Monday, July 20

Part 2 of I'm Not Quite Bored of It Yet

Armed with an eclectic shopping list and a very tiny budget, Alexis and I set our sights on the only store that fit the bill--IKEA. There is nowhere else on Earth where you can shop for a fridge, towels, furniture, rugs, lights, storage junk, and cinnamon rolls and somehow manage to leave with a few pennies in your pocket. It's an invitation to a trip to the insane asylum when you try to assemble your cheap crap, but the cinnamon rolls pretty much make up for that. Sort of.

We walked up and down the aisles, me gawking at every organizational wonder known to man. I don't know why little cubbies for dresser drawers that keep your socks from touching your undies is so exciting to me, but there you go. I am an organizational wonder geek-extraordinaire.

We grabbed some whatsits, some whosits, and some thingamajigs, and then headed towards the toys. There are a few things that I would like to add to Alexis' playroom some day, and it never hurts to start price comparing early (Right? RIGHT.). Alexis totally missed the swing that can be hung indoors from the ceiling (only $15!), the easel that would fill her little artist heart with joy (only $25!), and the super-cute table and chair set that would perfectly match her play kitchen (only $50!) and instead focused intently on a stuffed Bulldog. That we already have. I don't even know why we have it, considering we have a real-life smelly version of a Bulldog. Alexis followed me around, pleading for the Bulldog that she already owns, while I expertly ignored every word that came out of her mouth.

We headed towards the bathroom junk, and I started fondling towel racks and funky shelves and trash cans and mirrors and all sorts of stuff that shouldn't be fun but totally is. Alexis finally decided that she was wasting her breath on the Bulldog begging and instead started singing and dancing in the aisle.

As I dug through never-ending shelves filled with oddly-named trinkets, Alexis paused in her jiggity jig to start asking what things were. I opted to answer her by telling her the IKEA name for the thing, and she started giggling over words like "Semvik," "Fryken," and "Gruntdal." That was followed by her starting to create her own names for things. She made up words like, "Fartna," "Boogerka," and "Slogna."

As she continued to giggle at her own jokes, she reached down and grabbed a toilet paper holder. She held it up for me to see, locked eyes with me, and said in a stone-cold serious tone, "Momma, this will change your life."

Seriously.

Either someone has been watching too much High School Musical, or IKEA has the kid on the bankroll. I hope it's the latter because that employee discount sure would come in handy right about now.

17 comments:

  1. i love ikea. i just never admit to it.

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  2. i need to know if you bought the toilet paper holder. and if it changed your life already of if these things take time.

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  3. The Fartna will change your life for sure.

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  4. HA! Kids are awesome.

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  5. IKEA is my happy place (OK, one of my happy places). Don't knock the Scandinavian magic! Oh and the number of pieces to your furniture is directly proportional to the number of glasses of wine needed. Not to assemble, but to be able to stand the husband's attempts to assemble, lousy abilities with tools, refusal to give up and just let me do it, and to fix what damage he has done in the meantime...

    Cute cute!!

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  6. I love the crazy stuff kids come up with...

    I overheard one of mine telling the other "No, that's not how I roll. THIS is how I roll."

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  7. Alexis is dead on. I have a toilet paper roll from Ikea and it did change my life!

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  8. That is hilarious. Although, she has a point.
    I can never get out of that store without spending my life savings. I should forever be banned from IKEA.

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  9. Haha--oh man, she would make the best salesperson. If her cute little self told me that something would change my life I would buy it.

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  10. You've trained her well, mamacita. From dancing in the aisles to making up silly names to pulling out all the stops to get...well, a tp holder. Two outta three ain't bad, and she had at least the delivery down pat!

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  11. I LOVE IKEA and now the closest one is 3 hrs. away. Boo.

    So, did you get the tp holder that "will change your life"? HA HA HA!

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  12. Ohmygosh she is hysterical! I would've cracked up at Fartna, but that might say something about my sense of humor. Love that kid!

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  13. *snort*

    Gawd I love Ikea. That reminds me ... it's about time to make a trip to Ikea, again.

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  14. I love Ikea. Really, almost as much as my Dyson. It isn't healthy. I am convinced my husband picked TN to move to because there is no Ikea. On our second date, I drove to the 'Burgh to meet him. We met in the Ikea parking lot because it was the only place I knew how to get to without fail in the 'Burgh.

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  15. Adorable!

    I wish we had an IKEA closer than 30-40 minutes away. I might have to make the trek anyway, especially since I've never been to an IKEA store.

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  16. We bought that fun swing that you hang in your house. And then before we were even out of the city we returned it because we envisioned the kids pushing each other into walls with it.

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