Sunday, June 14

The Concert We Shall Not Name

Twenty years. That's how long it had been since I last saw a particular band in concert. I wouldn't say they were ever my favorite band. In high school, that honor belonged to Nine Inch Nails, but this band was the very next set of CDs in my alphabetized wallet. (Nobody can ever say everything I listen to sounds exactly the same.) This band was up there, though, near the top of my favorites list. Way up there.

When I learned they were rolling through Pittsburgh, I figured what the hell? Tickets were only $10, so I could saunter in a little late, hang out for a few songs, and leave early without really wasting any money.

Yeah, right. I stayed for the whole show.

Anyhooooo, if you know the name of the band in the photos, that is in itself a confession of dorktitude. Recognition = knowledge = reason for mockery. So tread lightly when you mock me for going. Just sayin'.

Besides, at least I've changed clothes since the last time I saw them in concert.

Seriously. Where the hell do you find neon knee socks and leggings? There must be a whole generation of peeps who kept all their 80's stuff because that sort of thing was EVERYWHERE. I haven't seen so much neon, ripped denim, and side ponytails since Lisa Frank was adorning the front of my Trapper Keeper.

Some twitter friends and I met up at the show, and were sort of just standing around staring at the Fashion Crimes as we waited for The Band to hit the stage. We all had general admission tickets valid for sitting in the grass, but were in no hurry to find our way out there. Good thing, too, because all of a sudden security decided to open up the roof-covered pavilion to us cheap jerks.

There was a stampede.

*Insert really mean joke here. I totally admit, it's MEAN.*

We cautiously followed the herd of wild animals into the pavilion, and not a minute too soon. The skies opened up and IT POURED. We stayed dry because we are that kind of awesome.

As the skies cried over our collective dorktitude, the show finally started.



You gotta admit, some of the guys have held up pretty well over the years.

Shut up. I have to give bonus points because LET'S GO PENS!

Not long after the Beantown Boy made it clear that the Pens have the right stuff, Monkey Boy had a . . . uh . . . moment with the stage. It was AWKWARD.

But that was all forgotten the moment Blue Eyes popped up in the middle of the crowd. This is the moment when he saw me and realized the love of his life was still out there.

Coincidentally, that's the same moment when I realized that I REALLY need image stabilization on my 75-300mm lens so that I could have better photographic evidence that he still loves me best.

You should probably be grateful that I was too cheap to buy a lens with image stabilization. Otherwise, you'd be looking at a very clear photo of the Old Man's pooper.

It sucks that he's older than me. I can't really yell at my elders to pull up their pants, you know.

I can, however, use my Mom Powers to make note of something significant. There seems to be one member of The Band who is not all that cool with being there. I recognize the signs because my own dear sweet child does this same thing. You see, when Alexis finds herself in the midst of a crowd and gets uncomfortable, she tries to make herself invisible by hiding her face in her shoulder. It's as if she thinks that if she can manage to avoid making eye contact with anyone, it'll be like she isn't there.

Check this out:

"You can't make me look up."

"La, la, la. There are only four guys on stage because you can't see me if I don't look up."

"I'm still not here. Carry on."

I don't know. Maybe Jonathan has some sort of neck condition that causes his left ear to be permanently attached to his left shoulder? Either that, or he's trying REALLY hard to not make eye contact with anyone. If he doesn't see you, you can't see him. Just ask Alexis, she'll confirm that is how it works.

He could probably teach her how to hide in some fog, I suppose. He's got mad skills when it comes to that.

Overall, I have to admit it was a pretty good show. There were some minor-ish issues with the crowd (For example, there is a bounty out on the chick that was trying to get busy with my left leg and left arm. OMG, how hard is it to respect personal space? WTF? Do people really need to give me a lap dance at a concert?). The newer music from The Band kinda sucks because it's all pervy sounding (e.g. 40-somethings REALLY shouldn't be singing about giving a girl Full Service. I'M JUST SAYIN'.), but the old stuff? Just as good as ever.

Commence the mocking in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .


  1. Wow, everyone is huge.

  2. Thanks for the pics with the do-me-booted, big thigh girls in the background. It was the only thing that made me scroll down the page.

  3. I can't mock. I'm SUPER jealous that you could be there while I was in class.

    You got some awesome shots!

  4. love the post. I do like their new stuff too...feel free to start the mocking.

  5. No mocking. I'm officially jealous.

    And? I like, totally puffy heart luff you solely based on the fact that you just said some of your favorite bands were NIN and NKOTB. Diversity. That's what it's all about.

