Tuesday, August 25

Blah, Blah, Blah. I Still Think They're Ugly.

I don't care what anyone says, Crocs are fugly. Actually, that would be an insult to the fugly of the world. Crocs are hideous, horrendous, awful, and quite possibly the most repulsive shoes ever invented. I'm sure Lady Gaga could find something even uglier, but if we're limiting the conversation to shoes worn by actual humans, Crocs win the Ugly Contest. By a mile.

But.

I do see a purpose in them. Not for me, of course. I'd rather wear concrete blocks shaped like Dora's head on my feet than a pair of Crocs, but they do make sense for people who work on their feet all day. They also make sense for kids. They're comfortable, they can be cheap, and the whole thing where you can take a hose to them when your kid yaks on her feet after overdosing on Tootsie Rolls is pretty darn sweet.

Last year Alexis pretty much lived in a couple of different pairs of Crocs. They were outlet store clearance acquisitions, so as much as looking at them made me sporky, my cheap side won out on the deal.

This year I returned to the Crocs Outlet with Alexis in tow, figuring I would let her pick out a few more pair. This is the first summer that she has been full-time with the "big" kids at daycare, so it's the first time I've really had to worry about the no open-toed shoes rule that was instituted after some wonderful child managed to rip a toenail off while playing on the big kid playground. As much as it drives me nuts that the answer to one little accident is to ban open-toed shoes completely (Gee, I heard a kid once fell off a swing and got hurt--maybe we should just ban all swings everywhere. OR NOT.), it's not really a rule worth fighting. If kids show up wearing open-toed shoes, they are banished to staying indoors with the little kids. I may enjoy letting my kid torture other people, but I don't enjoy it that much. It's simpler just to make the kid wear close-toed shoes. Crocs fit the bill.

Somehow the stars aligned and those new Crocs weren't really making it into the daily shoe rotation. Instead, tennis shoes and ballet flats seemed to be getting the kid through summer. At some point, I even went so far as to pack up the Crocs while I was packing up shoes that weren't actively being worn. A few days ago I finally unpacked them.

Holy strong reaction, Batman!

Alexis looked at the Crocs.

Alexis looked at me.

Alexis looked at the Crocs.

Alexis looked at me.

Alexis started bawling.

"I don't wanna wear Crocs!" she wailed.

"Why not?" I asked. I don't really know why I ask these things. Usually they answer is just plain ridiculous.

"I don't wanna wear Crocs!" she wailed again.

"Your friends like to wear Crocs," I replied. (Yeah, I know. I need punched for that line. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. Besides, it's 100% true. Trouble, for example, wears Crocs almost every day.)

"I DON'T WANNA WEAR CROCS!" Alexis repeated. Louder.

"Your tennis shoes are dirty and I can't find your ballet shoes. Just wear the Crocs," I insisted.

"But they make my feet ugly," Alexis wailed.

She has a point, but how did she get to be so smart?

36 comments:

  1. My oldest has one pair of Crocs, which he received as a gift, and a pair of knock offs from Target that look like LIghtning McQueen. They are our "mommy's in a hurry and doesn't want to mess with putting real shoes on your feet, now come on let's go!!" emergency back up shoes. The last school my boys were at banned both crocs and open toed shoes. Luckily I found pairs of close toed sandals for both of them to wear this summer because holy crap, do boys' feet smell after being in tennis shoes all day during the summer. Naaaassssssteeeee!

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  2. alexis finally saw the light.

    too bad for you.

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  3. She is one smart cookie! I feel the same way about crocs. I had a pair for Eva last year and she wanted nothing to do with them. While clearing out a bunch of our old baby stuff to take to my preggo sister I came upon them and put them in the "give" pile. Kiddo was SO mad that she couldn't get them on her feet (but kept trying). I had to hide them when she wasn't looking before smuggling them out of the house. Hopefully next summer she'll go back to hating them.

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  4. LOL This is just hilarious. They aren't cute by any means but the comfort level makes it worth it to me. When I was pregnant and thought my sciatic nerve was going to be the DEATH of me, the only thing that saved me were my CROCS! Anytime I have back pain and can barely take two steps, I put those suckers on and I can walk again. It's like UGLY MAGIC!

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  5. I have some 'faux' ones that I wear outside for putzing in the garden, etc. But otherwise, no way. But my son does LOVE his pair in the summer and they are practical.

    I simply LOVE her reaction AND that photo.

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  6. hahaha just when you've finally accepted the hideous things, the kid wises up. i tried to accept them last summer because they were comfy but the ridicule i was receiving was nowhere near worth it. 22 year old males are brutal when it comes to judging their female friends' fashion choices, i'll tell ya what.

    good thing alexis got out of the croc phase early.

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  7. They have a Crocs OUTLET?!

    My favorite is when you go on vacation and make the mistake of entering one of the beach shops where they sell the damn things you stick in your Croc Hole (snicker). Then you spend what feels like HOURS deciding on the perfect character, rainbow, letter blah blah blah to adorn your Crocs with.

    I don't harbor any great resentment to the Croc Nation but they do make me cringe and have spooky junior high memories of watching all the girls in their neon jelly shoes with matching bracelets, rings, hair things etc etc etc.

    I'll keep my Tevas. Stop it.

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  8. Nick absolutley loves his (easy to get on & off and they are black - they go with anything!) but wowza do they get his feet dirty when playing outside. ICK.

