Tuesday, July 28

This. This is Why I Plan to Lock Her in the Basement for the Next Twenty Years.

Alexis has a boyfriend.

The little punk's name is Casey, and he is a classmate. Despite the fact that I've made it real clear to him that I am big enough to take him down, the kid has been spotted hugging my kid, holding her hand, and generally being all together way too freakin' adorable with her.

I swear it was just six months ago that my dear, sweet daughter was in diapers. Now she's going steady with a boy. OH. MY. GAWD.

Casey is all I hear about these days. "Casey wants to come to my house," Alexis tells me. "Casey didn't eat his lunch today," she reports. "Me and Casey played tag today," she says. I ask how some of the other kids are doing and if she played with anyone besides Casey. "Casey is my boyfriend," is always her answer. It's as if she has dumped all of her best girl friends for a boy.

Fan-freakin-tastic. I thought I had ten more years before I had to perfect my Watch Yourself, You Little Punk Stare.

Tonight Alexis was out in the front yard with me, helping me rip out weeds and grass for a flower bed. She told me all about her day as we worked, including all the fun things that she and Casey did together. It was all very cutesy and fun and blah, blah, blah. Suddenly she stopped her gushy Casey talk mid-sentence and started staring across the street. "What do you see?" I asked.

"Look, Momma. There's a boy," she replied.

As my eyes rolled out of my head, I looked over and saw the 4-year old who lives directly across the street walking down the sidewalk with his slightly older brother.

"Momma," Alexis continued, "he's cute."

"What about Casey?" I asked.

"I can have two boyfriends," she replied.

And then I died.

51 comments:

  1. LOL oh I SO should not laugh... my kid was flirting with the waiter at The Olive Garden last week, so I have a feeling these days are not too far away for us. Godspeed, my dear.

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  2. That is too funny. You definitely need to watch her!

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  3. Ha! Just reaffirms my plan to have boys.

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  4. That is why I am SO happy to have 2 boys!!

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  5. Ha! Fortunately, my near 3-yr-old has refocused her attention on her best friend Cassie, but she was all about the boys for few months there (about a year...) Good luck!

    I love the photo! I gotta get one of those water... (pistols? canons?) for Abby! (Of course, then I'll always be wet when outside.)

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  6. Hubby was ecstatic when we found out we were having a boy . . . his philosophy? "With a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. With a girl, you have to worry about all the other penises." I see his point, but Cooper has become a preschool Casanova . . . all I ever hear about is Maddie and Morgan! Seriously! Aren't raging hormones at least 10 years away?!

    I am off to Google 'chastity belt' - I'll send the link your way!

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  7. Heheh, you have such a girly girl on your hands there. Good luck when she hits puberty!

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  8. yeah, and then creepy, skeevy guys ...

    oh, never mind. there's plenty of time for that.

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  9. Oh my, that is just precious.
    My boy child said one day to me as we are leaving to go somewhere " Mom do I look handsome, because I need to be handsome." When I asked why he replied, "Mom, you know I love me some ladies." Yep, I just died on the spot.
    Enjoy these days, it won't be cute in 10 years.

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  10. Ahahaha. You're in trouble.

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  11. If you'd like to borrow my plan you can. It's very simple. When my Sam turns 18 she can choose the convent or the basement. The basement is spacious so I think she may choose that. Plus, most of her toys are down there. I'm working on a third plan, but it remains to be seen. It involves her 4 month old, almost 19 pound baby brother. I'm thinking when he's 14 he'll be a suitable bodyguard - I can rent him out if you're interested.

    But seriously, that's about as frighteningly cute as it gets.

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  12. Fishsticks and Fireflies comment is hilarious!

    How big is your basement, cause you might want to lock her up in it.

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  13. LOL, you are so in for it!

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  14. We should just go in on a storage place together. We can find one with windows at least, don't you think? Monkey is much worse than Bun, but Bun is catching up.

    ciao,
    rpm

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  15. @Dave P--Run, do not walk, to Target. Those waterguns are $2.50 right now (clearance summer junk). I need one more, if you happen to find a few extras. ;-)

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  16. I cannot stop laughing at this, even though I know I shouldn't. :(

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  17. That is hilarious. A mini woman on a mission. Don't worry, they grow out of it... For a while, anyway. Lu loved boys until kindergarten, and now she thinks they are stupid. I'm sure that will change in the next year or so, and she WILL be locked in my basement. Not till she is 18 mind you, but until she is 25. :)

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  18. Having boys does not make this easier in the slightest. Peanut is already a ladies man and he isn't yet 2. Perhaps I should rethink bringing him to your house this weekend?
    (KIDDING!!)

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  19. Holy hell woman!!!

    ouch.
    That is one fantastic shot, though.

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  20. OMG! Well, at least she has that water gun to keep her image up :)

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  21. *snort*

    You're in trooooooooooooooouble. Love it.

