Wednesday, July 15

You Say Better Stuff than Me Anyway

As it turns out, crap doesn't magically grow legs and walk its way into boxes just because I will it to do so. It's very disappointing to learn that I don't possess ultimate control over inanimate objects, especially since that means I probably should make like a rat and pack. (Pack? Rat? Pack rat? Get it? HA! I slay me.) Tomorrow we will be loading everything we own into a big ol' truck, with the intention of closing on both houses Friday. Ultimately, we hope to be unloading all our crap Friday afternoon into the Newer! Bigger! House. Between now and then, though, is mucho work to do.

So, posting will be sparse for the next few days. Sparse as in, HELLO GUEST POSTS! And maybe photo posts. We shall see.

In the meantime, how about y'all write a post for me? For real. Could y'all be so kind as to leave a comment or two or ten for Miss Alexis? Tell her something you wish someone had told you before you had to learn it the hard way. Anything.

I'll start, and I'll even list five things I wish I had known sooner in life.

1. "Sleep like a baby" is perhaps the dumbest phrase ever invented. It should be "sleep like a teenager" because babies don't sleep. For what it's worth, neither do some toddlers and preschoolers. *cough*Alexis*cough*

2. Pittsburgh is the greatest city on Earth. There's no point in testing that theory, because that is a lesson I learned the hard way. Forget Minot, Cleveland, Akron, Los Angeles, Chicago, Plattsburgh, Boston, Atlanta, Alicante, London, Orlando, Steubenville, Raleigh, and everywhere in between. Pittsburgh is the place to be.

3. You're never to old to climb atop the highest slide you can find, close your eyes, and fly down that sucker.

4. Happiness is a choice, and you have to make up your mind to lead a life full of it. Nobody else can do that for you.

5. There is no problem that a spork and some duct tape can't fix.

Your turn. If you don't mind, keep it kinda clean because I won't have internet access to police your asses. Annnnnd . . . Go!


  1. 1. Now I'm homesick. Thanks. But, yes, Pittsburgh is the best city. Ever.

    2. Packing, of any kind, sucks. (I'm currently procrastinating camping packing. The weather is too weird and is causing me to pack everything from swim suits to snow suits. UGH!)

    3. I'm about to steal words. Shh. It fits me though. "You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in. And tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang. Sing it anyway." Amen.

  2. Oh.My.God. Steubenville??!? Well hell yes Pittsburgh is better but I have to know what made you even list my & Dean Martin's (shhh) hometown.

    Alexis: Marry a man with integrity. Be certain that he has it in his very bones. It will help in nearly every way imaginable.

  3. Alexis, your mom is right. Duct tape can fix anyting.

    Always ask to run through a sprinkler if you can while you're a kid. You'll regret not doing so when you're older. True story.

    Don't take for granted how gorgeous & awesome Pittsburgh is. There may be a day a college/job tries to remove you from its beauty.

    Lastly, your mom is a pretty smart chick. Listen to her. She's a fun chick as well. Don't take that for granted either!

  4. while you are moving and absent from the 'net, I will be on vacation with the inlaws. Five whole days in the Smoky Mtns with no internet access. Five whole days with my MIL, with barely a cell phone signal to twitter. *head desk*

    Alexis - Keep smiling and dancing. Nothing like a tutu and some great music some dancing and a great sense of humor to lift your spirits on even the worst days.

  5. Alexis: The only thing I'd add to the You Can Fix Anything With List? A hammer.

    The only other bit of advice I have: You don't have to stop eating Goldfish crackers just because you're grown up.

  6. I visited Pittsburgh once as a kid. It was so darn hot that I can't imagine living there. But if you say it's better than 80 degrees all summer and no bugs and eco-friendly, positive peopled Northwest.... then.... :) :)

    I'm fearful to say much else or I might get blasted with that hose!

  7. Alexis:
    Chase your dreams not boys. I wish someone had told me this but boys don't like to be chased. They like to chase. If you are disinterested they will find you.