  6. Anonymous12:08 AM

    I'm either a dork or just plain old because I'm jealous and remember most of the lyrics to their stuff.

  7. Wow - that's hilarious. Both that they are actually touring, and that you would go. :) Thanks for the pics, that was great!

  8. Wow. I have no words at all for this post. Except that ten bucks could've bought ya some pepper spray for the leg humping lap dancers. Of course if you spent your ten bucks on that you wouldn't have had it to pay for the concert....wait a minute that sounds win-win to me!

    I won't hold it against ya but I will laugh at you if you ever mention this NKOTB love again mmkay?

  9. ahem....BWAHAHAHA!
    No, really. It's okay. I was a fan for a few short years when giant neon button sewn on your sweater and flourescent leggings were all the rage. I think I was 8.
    And Joey still looks totally swoon inducing.
    Although I have to say Donnie and Danny look pretty skeezy but I never liked them. And Jonathan? Isn't he like 50 now? Can you really blame him for being a bit embarassed at this point in his life?

  10. Okay, I have to mock. all I see is my daughter at the Jonas Brothers concert 20 years from now!! Hysterical.

  11. I was in elementary school when NKOTB was huge. I remember my friend Victoria had this NKOTB sleeping bag. Hawt.

  12. I am also hiding my face, avoiding eye contact with BurghBaby. Oh, deary dear.

    But I suppose your obsession with NKOTB is no worse than my obsession with Morrissey.

    (Wait....yeah, it is. BWAHAHAHAHAH.)

  13. Loved this post.

    I "grew up" listening to the more eclectic early 80s New Wave bands, whereas NKOTB was toward the end of the 80s and peaking when I had already graduated. HOWEVER...I would sooo love a Flock of Seagulls reunion tour, or WHAM! or Psychedelic Furs...Haircut 100...


    Great post!

  14. I would never mock. I wanted to go. How awesome would the people watching been? I would have just been happy with that, not to mention a little Joey-Joe action, as he was my favorite!

  15. LOL!!!!!!! Sadly, I have to say, I am to OLD for NKOTB! Their time was just past mine...God, I feel ancient...

    Anyway, in regards to NIN.....I LOVED them too!! In fact, I grew up with the original drummer and went to school (k-12) with him. (My little brush with fame).

  16. I will not mock... I will not mock... I will not mock... I will not mock...

    You, anyway.

    Who was it that I asked about Day Glo throwing up all over Starlake that night [@kdudders maybe?]? Because... OHMYGOD. The brightness!

    Sadly, half of those girls are younger than me & I guess they wanted to get in on the 80s? Who knows?

    Glad you had fun. You DORK.

  17. I would totally mock you, except then you would be able to mock me for being too old to have loved them.

  18. If you're a dork then I'm a dork right there with ya! Cause I am totally jealous! I remember all the lyrics!

  19. I would like to mock but my corneas are still burning from the girl with orange knee socks and side ponytail in the first picture.

  20. This band you speak of was the first concert I ever saw, I was in jr. high I think, maybe elementary school, who knows. I think I am still in love with Jordan...whoa and thats enough with those kinds of confessions...

  21. 1. The one guy on the left (I only know one of them by name) looks like Adam Sandler in that picture.

    2. Too bad they couldn't afford pants for the ladies. Heh.

  22. OK so I admit, I do know who they are, but only because I couldn't stand them way back when they were popular. I was 21, in college and worked at a music store. We had to play them frequently in the store because, well, that is what all of the teenage girls wanted to hear and our job was to sell CD's after all. But I just didn't get why all of the teeny boppers thought they had the "right stuff". But hey I was in college and "too cool" for that kind of music, right?
    However, I will not mock because I certainly had my share of "Bands I shall not name" that I played over and over and swooned over back in my day. And I will admit that even though I did not like NKOTB back then, I do like their new stuff now, and agree they aged quite nicely. *ahem*

  23. SQUEEEEEEAL!!!!!




    /14-year old me flipping out.

    You might remember my devastation last year at not being able to go to the concert when they were in Dallas, because it was the DAY before my scheduled c-section. Sigh. I totally could have gone. Although, the lap dancing might have sent me into labor.

    But! But! They're coming back here too! And I'm going, oh how I'm going. And your post, just reminded me that I will be there in 32 days.

    Also? Jon was my favorite when I was 14.

    And I don't think he wanted to be in the band then either.

    Step by step, ooooh baby...

  24. OH! New Kids On The Block! I had NO idea, beyond it's clearly a boy band. But I'm way older than you.

    The dude who tries to hide looks like Adam Sandler.