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  9. @James Bainbridge--The outlets in Washington have a Crocs store. There are actually (this is scary, I know) EXPENSIVE Crocs in there. Like, $35-$55 ones that don't really look like Crocs. Designer Crocs, if you will. But, there is also a huge wall of cheap ones, which is where I found Alexis 3 different pairs that were $5 or less per pair.

    Oh, and jelly shoes? Still rock.

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  10. Sasha LOOOVES his electric orange crocks. And I actually have the practical me winning out in accepting them. Kids who are pukers. Kids who are potty training and poop down their leg (into their shoes) . Kids who like to run thru sprinklers...they kinda need something like crocs.
    And I have a pair too. Bright green. They're my "keep in car for when the 4 inch stilletos have killed my feet" shoes.

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  11. Oh my word, what an awesome picture!

    Oh, and Crocs. Yeh, not the hugest fan of the holes in my rubber footwear. I don't even wear them to the kennel. (Because, duh.) But I do, however, wear rubber clogs and am in lurve with them. A lot. I (mostly) refrain from wearing them in public though. The fair doesn't count as public. Neither does the feed mill.

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  12. You realize that all your Google ads changed to Crocs now, right?! Which is funny, considering you said they are ugly and your kid hates them.

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  13. Anonymous9:46 AM

    I agree on the hated and dreaded crocs. I think they are weird and ugly and horrible and I honestly couldn't believe that this summer I bought my son a pair! ( Nor could my extremely surprised husband since I bitched oh so much about how much I hate them) Then...they gave my lil guy horrible, and I mean horrible blisters on both of his feet. I was very happy to throw them in the trash and go back to Hating them with a capital H once again.

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  14. I agree. Crocs are f*cking ugly! I'd never wear them... but my boys LIVE in them in the summer. We have a lot. They are easy to put on and off, they are great if they get wet, etc. And luckily for me, I have sons - so they're not going to really complain about them being ugly!
    But that is so cute and fashion forward of your little girl! :) She's a sweetie.

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  15. My daughter is 21 and the last time we went shoe shopping she asked me: "Do these sneakers make my feet look fat". No she was not kidding in the least, she was actually dead serious. I just shook my head, speechless. Who does that? worries about shoes making their feet look fat? (Hugs)Indigo

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  16. LOL...all Crocs are ugly with the exception of the Cypress. :) Love your wise little one.

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  17. Alexis is not allowed to play with BB and LB until someone else tells them that they're ugly. It's true, of course. They're hideous. BUT! It's so true that they're easy. To put on. To take off. To clean. And I just don't want to deal with other shoes in the summer. I mean, I'm the barefoot queen.

    Me? Never wear them. Them? Yes please.

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  18. I will DIE the day my kiddos refuse Crocs! They are so darn easy...keep Alexis away from Miss Peach...she is still drinking the Crocs Kool Aid.

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  19. I HATE crocs, too! So glad Alexis realized the horrendous fashion statement they make!!!

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  20. I ahve a pair of crocs, I have never worn them out of the house! Good for you Alexis!

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  21. Crocs are UGLY. U.G.L.Y.

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  22. Ha ha ha ha!!! Please tell me you hugged her and gave her a cookie. :)

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  23. @Katie--I might have struggled to contain my glee before stomping off to keep looking for her ballet flats.

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  24. So the brainwashing is starting to work!??!?! :)

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  25. I love my fake crocs. I have never paid more than $5 for a pair. I have red, black, yellow and blue.

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  26. Crocs are so ugly that they're a fashion statement. I love mine. Okay, they're just ugly. But they're the most comfortable shoes I own.

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  27. Hehe, my eldest refuses to wear them this year too!

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  28. ha ha ha.
    Nate's camo crocs are his favorite things in the world. He's a hunting, fishing man and he's all about comfort.. so, there.
    I covet the black hot boots that Crocs make, wow.

    I love that kid of yours. That pic.. damn. Can I come follow you around and just bask in your awesomeness? Please?

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  29. Too funny. Crocs are definitely ugly. I LOVE this pic of your daughter...so sweet!

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  30. Both Cooper and Maren have a pair of Mickey Crocs courtesy of my mom. They are only allowed to wear them to the pool or when playing in the water out back. I have a pair of the cheap knock-offs left over from the days of spending 12-hours on my feet at the hospital - they were the only shoes that could make it through the whole night without making me want to amputate my feet, and they can be thrown in the dishwasher - SCORE!

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  31. Oh so smart, and oh so challenging! It will only get worse as sgets older.

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  32. I have a love/hate relationship with those shoes. Ever since I had my first child I've had horrible foot problems. Crocs are about the only thing I can wear that doesn't hurt my feet along with my tennis shoes, which I get tired of wearing too. Yet, I don't like how unattractive they are. I am glad they are coming out with cuter styles so maybe I can leave the house without being mortified. I do love them for my kids though - so easy to put on/take off, wash easily, can get wet, etc.

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  33. I think crocs ae kinda cute on little kids... but I'm glad Alexis already has her own opinions on fashion! She marches to her own drummer!

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  34. Anonymous11:49 PM

    I think grown up crocs are ugly, but little crocs are so cute, my little toddler has a pair and she loves them and they are so cute on her! That picture is AWESOME! I wish I could take great pictures like that!

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  35. Anonymous11:49 PM

    I like those things you stick in them too, my girl has butterflies :)

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  36. Not only are they ugly but in the UK they cost £35 - for rubber shoes! Someone is having a laugh!

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