    Embrace your hair. Hair can be a funny thing with us girls - we want it to be something that it isn't and it leads to a lot of bad haircuts, bad dye jobs, bad bangs (need I say more?). Fighting waves and curls or trying to add them is futile.

    Sit in the third row of classes - it's the perfect location to not look to eager but you're close enough to be forced to pay attention.

    When your car is overheating turn on the heat and roll down the windows - it helps long enough to get you to a safe pull off.

  8. Hmm ...

    1. Some people have skinny heads but thick bodies.

    2. DC is far superior to Pittsburgh.

  9. Alexis:

    Your mom will know if you sneak out of the house with boys. Moms just know these things.

    Your friends in high school most likely won't be your friends after that. It's sad, but it's normal and okay.

    Penguins rule.

  10. Anonymous8:07 AM


    1. Your mommy knows everything. All mommies know everything. My mom told me this a long time ago and it is true. Even when your mom seems like she doesn't know anything, remember that she actually knows everything. Also, mommies are always right. When you are a mommy you'll understand.

    2. Don't plan your life around a boy. If the boy is worth it, he will fit to your plan. If he insists that you plan your life around him, he is not worth it and doesn't deserve you.

    3. Don't mess with Mother Nature. She's a smart cookie, that one. She's a mother. She knows everything, and she's bigger than you. Don't mess with her. Love that she gives you pretty flowers, sunny days, and puddles to splash in, and she'll send you more flowers, sunny days and puddles. She's cool like that.

    4. Oh ya, and Pittsburgh is a wonderful place. It is your home and it will always be your home. Explore the world, see the sights, but don't forget your home. You're a Burgh girl, little lady. And you always will be. No matter where you go, or how far you roam, Pittsburgh and the people here that love you will always welcome you home.

  11. Alexis,

    Always have girl friends. Don't have girl friends who play games with you, though -- have real girl friends who will be there for you when the boy breaks your heart (it will probably happen at least once), who will laugh with you (not at you), who will support you and not judge you. You probably won't find these friends until high school or college (if you're lucky, both). They will be your friends forever, regardless of marriage, children, and distance.


  12. ShanLin10228:39 AM


    1. Family is always first, BUT always look out for yourself. Make yourself happy. Even if that means disappointing a few people along the way.

    2. You will slowly realize you've turned into your mother, could be scary, could be ok. Just accept it and realize that she is human too.

    3. Jump at any and every chance that is given to you. You don't want to live your life with regrets.

    4. Moms know EVERYTHING. Seriously.

    5. Learn how to change a tire.

  13. Anonymous8:51 AM

    1. You can judge a worthy man by how he treats his mother and grandmother. If he loves and respects her without letting her run his life, he will love and respect you without being a weak-willed weanie.

    2. If you're going to consume something every day, it might as well be good. Don't drink crappy coffee. However, don't drink that $60/lb coffee that was 'pre-treated' by a cat's digestive system. That's just weird.

  14. 1. The 'Burgh is the best city - especially when the Steelers are winning. You'll never see a sports team effect the overall mood of a city more than in Pittsburgh.

    2. Relationships aren't always easy but they shouldn't be *that* hard and you should never have to do all the work to keep it going.

    3. Sometimes girls suck. Always have friends who are boys too.

    4. Your momma is right. About almost everything. Especially about happiness being a choice.

    5. Never, ever close on your house and plan to move into it a few hours later. That is effing crazy - so many things can go wrong.

  15. 1. High school isn't the end all be all- those popular girls get fat and ugly, the jocks will always be dumb, and the geeks now rule the world.

    2. Always ask. The worst anyone can say is no!

  16. 1. Pittsburgh will always be home, but go and see as much as you can. You can really learn a lot about yourself when you're 4000 miles from home, don't have a cell phone and can't speak the local language.

    2. Don't let anyone tell you high school is the best four years of your life. If you've already had the best four years of your life by the time you're 18, that's really pretty sad. Try and make every year one of the best of your life.

