Sunday, July 19

The Move Part 1 of Whenever I Get Bored of Writing about It

I repeat: If Suck were an Olympic sport, moving would win the gold every four years. We had decent plans for how we would manage to load everything we owned onto a truck one day, and then unload it the next day. We intended to spend all day last Thursday hauling junk out of the townhouse and into the truck. Except, "We" turned into "He" because "Me" ended up spending the entire morning at the new house waiting for the water to get turned on. Except, "She" from the water authority was wrong when she said the water was off--it was actually already on, so "Me" spent two hours hanging out with our Realtor for no reason whatsoever.

By the time that giant chasm of time suck ended, "Me" had to run a few essential errands and then go to work. Yes, go to work. It was only for an hour, but by the time all the Not Helping was done, it was 3:30 and Mr. Husband had been stuck working by himself for a very long time.

He was positively giddy about it, too. If by "giddy" I actually mean in a really, really, really, really foul mood.

I probably didn't help that mood when I pointed out that only one person in this family should be putting money on games of Tetris, and it isn't him. I'm still really confused how the stuff from a 1000 square foot townhouse wouldn't fit in the back of a 26-foot moving truck, but I fully intent to find Tetris for Wii because I now know that I can slay Mr. Husband at fitting lots of things neatly into a perfectly square.

Anyway, when 2:00am rolled around, most everything was loaded, but I was still in the yard digging up plants that I refused to leave behind. I'm sure the neighbors LOVED that. Ever try to dig quietly? It's HARD, yo. I don't know how grave robbers do it because I know every time I launched the shovel into the ground and slammed into a rock, the resulting *CLANG* was loud enough to wake the dead.

When morning came, two hours after we finished murdering plants with shovels, we were reminded that kids like to prey on the weak. Alexis was ready for action, and we were ready to crawl into one of those empty graves. She was insistent that she not go to school, and instead go play at the new house. Only thing was that we had two closings to deal with, so the odds of her having fun while with us were somewhere between No Way in Hell and Not a Chance. Unless she gets some sort of secret joy from hearing the words, "Sign here," she really was best off enjoying life in the company of all of her bestest friends. If we hadn't been so sleep-deprived, we might have been able to get our point across with significantly less effort. As it was, dropping her off at daycare felt like the biggest Herculean feat of all time. I mean, it was harder than giving birth to the child. There was definitely more screaming involved.

What? I'm not allowed to scream when I drop the kid off? Whatever.

I blame "She" for making "Me" waste time.

Or something.

18 comments:

  1. Because I KNOW someone is going to ask, NOOOO that is not our dog. We have two. Two is plenty. It might even be two too many. The gold/brown dog is Cooper, and he came over to help us unpack. Lazy creature went and hung out on the couch instead. Such a typical male . . .

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  2. Get some sleep, woman! At some point ...

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  3. She sure looks comfy there :)

    Hoping for less Suck from our move, but I doubt it. heh.

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  4. I hate moving so while I am sorry for all the suck you are dealing with- I am happy it isn't me. Yeah, I'm good like that :) I can't wait to hear more adventures from the moving while sleep deprived!

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  5. Egad. I hate moving. And now you've really scared me. We'll be doing the same thing in a month or so.
    Hope the rest of the process goes much more smoothly for you!

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  6. I don't think we "knew" each other back when we made the move to TN. We were FINALLY loaded and ready to go. Go meaning hubby driving a slightly unstable truck 600 miles while Sabrina and I were safe and comfy in the car. We got the truck stuck in the street trying to get out of the drive. I mean stuck IN THE ROAD. Our drive was downhill (go figure - a hill in the burgh) while the street was uphill. The hitch of the heavy truck loaded with 90% of our stuff (because hubby didn't listen and get the big truck so it didn't all fit) was buried in the asphalt. Truck stuck. Had to hire a tow truck (the big expensive kind that can pull semis) to get the truck unstuck. Yea, that was a good day.

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  7. And honestly the house we are currently renting is fine but I hate the configuration so I would never buy this floor plan - but I've been tempted to offer to buy it just so that I don't have to move ever again.

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  8. She almost gets lost amongst the dogs in there.

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  9. I can attest that moving sucks big-time. But hey, at least you get to stay in the same city! ; ) Hope the rest goes smoothly...

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  10. I was all over that whole extra dog on the couch thing! I'm glad you cleared that up! I thought you had lost your mind a little and got another puppy!

    Good luck with this whole moving thing, it sucks.

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  11. You must be totally exhausted! Hope you can find the ottoman and put your feet up on it soon!

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  12. I think you need homebaked cookies. Seriously. I'll even freeze them first so the chocolate chips aren't melted (fingers crossed!) when they reach you.

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  13. everyone needs a couch full of dogs. :)

    i hate moving...

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  14. Good thing you clarified. I thought you picked up a little something extra in your errands in town. Your two dogs look happy to have a new friend.

    I hope you get caught up on sleep, but I'm guessing not with all the unpacking facing you.

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  15. I'll burn you a copy of the old Monty Python video game (for PCs), which features the "Bring Out Your Dead" version of Tetris. It's tougher because every now and then you get a live one who squiggles.

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  16. Ok, so far it sounds like a wonderful move! My thoughts are with you!

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  17. Yes, moving is le suck. Mercifully, from this point forward, some poor bastards will be paid by Uncle Sam to pack our crap for us. I have moved three times in the last 7 years. Good times.

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  18. Total suckage! Moving is never easy, but that sounds REALLY bad!

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