  25. I'd totally make fun (I never did like NKOTB, not even when they were cool), except not that long ago I paid good money to go see:
    Cyndi Lauper (Taylor Dane opened)
    and Billy Idol
    And I've gone to see the Violent Femmes too.

    So yeah...I like cheese too.

  26. Oh my. :) The band I try to deny ever liking. (Except to Gracie who doesn't yet understand the concept of blackmailing her mom, but DOES seem to understand the concept of rolling her eyes and asking me to please shut it off when I tried to play them on YouTube. With lots of dancing. Just sayin')

  27. ChickLitLisa2:06 PM

    Did you at least go to the NIN nails concert last week to make up for this?

    but I confess...I would not turn down free tickets to several 80's hair bands...and I had an ok time at the Judas Priest concert last year that I attended under protest, of course.

  28. NKOTB was my first concert.
    And my second.
    I SWORE they would come out of the crowd and declare their love for me.
    All of them.
    For me.

    So, as much as I LOVE mocking you...this time...on our scale of coolness: it's a tie.

    YEAH PENS!!!

  29. THAT'S RIGHT! You like boy bands! Or at least that one. I'm so so sorry. I'm sure there's a 12 step program for that.

    (says she as she wanders off to Google Weird Al)

  30. You big dork! hee hee... ; )

    I was never a fan but I bet that brought back a slew of good memories. Glad you had fun despite your neighbor who knew nothing of personal space.

  31. Anonymous3:23 PM

    I won't even tell you about taking my future wife to a Rick Springfield concert.

    Ohhhh the shame, the horror.

    I can see them tearing up my Springsteen life membership card with that confession. "....I want Jessie's girl, why can't I find a woman like that?......"

    The things we do for love, right?

  32. @ChickLitLisa--NO. Dammit. I wanted to go to NIN, NKOTB, and No Doubt, but the ol' budget screamed for mercy and ran away before I could buy tickets. Starlake (yes, I still call it Starlake) was damn sexy this past week.

  33. tehamy5:38 PM

    I am SOOOO jealous! I wanted to go to this concert so bad. I guess a week at the beach was a fair trade, but have I mentioned I am soooo jealous?

  34. ChickLitLisa6:24 PM

    My friends went to NIN and were less than impressed...and they went last time they were here, too (and loved it). Our budget was busted buying tickets for the Dylan/Mellencamp/Nelson tour.
    Oh-I still call it Starlake, too...and the civic arena or igloo instead of Mellen arena

  35. @ChickLitLisa--I've actually never been to a NIN concert, but I expect that I would be disappointed. I really prefer the earlier stuff (Pretty Hate Machine is the greatest album EVER), so all the new stuff would just annoy me. Not to mention the freak ratio . . .

    It's the Igloo, btw. No other name will ever be as good. ;-)

  36. I loved them when I was a kid. I had a t-shirt that was 3 sizes too big that I wore to school to proove it, haha. No mocking here, you rock :)

  37. I think he has torticollis.

    And, I really want to know where the picture of you in your "concert gear" is?!

    I really wish I could come up with some good mockery, but I'm tired. Maybe later.

  38. 20 years ago I wanted to see them but didn't have the bucks. These days, I can't stay up late enough to see a concert.

    p.s. Those socks are available at Target. I saw them this weekend and I almost dislocated my jaw from all the dropping of it.

  39. Hot Topic. That is where you find the neon knee socks and tights. Believe me, I have a stash of the neon green from my Hot Metal Hellion days!

  40. Dammittahellandback they're not supposed to STILL be hot. *trying not to squeal like my teenage daughter when she sees Jonas Brothers anything*

    And you like NIN too? <3

  41. Yeah right, stay for just a few songs? You had me at nine inch nails. Looks like the best show ever!

    Oh, and don't worry HSM 3,2,and 1 will soon be replaced with Jonas and Hannah--just sayin'.

  42. I knew exactly who it was going to be when I simply saw the subject link below my blogher ad. :)

    I had to laugh at the photos of Jon - I've seen them 3 times (twice in the fall, once with the spring tour - and am going again next week) - and for the most part he DID look up. Perhaps that day was an 'off' day for him.

    But -- anyway -- I'm squeeing over here at finding another fellow Blockhead. :) :) :)

  43. Before I even got to the pics I KNEW KNEW it was going to be them.
    Dood, I had the stuff... all of it. Knew every word by heart, had the videos everything.

    I might possibly have gone to a concert now ;-) I went then.