    3. Remember that the vast majority of things that are SO important now (when you're old enough to be reading this) won't be in a week, a month, or a year.

    4. You're never too old to nap.

    5. Mom's hugs can put the world back in order when everything seems upsidedown and backwards. Get as many of those hugs as you possibly can.

  17. to #5, I'd add a swiss army knife and some WD40.

  18. i haven't read all of the other ones, but truly:

    1) no matter how "laura ingalls like" you will one day feel your mom dresses you- (because most of us go through this) try to see your mom for the amazing woman she is, always. Even when you are mad at her. (because most of us forget to do this.)

    2) WEAR SUNSCREEN. ALWAYS. Religiously. And then use more.

  19. Alexis:

    remember to be yourself and don't apologize for it. If you are into sports, don't let the girly girls tease you and if you are a girly girl, don't let the sports freak tease you.

    remember your mother is always right. She will always be there with the answers whenever you need her.

    treat others as you want to be treated and not how others are treating them.

    Smile. Don't be afraid to smile every day, but do it at least once a day.

    Always use sunscreen. Don't go to tanning beds and don't lay out just because everyone else is tan. You will regret it later.

  20. Alexis:

    1 - Ditto the mom thing, they are smarter than they seem sometimes.

    2 - Explore the world for a bit at some point (right after college is a good fit), it will make you appreciate your family more when you move closer again (and you should definitely move back)

    3 - Go to a college at least 2 hours away from home, it will force you to make new friends and find new experiences. Especially boys - don't remain attached to a high school boyfriend while you are at a different college - this usually ends in heartache.

    4 - Don't change yourself to be someone that you think others want you to be - you will end up not liking yourself in the end - believe me on this one. Be confident in who you are!

    5 - Give new activities and sports a serious try and if you don't like it, it really is ok to quit and do something that you really love. You don't have to continue because one of your friends is involved.

    6 - High school girls (well girls in general) can be mean - it's not you it's them.


  21. Alexis,

    Listen to your Mom, she's a pretty smart lady.

    Learn to change a tire, and windshield wipers, and an air filter. Learn basic home repair stuff too, simple things that will save you a lot of money in the long run.

    Don't ever be afraid to be the smart girl, the girl who would rather read the book and then go see the movie. Some boys are intimidated by smart women, those men are not worth your time.

    Your Father will never like any boy you bring home, thats a fact. If your Mother does not like him, listen to her. Mothers know. They just do.

  22. Alexis--No commenters were compensated for saying that you should listen to me. It's just a fact.

  23. Anonymous12:40 PM


    Here is some advice from a girl that bleeds black and gold.

    1. Never ever wear a pink steeler jersey or any form of pink sporting attire. It might look cute but it really isn't.

    2. Do not judge a man by the things he says but by what he actually does. It took me a very long time to realize that.

    3. Friends don't let friends drink and take home ugly men. Please remember that.

    4. Be your own person and not follow the crowd.

    5. Have a few close guy friends they come in handy sometimes.

    6. Your mom rocks! During your teenage years and even in your 20's you might not think that. However, one day you will become good friends.

    Okay, I do have a few more but I was warned to keep this PG.

    Heather (aka Fedder)

  24. Anonymous1:38 PM

    1. Don't sweat the petty and don't pet the sweaty.

    2. When you love someone, love them with every ounce of your body. And know that doing so will probably break your heart at least once, but you will grow and learn and become so much stronger for having done so.

    3. Stand-up for what you believe in.

    4. If it is wet and it didn't come from you, don't touch it.

    5. Don't waste time with regrets - it is never to late to make a change.

    Good luck on Friday!

  25. Hey Alexis...

    -Remember that while you can't always decide or change the circumstances or situations, you CAN decide how you react. Being positive is a choice.

    -Don't ever tell a boyfriend that you're more important than football practice. Doing that, with a boy who is serious about his football and his future, will soon find yourself without that boyfriend.

    -Conversely.... if you encourage and support your athlete boyfriend, you will find yourself the most loved and treasured girlfriend EVER.

