Tuesday, May 5

The End of the Syrupy World

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked, just as I do every day.

"Ummm . . . waffles!" Alexis replied.

Together we trudged down the stairs into the kitchen to toss a frozen waffle or two into the microwave. Personally I prefer the things to be toasted, but Alexis likes them mushy.

"I want syrup, too," she said.

The kid has eaten waffles nearly every morning for the past two years. Never before has she requested syrup with them.

"Are you sure?" I asked, completely disbelieving.

Her reply was that of a child who has forgotten that whining will not get you your way. I waited for her to realize her error.

"Can I please have syrup?" she finally choked out from her tear-stained face.

"Thank you for asking nicely," I replied as I grabbed the syrup from the cabinet.

"I want a LOT of syrup!" she cheerily said. Three-year olds are quite possibly the very definition of Wild Mood Swings.

I pondered the fact that Alexis eats her breakfast while snuggled into my side of the bed. I would be right next to her as she ate, but since I needed to blow dry my hair, I figured giving the kid a lot of syrup was destined to end bad. I made a big production out of pouring a tiny little drop.

"I want MORE syrup," Alexis said.

"I already gave you a lot, Alexis," I lied. Sorry, but I prefer my bed sheets to be of the not sticky and wet variety.

Never one to relent easily, Alexis continued hounding me for more syrup. She threw in enough Please Action for me to finally give her another tiny drop, but I made sure to make it appear that I had actually poured half the bottle.

"Is that better?" I asked.

"Yeah," Alexis replied.

We trudged back upstairs and I settled Alexis into her perch on the bed. As I turned to grab the blow dryer, she wailed, "I DON'T WANT SYRUP ON MY WAFFLES!"

"You said you wanted syrup, Alexis," I replied.

"I DON'T WANT SYRUP, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I HATE YOU! YOU SUCK! I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN! YOU ARE THE WORST MOTHER EVER!" OK, so maybe she didn't say all of those things, but each was most certainly implied.

Mornings and I have never really been friends. In fact, if Mornings were to get a twitter account, I would declare them worse than an O-bot and block them instantly. Yet, the early morning fog that clouds my brain and makes me useless helps me to ignore whining. There was lots of whining to be ignored. In fact, I'm pretty sure Alexis was doing everything in her power to start a fight. Over syrup.

I did not cave. I told her she could choose to have a good day, or she could choose to have a bad day. She said she wanted to have a bad day. Whatever. She can have a Syrup has Ruined My Life Day if she wants to.

After tackling the short person and cramming her into some clothes, I hauled her and her empty belly back downstairs. I tossed the uneaten bowl of syrupy waffles on Alexis' table as I grabbed her shoes.

As I turned around and walked over to start putting her shoes on her feet, Alexis started shoveling her waffles into her mouth. Her syrup-covered, cold as ice, mushy as can be waffles.

I glared at her oblivious face, disbelief pouring off my body.

Who needs an amusement park when I can get that kind of roller coaster ride right in my own home?

34 comments:

  1. OMG. Sounds like our lunchtime today. Apparently the triangles I made out of her cheese weren't geometrically correct and OH MY GOD THE SCREAMING. I guess I should have used a protractor.

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  2. Which is why I'm so glad I'm not 3 anymore. Have mercy! It does get better (at least it has here). I've gone to work many times, stressed to my limits over the morning with my two who have no concept of time passage. And my girl, she used to pull that I want this, I don't want it routine so much. I didn't care which she chose, but it would be this emotional upheaval that I never could figure out. Girls...

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  3. I know that kind of morning! Fun, fun, fun for all!

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  4. Isn't three a great age! Maybe if the Pens had won...

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  5. LOL. And I thought my menopausal mood swings were bad!! I still have nothing on a 3 year old!!

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  6. Can I just say that I am so relieved that I am not the only one who has this kind of struggle in the morning? You handle it much better than I do though...

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  7. syrup and kids are just askin for disaster.

    I dread the day teaspoon talks.

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  8. That's just insane. I wish I could say I didn't have any experience with that kind of "That's the best food EVER/I hate you for even implying I should eat that crap" food mood swing.

    I would like to applaud you for even contemplating allowing some syrup in your bed, however.

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  9. Yikes! Jennifer's comment cracked me up, because I could totally see Dylan doing that! He got mad at me the other day because I placed one of his magnetic letters slightly crooked!

