Monday, July 13

Like I Had a Choice

I'm cute when I think I actually have control over things. Like, when I thought I got to decide if our pond fish were staying or going? So adorable.

We started out taking the fish. That genius idea was followed by the realization that it's a helluva lot of work to move fish who live in a hole in the ground, so we decided to leave them. Then the buyer's inspector told him the pond was ruining the house. So, the buyer decided the fish were going. We had grand plans for a temporary pond situation at the new house. Then we didn't have grand plans. That was followed by not having any clue whatsoever what we were doing. And then a plan was hatched that was pretty doable.

At the very moment that the plan came together, the pond magically sprung a leak. Seriously, the very moment we thought we knew what we were doing, we came home to find the water had gone down four inches. Mr. Husband filled it back up, only to find it drained back down again the next morning. For over a week, we checked the pond several ties a day, desperately trying to make sure enough water stayed in the pond to keep the fish alive.

Our last water bill is going to be SO AWESOME.

At last, Sunday rolled around and we managed to put the plan into play. Mr. Husband scooped the fish out of the pond and crammed them into giant plastic bags. Of course, that was a lot easier to do with Sidney than it was Arnie.

Sidney is small enough to force into doing whatever it is that you want him to do. Arnie? IS NOT. Mr. Husband scooped him into the net and the dang fish started flailing and flipping and jumping. He might have also screamed. I can't be sure because while Mr. Husband yelled for me to help, I ran away, squealing like the wimp girl that I am.

(Mr. Husband is 6' 2". Arnie is as big as his leg.)

Once the really pissed off fish were loaded into bags and tubs, we stuck them in the back of our beat-up pickup truck and drove them to the pond store, where they are being fish-sat until we have a chance to build them a new permanent home. It was a special sort of trashy for the three of us to be piled into an old pickup, windows rolled down because the A/C is broken, and giant fish flopping around in the back. The best part of the 15-mile drive was the part how I kept staring out the back window, watching the fish. Cause, you know, if the covers had blown off the tubs and the fish had jumped out, I totally could have done something about it WITH MY EYES.

Once we made it to the fish store, we did have the pleasure of having the entire staff stop doing anything productive as they all gathered around Arnie to proclaim, "Holy crap, he's huuuuuge!"

Yeah, we know.

Fortunately, Arnie and Sid have a place to hang out for the next month or so, giving us time to build them a new home. It's a really good thing that was what I decided I wanted to do, because luck would have it no other way. Nothing screams YOU'RE FUNNY IF YOU THINK THIS POND IS STAYING like a nice-sized hole magically appearing in the liner.


  1. I'm scared of that fish. Good thing you and A didn't have to do it alone. That's just insane.

    PS - I hope all your house woes are over?

  2. holy crap on a cracker, he IS huge. Lordy!

    And I just laughed out loud at the 'I could have done something with my eyes' bit. HA! And also picturing you all in the pickup truck, awesome.

  3. Holy big a$$ fish. I love my fish, on the other side of the glass. I do not deal with the handling of said fish, that's Mister Cs responsibility. It's in the contract. Love the vision of the whiskey tango pickup truck tooling down the road as well.

  4. I'm seriously laughing over here.

    And you know, you could have just filleted the fish up and had them for dinner. Problem solved! (kidding, of course. because, ew.)

  5. Gosh he is enormous! I'm glad you found temp fish-sitting services. Who knew?

  6. pardon my redneck, but how in the hell does one acquire monster fish?

  7. Anonymous12:31 AM


    Where oh where did you get Alexis' dress? It is adorable!


  8. ChickLitLisa1:07 AM

    I am glad it went well...I imagine it could have been ALOT worse!

  9. fish ... *shudder*

    they COULD have joined jack in that great pond in the sky .......

  10. LMAO over here! Love the "WITH MY EYES" comment!
    Yay for being fish-sat. Who knew?

  11. Yep. Huge. You weren't kidding. Glad you found a temp home. I wouldn't have wanted to leave them behind either. Arnie is very cool.

  12. LOL. Fate loves to play funsy with us, doesn't it? They do say that the surest way to make that higher power laugh is to make plans ;)

    I hope the moving of the fish goes smoothly from here on out and that they enjoy their little 'vacation' :D

    And of course, I hope the rest of your move goes smoothly!!

  13. Oooh, yeah for doing it on Sunday, with help. That saga sounds very much like something that would transpire at our house, complete with trashy truck ride and all.

  14. Holy crap, that's a *huge* fish!

    But I'm partial to them. My ILs have a pond & I desperately want one. And a pool. And...and...and... You know how it goes.

    Alexis does not look pleased with the revelation that her fish are going away. How's she taking it?

  15. @Amanda--I have no idea. Arnie was about six inches long when we bought him five years ago. He must be buying steroids from the birds.

    @Justina--The dress is from Old Navy. Not sure that they still have them, but I did buy it this year.

    Big ups to North Hills Water Gardens. They are the ones who are fish sitting for a while. Yinz can always go visit Arnie and Sid if you're up there. They are in the Oriental Pond. :-)

  16. Dude, he IS huge. Wow.

    Don't you love it when your plans are made FOR you? ;)

  17. @Trinity--Alexis has asked where the fish are approximately 57925672 times in the past day and a half. Apparently seeing them put into a pond at the pond store wasn't enough for her. She needs confirmation that they haven't grown legs and wandered somewhere else.

  18. What ginormous fish!! Wow. Wish we had a pond - or even a place to PUT a pond - for such fish. You're a wonder with the water creatures!

  19. I'm hoping that this is currently the worst of your house woes and The Nonsense has all been hammered out.

  20. Wow. That is a huge fish. I am a bit freaked out by any kind of large fish, but because his name is Arnie that somehow makes him okay.
    Hope the fish have fun at the babysitters and it all works out okay. :)

  21. How big was Arnie when you bought him?!

  22. THAT is ONE BIG fish!