Wednesday, July 29

Five Things I Wish We Had Found on the Bulldog

1. An ATM hidden under her tail. I could totally use a convenient little spot for getting some extra free cash. I'd even be willing to put up with the requisite odor of Bulldog farts on my money.

2. A chocolate bar tucked into the folds above her nose. If I can be picky, I could really go for a Snickers right now.

3. The secret to eternal life tattooed on her belly. I could sell that sucker for major cash.

4. A brain between her ears. Enough said.

5. A new dishwasher under her toes. For the love of my sanity, the freakin dishwasher that came with this house has got to be the loudest blasted dishwasher that was ever made. You could land a helicopter in the kitchen and I wouldn't hear it because all I can hear is WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH from the ugly dishwasher that doesn't even manage to get dishes clean.

Instead of any of those fun options, we found a tick on Meg today. A TICK. On the dog who routinely mistakes me for her personal portable pillow.

Ick.

Blech.

Puke.

Gag.

Can't. stop. itching.

29 comments:

  1. tick schmick ur dog is awesome.

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  2. ech. just... ech.

    better than lice ... but not by much.

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  3. I swear I am now feeling fleas all over me. NO MORE FURRY THINGS.

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  4. Oh your dog is teh cutest! Let's just hope she stays tick free.

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  5. GREAT. Now I'm itchy.

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  6. I love your dog, ticks and all.

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  7. The only thing louder than the dishwasher that Farfanda puts in their houses is their air conditioning units. God forbid both are running at the same time...

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  8. My friend who goes camping almost every weekend with her kids, has found numerous ticks on the kids. I don't even know what one looks like.

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  9. Anonymous8:16 AM

    About your dishwasher:
    I thought ours sucked too but then I switched detergents and all of a sudden it was awesome (in terms of cleaning). I feel like different detergents work with different water and machine combinations. Electrosol doesn't get the job done here, but Palmolive Eco does.

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  10. but girl, your dog is awesome! tick and all...

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  11. @Anonymous--I have figured out EXACTLY what is wrong with the dishwasher. It needs me to take a baseball bat to it and put it out of its misery. Then I could get a pretty stainless steel one to match the rest of the appliances.

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  12. Awwww, but she is soooooo sweet! The farts, the drool, the tail pocket, the wrinkles, the snores, the stinkeye...all the reasons we love them even more ;)

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  13. eeeeeewwww! good luck with that :(

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  14. I think pets are just lucky they're cute!

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  15. Aww, Meg looks dejected. Love her. I. HATE. Ticks. Makes you feel hypersensitive!! My cat had one recently, and I didn't think, just got it out. My doc scolded me for it. Apparently preggos aren't supposed to go near them. Nice.

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  16. Every one of y'all who has said that you love Meg is going to get to have her for a day or two. At this rate, I might get a month-long break from her annoyances.

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  17. Ewww! Dog farts . . . if they made Gas-X for dogs, I would buy it by the case.

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  18. Meg looks sad. Why did you take her pet tick away? She had totally taught it tricks like fetching bone particles and germs.

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  19. Here's a big share: I unknowing slept in a nest of the things in high school and me and my girl campmates spent most of the next morning picking them off of every part of my body. I stopped counting at 16.

    Ticks freak me out like no other creature on earth can. Grossgrossgross

    But Meg only had ONE, so that's SORT of a bright spot.

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  20. @rsager--(AKA Alexis' new BFF who she talks about every. single. day) EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

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  21. You need a Bosch dishwasher. Also? I need a Snickers bar after thinking about bulldog farts. :-)

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  22. Ummmm...at least you found it on Meg and not on Alexis? Yeah, sorry - all I got. :)

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  23. Oh c'mon. Ticks aren't so bad. It's not like they burrow their heads into your skin, pierce your blood vessels with their mandibles, then drink until their bellies are full and if you try to pull them off they'll often leave their head behind to give you a nasty infection like that other animal called the... the... dammit, what's that animal I'm thinking of? Nevermind. Anyway, at least a tick's not as bad as that.

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  24. Oh that face! She looks completely humiliated by it all.

    Nasty tick. I hate ticks.

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  25. @Brian--THAT WASN'T NICE.

    *shudders*

    *whimpers*

    *takes a bath in the 20 lbs of just purchased bug killer*

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  26. A doggy butt ATM, really??

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  27. K9 Advantix protects against ticks!

    For some reason, my mom's yard has been INFESTED with ticks. Harvey had one on the bridge of his nose, and my sister's dog has had at least 3 taken off of him. I have no idea why the ticks are so plentiful this year... but at least it's not as bad as in TN. Man, my friends were pulling several ticks off of their horses every day (they like the hollow under their chin).

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  28. UGH...a tick. Blech.

    at least it wasn't a flea. I FREAKED when my husband suggested that my dog had fleas today. She didn't, but desperately need a flea collar just for extra protection, and new heartworm meds...must remember that tomorrow...

    Anyway, driveling. I'll avoid the requisite nasty comment about a dishwasher under the tail...that could just go SO wrong....

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  29. I still can't believe you didn't find candy in her folds of fat around her face. That would have been cool! :-)

    Sorry about the tick.

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