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  10. LMAO... you are so right.

    We have a free ride everyday. What fun!

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  11. You have to the three year olds and the things that they think! Aivlene has noticed that some girls get into their dance get-ups at dance school, instead of coming in their leotards. She begged me to get dressed at school this week. Weirdo

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  12. Wow....just imagine what she will be like as a teenager!

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  13. Yep, we ride that roller coaster at least a few times a week. We, as I'm sure most parents are, and as you were in this story, are very careful to double (quadruple!) check to be certain Abby really wants what she is asking for before handing it over as asked...usually to no avail. It's honestly more shocking when she doesn't throw a fit and eats it exactly as delivered.

    Ah, life with a just-breaking-out-of-toddler-hood girl. Despite it all, it still makes you smile, upon reflection!

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  14. @Dave P--I'm just going to flat out admit that I actually enjoy those contrary moods. It's fun screwing with someone who refuses to be happy, no matter what. I lurve to ask her if she wants every crazy thing under the sun--an elephant to jump on her bed, a candy necklace for Meg, watch High School Musical while hanging from the ceiling, daddy to wear a tutu, Elmo to sing Supercalafragalisticexpealadocious, etc. She ends up giggling through her angry shouts of, "NO!"

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  15. Sounds like my husband. No lie.

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  16. Whoah, that was like reading a post about my pregnant self in the first trimester. Totally embarrassing...

    What is it with our kids and waffles?

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  17. And the only thing that I can think is that it's a testament to your awesome parenting skills. Very ironic, no doubt. It's obvious who's boss in your relationship, and who tries her best to usurp that authority. In the end a full belly always wins out. Total score.

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  18. Oh dear. That sounds frighteningly familiar.

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  19. I now want waffles. Happy?

    Hallie

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  20. Half my weekend sounded like that. Unfortunately for all the whiners involved, I have a deaf ear especially for those occasions and I ain't afraid of the time-out! I swear Indy spent most of Sunday in cusp-of-a-tantrum mode. *sigh*

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  21. Yeah, I want waffles now too. With lots of syrup. In bed. Mmmmm.

    My poor husband has to deal with our toddler having these kinds of moments and me (at 8 months pregnant) having these kinds of moments. Life in my house is the definition of emotional roller coaster. Wheeeeee!

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  22. Haha--kids are ABSURD. I keep hoping that things will get better over the next year or two, but really they just learn more words and do the same. exact. things, huh?

    I haven't been to your actual site (only google reader) in forever and I LOVE the new look (maybe not so new anymore, though)!

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  23. Ah, yes... aren't those the BEST MORNINGS EVER?

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  24. Why do they think they have the right to change their minds all the time?!?! GAH!

    I'm glad she enjoyed her breakfast! ; )

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  25. I can't tell you how much it feels great to read your post. I can totally relate! =)

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  26. I have that morning...every morning...times two:P

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  27. Oh lordie. I feel ya. There are days I swear pre-schoolers *are* bi-polar disorder.

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  28. Oh boy I've had many of those similar arguments in my house. Hate to break it to you, but I still have them with my 6 year old. I ask her what she wants for breakfast, I make it, give it to her, and then she says but I didn't want this, I wanted that!" *sigh*

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  29. Sounds oh so familiar! It drives me insane!!! What is up with toddlers and waffles? It is in demand every morning here too!!!

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  30. Roller coaster ride it is! I pretend I don't even notice when they finally eat it or I would take another ride up and down that roller coaster of emotion again.

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  31. Oh Sister, I have so been there... Im still there with my tweens. I have to admit. I laughed my butt off, but applauded you for staying strong. Good job!

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  32. But the BEST part of all, maybe the BEST thing I've read all week, is this:

    "She said she wanted to have a bad day"

    Rock on, Alexis. Keep on keepin' it real, girl.

    I am your forever friend now.

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  33. @gudnuff--She was serious, too. The very next morning she declared, "I want to have a good day today." Hopefully she'll keep on "getting it" when it comes to choosing to allow your mood to ruin your day. Fingers crossed!

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  34. hmmm. i feel a song coming on.

    you've only just begun ......

    seriously, though, we faked the roo-girl out for YEARS by pouring her juice/syrup/whatever and crying out "too much!!" when we had poured just enough.

    she thought she was getting away with something. worked for a loooooooong time.

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