Monday, August 24

I'll Be the Chick with the Two Black Eyes

I fell asleep next to Mr. Husband, but when I woke up, I realized I had gone to bed with The Devil.

Tom Brady.

Just typing that name gives me the shakes. Not the Oooooh, He's So Cute! Shakes, but rather the I Don't Have Enough Sporks to Dull the Pain! Shakes. Right now, I hate myself.

A lot.

Yes, I drafted Tom Brady in one of my fantasy football leagues. I don't know what came over me when that moment of insanity seared through my blood, but this morning it hit me: I suck. Hard. I am now going to spend football season alternating between wishing for Brady to be crushed under a bloody pool of humanity and squeeing after he throws a touchdown.

I might have to punch myself in the face for squeeing after a touchdown. True story.

So, here's the plan: The Patriots are going to have this amazing high-scoring offense this year, but their defense is going to suck harder than a Dyson.

Shoosh. It could totally go down like that.

19 comments:

  1. Football season already, eh? Umm-hmm . . . So, Alexis looks like she's got a bit of 'tude going on with that walk there!

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  2. I know nothing about fantasy football, and if possible, even less about actual football, so I am not sure what to say about Tom Brady. I am, however, aware of who his wife is . . . she needs to eat a sandwich and wipe that smug "I'm better than you" look from her face. Maybe someone will curse her with an epidural that doesn't work when Tom Jr. enters the world.

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  3. All I see here in this post is blah blah blah Tom Brady blah blah blah pretty picture. I will just have to sleep through your fantasy football posts... Wait... here I go... zzzzzzzzzzzz

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  4. I know the feeling. I set up my hockey draft 2 seasons ago to pick Crosby. I had first pick, it was all set and OH NO! I had Crosby in the "do not draft" list instead of the draft list! With the first pick in the draft I picked... OVECHKIN. It worked out in the end, though, because Crosby missed half the season with that ankle injury. And I won the league. Now the boys don't let me play in their hockey league anymore...

    You did get a decent 3rd QB, right? Chicken Legs Brady might be broken again soon.

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  5. Last year I got to join a fantasy football league with hubbys work, in order to make it even. I had lst pick of everyone, wound up second place overall. Its not first, but I took it. Now this year, the boys won't let me play. Booo! Good luck with your team. As long as your scoring doesn't interfere with the Steelers, it's all Good.

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  6. That was LAST pick, not lst. Just to clarify. :-)

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  7. to lighten the blow of that love/extreme hate fantasy pick - that picture is beyond adorable :)

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  8. I love fantasy sports, but I live by the rule that real life always trumps fantasy sports. I will never root for my enemies. Never. If I am forced to draft them then I will take the approach that my rooting cannot change anything. I just have to accept what happens. It is better not to draft people you hate though.

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  9. I am GLARING AT YOU from across 1500 miles away, young lady! Just because the Steelers can only win with Brady out... ;)

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  10. Yeah. I WANT to understand, but 1) I'm new to fantasy football and 2) I hate ALL Boston teams especially and including the Pats.

    So... shame on you. LOL.

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  11. My husband loves Fantasy Football. I don't know if he's drafted his team or not yet. I should ask. But what do I know or care, I am, after all, a Detroit Lions fan.

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  12. I hope you're a scrapbooker because you have tons of pics that would look pretty bad ass in a scrapbook. Just sayin'.

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  13. I don't get Fantasy Football. Doesn't that mean you have to watch a whole lot of games that you normally wouldn't care about?!

    I think I told you that Tom Brady reminds me of my arch nemesis in elementary school, so I can hardly look at the screen when the guy is on!

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  14. @Beth--I have an empty scrapbook that I've never started because I don't ever print photos. Like, ever. Whoops!

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  15. fantasy football!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  16. I had to read this out loud to FireDad. At which point he said, "Darn* Patriots. And shame on her!"

    * = he didn't say darn.

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  17. That is a gorgeous picture. I love this one.

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  18. I don't like to use the word hate....but I do hate Tom Brady. Hated him since his days at Michigan. When Scott drafted Tome Brady as his first pick in the fantasy draft last year I had some choice words that cannot be typed here. At least I had double satisfaction when Tom Brady's season ended early...told Scott that's what you deserve for picking Brady.

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  19. @Jennifer--This year we neeeeeeed it to play out differently. The future of my pride is at stake, as I must beat a few people in the league. Namely, the Jims.

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