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  22. LOL! And again, LOL! You're screwed! I'm really glad right now that my girls have two older brothers who will likely be big enough to scare away any boys...You wanna borrow them? Oh, wait. One of them is 4. And very cute. You better take Fishsticks up on her offer of the chastity belt link ;)

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  23. My son already knows who he's going to marry. There used to be another boy who was going to marry that girl and he said "I'll marry her after he does." The other boy has since dropped out of the race. :-)

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  24. ~snark~ The Howler, at that age, was already planning multiple marriages--I think she was up to four. Thank God, though, she was doing them consecutively, not concurrently.

    Ask her what it means to 'have a boyfriend' and I dare you not to die at the cuteness of it.

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  25. She sure can have two boyfriends! I mean, as long as she's under 5.

    She is so precious. And I love the photo. We call that Concentration-Tongue. VERY popular around here.

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  26. @mumple--I actually know the answer to that question. It means "to have a friend who is a boy." It's all very sweet and cutesy and *puke*, but it still makes me want to tie up every boy between the ages of 1 and 5 within the tri-state area.

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  27. It's not any better when you have boys... My oldest once had three girlfriends at once "Shelby, and well, I don't know the other one's name, and I don't know the third one's name, either, but they're my girlfriends, and I want to kiss them, but they won't let me."

    Thank goodness for small miracles.

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  28. Oh my. One of those heavy duty industrial chastity belts, too.

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  29. Aahhhhahhahahhaha

    OMG, sometimes i'm so glad I have a boy. Although HIS little girlfriends at school are trying to turn him into a princess, so I suppose it's never smooth sailing on either side of that fence.

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  30. It only gets worse! My 10 year old is eyeing her brothers friends, he doesn't like it one bit, of course he is 20 and his friends are his age and older. I feel your pain and the pain to come. heh!

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  31. Precisely why I didn't want to have a girl!!! But, of course, I did! DANG!!!

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  32. That is the cutest photo!!
    And that is when I'm very happy I'm a boys mom :)

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  33. Oh thank god it's not just Gracie. :) Last year when she was four? The daycare director stopped me as I was walking in to pick her up. She said Gracie had been caught on the playground LIPLOCKED with a boy. (It turned out to be "just" kissing.) Consequently, we spent the entire ride home talking about how we show our friends we like them without kissing them on the mouth.

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  34. sisjake2:32 PM

    You will get a brief respite between ages 6 and 12. Just when you are thinking you are safe she will rediscover boys...and by then the boys will know what they are supposed to do. Have dad act like he's cleaning the shotgun every time she brings a boy over for the first time...and make a comment like "do we have space for another body in the backyard". That ought to do it.

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  35. Wait til she plays doctor with those boyfriends!!

    Isn't parenthood fun??

    Hallie :)

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  36. LOL! My daughter's 2. I know it's only a matter of time before she hits that stage and stops looking at all the boys in her play group like they're wimps. SOOOO not ready.
    Cute photo!

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  37. @No Princess Here--Funny thing is that Alexis DOES look at all the boys like they are wimps. They just happen to be wimps she can boss around.

    *sigh*

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  38. Feel free to send her to Texas. She'll be safe with mine, who when I asked him last week if he had a girlfriend, he shot me the dirtiest look ever and shouted "NEVER! I ONLY WANT TO HAVE BOYFRIENDS!"

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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  39. ROFLMAO! See Mom - it's simple - I'll just have two!

    HA!

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  40. It seems to start younger and younger. I remember two Valentine's days ago my 10 year old sister got a valentine from one of the little boys in her class. Which included a rose a teddy bear and box of candy!!! Me the twenty year old who can totally date got NOTHING. Little punk....although I wonder if he has an older brother.....

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  41. Better to have two than one, IMO. That way she can't get too serious about either one of them! LOL!

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  42. I'm feeling scared but lucky at the same time. My 4 year old girls still insist they're going to marry daddy and live with us forever. I'll be sure to put that on video and replay when they want to start dating :)

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  43. I am rolling over with laughter. Seriously. Not even my teenager is giving me that much drama. Ooooh, you're in for a fun time in the teen years.

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  44. ROFLOL! Poor Casey! Already being cheated on. LOL!

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  45. Oh Lordy... trouble is a brewin' (as we'd say down here in the South)!! Miss A is already "playing the field!" HA!

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  46. I knew you were screwed after the zipper-top incident in the department store.

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  47. Wait until she figures out that she can have more than two, and how easy it will be to keep them straight with caller ID on her cell phone.

    Oy.

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  48. Oh boy. I really hope it's a phase.

    Tell me it's a phase!

    My daughter already knows who she wants to marry when she's older...

    ...Her best friend's DAD!

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  49. No way! Are you kidding me? She's 3 right? You had better lock her up now....whoa! :-)

    Good luck with that. And when will her dad be getting the shot gun ready? You know. . . like Bill Engvall said (yes, I am that redneck, I guess)..stand at the door with the shotgun when the guy comes to pick her up and say "You be careful with my daughter. Trust me, boy, I don't mind going back to prison."

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  50. Too funny! My oldest had boys calling her on the phone in Kindergarten. On.The.Phone! And I have two girls. I so dread the teenage years. . .

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  51. that photo is so incredibly perfect for this post. and seriously? your kid frikken rocks.

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