    -Volunteer whenever you get the chance.

    -It's okay to marry someone just like your dad.

  26. Katie2:13 PM

    1. If you have to wonder if he's Mr. Right -- he's not. When you find Mr. Right, you'll just KNOW.

    2. Find a way to confront and work through your differences with your husband/partner. Ignoring them will not make them go away, it only makes them fester and that's never good.

    3. Not everyone works through their problems with their husband/partner the same way -- so if someone tells you you need to X, Y, or Z and you dont' think it'll work it's okay to ignore them.

    4. You're never too old (or young) to learn something new.

  27. Alexis:

    1. Let all that you do be done in love.
    2. You cannot control other people, only YOUR reaction to those people (this has saved my sanity and my marriage multiple times in recent years).
    3. It's true: You're never too old for naps, but you can sleep when you're old! Live as much as you can while you're young!
    4. Smile as much as you can. Even if you don't feel like it for yourself, pass it along to someone else. There is ALWAYS someone who has it worse than you. And your smile? Is infectious!
    5. Take pictures. Of yourself. Of those you love. And if you're ever at Disney World (or other touristy place), offer to take a picture for the person holding the camera for a group - so they can be included. You won't be sorry.

  28. Alexis,

    Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

    Nickname your strawberry mark and embrace it

    Get your parents to tell you stories and show you videos of your childhood. Or just read this blog. You'll be amazed at how cute and tiny you were, and how much you were adored

  29. Alexis,

    You will never truly know how much your mother loves you until you have a child of your own. Really.

    Be careful what you say and/or do to your mother. You'll get it back from your own kids two fold.

    Enjoy life. Every day. But keep your level head at all times.

    Take risks. They're fun :)

  30. Miss Alexis,

    Never eat a bag of sour cream and onion chips and drink a carton of chocolate milk together on one night. It will make you VERY sick. I learnt this the hard way when I was about eight years old and thirty odd years later I still remember it.

    Oh, and no matter what your Mom tells you, Toronto, Canada is where you want to be.:)

    Hugs little one.

  31. The best thing I ever taught my daughter....
    Doctors and Dentists lie, it will hurt but you are stronger than they know.

  32. Wow. These comments are fantastic!! And I'm not going to lie, I *may* steal all of them for something I'm planning for the niece/god-daughter....

  33. Anonymous9:06 AM

    I am going to let you in on a few secrets that my mother NEVER told me! Well, she did after the fact! 1) Enjoy school. Be a popular nerd. Be kind to everyone and do not stop at High school. You go Girl! Go to University (right away..don't wait...go right after High school)I don't think I can stress this enough to my little Hannah. I waited. I am now 31 years old going to college. It is WAY harder! Read your books, dont just skim for answers..Its amazing how much more you learn when you read! If your friends are talking bad about someone else..point out something good about them..all of them..enject positivity wherever you can..and if someone is talking bad about you...They are Jealous! Take comfort in knowing that you are better than that and who wouldn't be a little jealous of you right! 2) Boys. Oh Alexis! There is plenty of time in life to worry about boys! Do not ever settle for anything less than what is perfect for you. And when you are dating a boy and something in your guts tells you that something just isn't right...RUN...don't stick around. Dont ever date a boy just cause he's cute! This never works! Boys and men should work..If they lose a job..they should be out searching day 1 and should be pounding the pavement till he gets a new job. Don't date a slacker! I tell Hannah now that Ambition is so much cuter! His ambition and drive for success is what will help to take care of you...not his killer abs. Give that little less attractive than Brad Pitt (You'll read about him in some history book one day) guy a chance. 3) Be yourself. Dont ever try to change for someone. You will learn alot about this in High school. Don't conform to what everyone else is what you want to do. From what your mommy tells us everyday..You are fantastic just the way you are! Your mom will rasie you well and you'll know what is right from wrong..Listen to her! She knows! You may not think she gets you at times or she just doesn't understand...but Alexis, she does! Talk openly with her. (Even about the embarrassing stuff) More than likely your mom experienced the same thing and will be able to give you guidence. Always have an open and honest relationship with your mom and dad..Oh! and don't try to pit those two against each other...They are smarter than that. If mom says no, don't run to dad, you're mom has already gotten to him.

