Thursday, October 1

At Least She Doesn't Sneak Out to Go Get a Clay Aiken Tattoo

I always joke that Alexis, at 3 years of age, is already smarter than me. Lately, she's been been making the "joke" more of a "fact."

I'm scared.

We continue to battle her over the whole staying in her bed thing. I imagine we'll be fighting that battle for several more years, because the kid just doesn't like to sleep alone. She goes weeks on end when she does really well, but then she goes weeks on end where she SUCKS. We're in a Suck Phase right now. She says it's because she can't sleep unless she's twirling my hair, but I think the truth of the matter is that she is part of a big governmental experiment to see just how far you can push a sleep-deprived and bald woman until she snaps.

She's REAL close to finding out.

Anyway, she's decided that she wants to wander to our bed earlier and earlier in the night, and has even gotten so brazen as to ask to go to sleep in there in the first place. The answer to that question is very complicated. It takes me a very long time to respond ever time she asks. After pondering it for 0.00000000001 seconds, I usually scream, "NOOOOOOOO!" in her face. Subtle, I know.

Battle. War. Battle. Fight. Battle. She's been going to bed in her own bed and staying there less than half the time.

Then last night, the evil genius figured it ALL out. She knew bed time was coming. She had already voiced her disapproval of Our Completely Unreasonable Rules. Just as I was about to drag her upstairs and chain her to her bed (Kidding. Maybe.), I realized I didn't actually know where she was. Now, it's a big house and we have doors she hasn't figured out how to open yet, so it's not like that was a panic-inducing thing. More of a curiosity. She was in the house somewhere.

I checked the basement. Nada. I checked her playroom. Nada. I checked her room. Nada.

The little brat was sleeping soundly in our bed.

Evil genius.

21 comments:

  1. ha ha, that is funny. She got you!

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  2. E.V.I.L. genius. One of these days I will have to go to war with my children and get them out of my bed (except, of course, the baby, because she is awesome and already sleeps in her own bed!) Our pediatrician suggested setting up a pallet/sleeping area for the kids in our room . . . the can come in and sleep there, but they cannot get in our bed. Yeah . . . cause that's an arguement I want to have at 3:00 in the morning. My new mantra is, "They will only be little once." I have found that if I repeat that to myself constantly, I can delay my head exploding by exactly 2.7 seconds.

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  3. We put a stop to something like that with #2, who was 5, by threatening (convincingly) to put him out into the snow. We should have dunnit much earlier. Crush them when they are young, that's my theory. (and I had 4.)

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  4. Our kids all seem to go through cycles...Three is currently in one that requires him to show up at my bedside, all sleepy-eyed and cute, at 6am. I'm lulled into a false sense of security (every morning) and pat the bed for him to join me, only to then grit my teeth through an onslaught of head-butting and stomach-jabbing. I think he only does it so I'll get out of bed and start his movie for him.

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  5. Too funny! These kids are smart. I say we rent them out to Guantanamo.

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  6. At least she went down without a fight. There's that.

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  7. Hahaha!
    On the bright side, your hair was saved!

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  8. I will have to tell my dad this story. I mean, at least I only twirled my OWN hair, right?

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  9. But on the bright side, I see she's still wearing pants!

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  10. We went through this with Shark Boy for a solid year and we were exhausted. We finally started letting the dog sleep in his room (the big dog that eats scary things of any type) and problem solved! I couldn't believe it worked.

    Now that the toddler is getting older, we may need to get another dog.

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  11. she really is a genius. and she has you guys completely wrapped ...

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  12. Smart Cookie! 3 year old's are genius's.

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  13. You should have slept in her bed then! ha ha ha

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  14. did you go sleep in her bed?

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  15. This is all sorts of awesome. Alexis rules.

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  16. Okay, I don't know how you did it, but it is NOT funny. Somehow, the same time that you post that Alexis is all "Pants! Yay! I LOVE you, Pants!", Bee has decided that pants and shorts are EVIL! And she MUST wear a dress today! Or she will just continue to scream and cry right next to my ear! Perhaps we should have a wardrobe swap?

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  17. You will probably have your hands full forever. At least she's a genius. An evil genius is better than no genius at all.

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  18. What do you do with that?! You don't want to wake a sleeping child, but she's not in her own bed. Seriously, she's an evil genius!

    And you, BBM, are supposed to be lulling me into believe that in a year my child will be sleeping better. Not that we are going to keep going through these sleep-problem phases! Lie to me!

    @Amy - Letting the dog sleep in the kids room/bed = Brilliant! Then the dog AND the child won't be hogging up our bed! I wonder how soon we can start that arrangement...

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  19. Anonymous11:14 AM

    Have you thought of getting her a bear/comfort object of some kind? Maybe she just hates sleeping alone. :C)

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  20. @Anonymous--There was a point in time when she slept with approximately eleventy bajillion stuffed animals and dolls, but lately she's been refusing to even let any of them be in her room. I think she's just a cuddler. A very serious cuddler. Daycare always proclaims her a favorite because of her love to sit in a lap and cuddle.

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