It's like she was genetically predisposed to having an irrational fear of something that has never even bothered her. So weird.

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  17. Maturity is over-rated. Do they have an end-of-year gift-type thing? Because if you head a bit north, we've got TONS of Obamam posters. I saw 'em yesterday.

    And just to make you feel better about Alexis's ornithophobia...my sister was deathly afraid of pine trees when she was that age. Seriously. Christmas was always fun...

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  18. I'd like an invite to either hold down that teacher while you hurt her or throat punch her myself.

    And Wal-Mart? Teh Suck.

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  19. PittGirl9:30 AM

    Listen. Your child and her fear of birds? She's a smart one. Them birds are evil.

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  20. wow. I think it's funny that people are putting any presidents face on a t-shirt and making it in a 3T so your kid can wear it. Where were the Reagan shirts?? LOL!! ;)

    Our teacher is a pain in the ass too. She actually asked one girl in class for her mom to stop letting her wear her fuzzy white winter coat because it made her nose itch. Really.

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  21. My son went through a phase when he was three where he insisted on wearing different colored socks every day. We didn't have the slightest problem with it, and thought it was cute. When he first did it, one of the daycare teachers said "He has 2 different colored socks on." (as though I had dressed him in the dark) When I told her I knew, and that he liked to do that, she said "Oh well. At least you're not having a family picture taken." So what if we were?!? That comment made me want to go out and have a family picture taken and give that teacher a framed 8X10 picture of my son wearing mismatched socks.

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  22. This woman sounds terrible.

    My husband sent our baby to nursery school (during the election), which is chock full of Obama supporters, in a McCain onesie.

    I tend to agree with you about not politicizing the kiddie clothes, but I picked him up and there it was (husband also bought said onesie, not me). No one said a word about it though.

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  23. JenEngland10:54 AM

    I had a friend once who was terrified of Butterflies. She'd literally hit the deck (sidewalk) if she saw one coming.

    My son's PS teacher mocked him for having a potty accident...at 3. We left that preschool. Hell, even if he was 5, what kind of teacher MOCKS a child??

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  24. Makes you wonder why some people choose to work with children.

    And I probably wouldn't put a political tee on my kid to amuse myself (although a friend had a onesie for her baby that said "I'm already smarter than W" - cracked my ass up) if I did, I wouldn't expect someone to treat her badly as a result.

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  25. It blows me away that you were asked to send a wedding gift for the teacher. I worked at a daycare and if anyone was getting married the staff might chip in for a card or cake or something, but we never ever asked parents or tried to make them feel compelled to give a gift for something of that nature.

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  26. Way more mature. But not nearly as much fun.

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  27. Anonymous2:09 PM

    Pretty sure if it were communist there would have been tons of Obama stuff. Don't get me wrong, I do think Wal- Mart is anti American, I hate that store.
    Um, shouldn't that teacher get fired?

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  28. @PittGirl--I blame you for that bird fear thing. Apparently reading someone's blog detailing why pigeons are evil will result in a kid being born scared of the damn things. Who knew?

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  29. @Anonymous--She has worked there forever and ever. I doubt that teacher is going anywhere anytime soon.

    Alexis, however, will be, just as soon as we manage to buy a new house. Hopefully that will happen before she graduates from college.

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  30. @LilacSpecs--I thought it was VERY weird, too. It's the only time we've been asked to send a gift, and I'm hoping it's the last time. It just seemed very odd. And inappropriate. Yet, you should have seen the haul that was brought in. Some parents went nuts (making my $8 book look really lame--exactly the way I wanted it to look). Thank goodness for a blog so I can figure out if I'm the weird one who is whining about nothing, or if the other parents are the weird ones for just going along with things.

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  31. I'm usually satisfied with my daycare as well but they all have their boneheaded moments I suppose. Um, like waiting ALL DAY to call when your kid gets sunscreen in his eyes in the morning.

    There's no Obama gear in our walmart either and until reading your comments I would assume it was because the Waltons are notoriously conservative but I suppose it has more to do with constituents than that, they are capitalists after all. That also explains why there is none around here as well.

    I gotta say I'm with Alexis on the birds. They freak me out too and I've never had any bad experiences either.

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  32. That would be funny if you could have found some Obama Presidential plates. You can totally get them online, I'm sure. I don't care who the president is though, I'm not sure I want to finish my meal and see them down there. Some flowers? OK. A bunny even? OK. Some guy....uh....nah.

    That teacher should have been suspended for that move. Totally wrong.

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  33. Dude...you should have called me. I could have totally hooked you up with Obama coffee mugs, posters, t-shirts, license plates, etc. Ooh ooh ooh!! And a BOBBLEHEAD!!!

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  34. Thats bizarre that she would make a three-year-old turn his shirt inside-out! Whats the point of that? Maybe if it said, like, "F U" on it or something, she might think its inappropriate for daycare... but Obama? Jeez!

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  35. that sucketh. I think you should buy Alexis a bunch of Obama stuff and dress her in it daily. I know Alexis would refuse to wear it, but it would be soooo awesome to come in every day with a new Obama artifact.

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  36. PS - WTF is up with you having to bring this woman a gift!?

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  37. HAHAHA!!!! That is hilarious! I love your grudge holding. Awesome. That teacher deserves it. What kind of teacher makes fun of the way a kid dresses? WTH is that?????

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  38. Mean people suck! You should put the word out that she wants her guests to make contributions to Obama in lieu of wedding gifts.

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  39. @Noelle--That? IS GENIUS!

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  40. Noelle definitely has a point! Maybe you could put that out to the other parents for her end of the year gift!

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  41. Oh man, that's a pity. I really liked your "Obama overload" plan. Mean Bird Lady deserved it. Still does. maybe paier mache her car with Obama napkins? :-)

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