  34. She may never need this advice, but just in case... Potty training boys is REALLY hard. Don't force it, don't get overly upset about it, don't try to be on anyone else's time-line as to when it "SHOULD" happen. Just do the best you can with it know that it WILL eventually happen. (p.s. this could possible be applied to a few other things in life...) : )

  35. Your mama's probably right about Pittsburgh being the best place to live, but I must amend it. First, live someplace you've always thought would be the most exciting place on earth. I don't mean Orlando and the Mouse - been there, done that. Once you're tired of living someplace you THOUGHT would be exciting, THEN move back where you're close to family and friends. Never underestimate living close to people who love you.

  36. Anonymous11:12 AM

    1. Your parents are awesome. There will be many times, especially during high school, when you wonder how you ended up with these parents - they are too strict, old school, boring, etc - but once you are grown up you will realize they are awesome and the most influential people in your life.

    2. Don't care about what other people think of you. This will be very hard in high school. But seriously, the people that were carefree and always thought you have to grow old, but not grow up - everyone else envies them. So be like that. Continue to see the world through the eyes of child throughout your life.

    3. Pittsburgh is awesome. It has community, great food, and great sports teams. Even if the Pirates don't win as often as we would like, I lived in a city with no pro sports teams for 3.5 yrs and it was awful. Don't take that for granted. And everyone always wants to leave Pgh and once they do, they try their hardest to get back. Just do yourself a favor and don't leave. (well, college doesn't count. But when its time to grow up and get a job - don't leave the burgh just because...)

  37. The Truth:
    The Sports Mama said...

    -Remember that while you can't always decide or change the circumstances or situations, you CAN decide how you react. Being positive is a choice.

    I'm still trying to apply that one to my life all the time.

    1) You're never to old to act your shoe size...

    2) But don't be stupid.

    3) If you're good at something and like doing it then by all means continue doing it. Don't worry what other people say about you. (unless the thing you're doing is illegal, then you better stop before your mom finds out)

    4) Random acts of kindness for family/friends/strangers work wonders for the soul

    5) What's done is done. Don't fret over it but never forget. Your past is who you are. Grow from it.

  38. Alexis- Never go anywhere without a book. if you ever get stood up, you can easily pull your book out and enjoy your time by yourself.

    friends will stand you up, and hurt your feelings. forgive them once, but don't allow it to happen continuously- those people are not friends.

    never miss a chance to dance in the rain. even when you're old and people tell you it's silly. do it. stay young.

    live alone. be it in college, or afterwards. just enjoy a place of your own before tying yourself to someone else.

    never be ashamed of things you like. I'm 28 and still love Disney movies, Twilight series, and rolling down hills. I'll always be young at heart, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    Therapy is not a bad thing. it takes a strong person to admit they need help. I would have been much better off if I realized that sooner.

    Moms aren't perfect. but they have perfect love for you always, and can be pretty awesome too.

    at least once in your life, eat frosting right out of the can.

  39. alexis,

    Don't lie to your mom. if you do something wrong/bad, lying makes it worse. (although sometimes the sin of omission is just fine, cuz we don't *always* want to know everything!)

    plus, your mom is your best advocate and she will always stand by you.

    and? dance like no one is watching ...

  40. Alexis,

    You won't understand this until you are a mom yourself, but believe me: Moms can fix everything. Even if she can't really fix it, just telling her about your problem will make you feel better. And while you might be overwhelmed by that thought when you're a mom, it's humbling and wonderful too - knowing you can fix everything with just a hug. Pure magic.

    Don't be afraid to be smart. NEVER dummy yourself down for anyone. Smart chicks always win in the end.

    You're never too "grown-up" to have fun. Laugh always. Listen to children. Don't be afraid to admit you're wrong.

    Never settle. That is not the same as not compromising.