Wednesday, September 30

This is How You Jinx It. I Hope.

There are many things in life you just don't talk about. You don't bring up the fact that your parents and grandparents undoubtedly have had sex at some point in time. You don't discuss your brother's criminal record and your epic weight battles on a first date (somebody needs to tell that one to the chick at Coldstone that I overheard last weekend). You don't mention that thing you did in college involving a bicycle, handcuffs, super glue, and a guy named Enrico. You just don't.

If you're smart, you also don't talk about how your kid suddenly went from wearing dresses, dresses, and more dresses to asking to wear pants.

I'm not smart, so I guess I'll talk about it.

From the moment Alexis was old enough to string together words, she has been insisting to wear dresses. Every day. No matter what. For a while we had daily epic battles over the issue, mostly because it was reallyfreakincold degrees outside, and also partly because DUDE! I already bought those cute pants outfits. Just wear them, y'know?

Once I grew tired of being chewed out by a short person daily, I trudged over to the dark side and resorted to buying the kid dresses. Lots of dresses. The kid didn't care that her best friend wears pants all the time. She didn't care that I wear pants every. single. day. She adopted a style of her own, and she wanted to own it.

So, whatever. Bring on the overdressed toddler stage!

It lasted a good two years, probably closer to three. Every once in a while I would decide it was a good day to pick a fight and try to convince the kid to wear pants, and every time I did I was rewarded with an epic battle. It was pretty clear that the kid would rather have her legs amputated after a horrible case of frostbite than be caught with jeans on her little body. She never complained her legs were cold. She never complained that her dresses got in the way of some play. She just embraced dresses and didn't care about the minor inconveniences that went with them.

Then Saturday morning she asked to wear pants. We didn't believe her. It felt WAY too much like a trap, and we fully expected that the second pants were yanked from the waaaay back of her drawer and the dust was shaken off, she would shriek, "I don't like pants!" She's a three year-old girl. Dramatically changing her mind is what she does best.

There was no hissy fit. Instead, there was a kid who pranced around showing everyone how cute her little bum is in jeans.

Sunday rolled around, and the whole scenario played out again.

And then Monday.

And then Tuesday.

By that point in time, we had long ago exhausted every single pair of appropriately-sized pants the kid owns. In fact, the two pairs of jeans she happened to have at the time were looking a little pitiful after their little stint of constant rotation.

When Wednesday rolled around and the kid once again demanded pants, I was up a creek without a paddle. Both pairs of jeans were beyond dirty. Yet, she insisted. Finally, I dug through the pile of clothes I had stashed at the top of her closet. The stash of clothes that had been deemed Too Small.

I pulled out a navy pair of pants and slapped them on her little butt. They looked like the kid was heading towards a flood zone, but they weren't awful. I dug some more and found a shirt that kinda sorta matched the pants.

It didn't fit. As in, Alexis looked like she should bust out her best Chris Farley impersonation and start singing, "Fat girl in a little shirt." I tried to pry the tiny little piece of fabric off of her, but the kid was having none of it. She was going to wear the dang shirt.

In a show of awesome parenting, I let the kid go to school in clothes that are definitely too small. Oh well!

Now I just need to try jinxing whatever needs to be jinxed so I can figure out if this pants thing is staying. I refuse to buy the kid a single article of clothing until I have a signed contract stating that she will wear all new items at least bi-weekly.

Oh, and yes, the kid has worn that exact same pink sweatshirt pretty much daily for the past week. If you don't like it, feel free to try prying it off of her body. Go ahead, try. I'll just stand back and watch.


  1. OMG...I couldn't get Miss Peach to wear jeans, if I bribed her with a dinner party for the Disney Princesses! Nevah!

  2. My daughter is only 14 months, and thus easy to dress in whatever I prefer still, but I can definitely see us heading in this direction.

  3. OK - this is the THIRD time I've tried to write this!!

    First off, I can't get over how old Alexis looks in that photo. It's a great shot.

    Secondly, the dress/skirt phase lasted only about a year in our house (thank goodness)!

  4. Allie is at a stage where she wants to double up. Skirt over leggings. EVERY SINGLE DAY. The kid has tons of leggings and lots of skirts, but it's exhausting. Not to mention, it doubles the bottoms laundry.

  5. I love trying to convince mothers of 2-3 year old girls that they eventually get over the twirly dresses and the princess dress ups. They really do. Then somedays they wear dresses, skirts, horrendous leggings with too small tops, shorts, jeans cuffed like mom with Ugg boots, and an odd combination of at least two of those items simultaneously. Children and fashion, what life is made of.

  6. yeah. good luck with that.

  7. Did that thing with Enrico really happen to you, because if so, I'd like to hear that story next please.

  8. I actually wish that Micah could wear dresses. He's in a weird stage right now and I can't get pants to fit for love or money. Dresses are SO much easier in that department.

  9. @Nap Warden--On Friday (less than one week ago), I would have said the same thing. There was no bribery in the world that would have convinced her.

  10. Thank goodness I have a boy. While his method of dressing seems to be to put on whatever his hand hits first in the closet, he will take fashion advice. Oh, and I'm with Jen...please let the Enrico story be real, and do tell.

  11. I remember the dress stage so well. Then we went to pants and nothing BUT pants. NOW at 9 years of age, we are back at skirts and dresses, as LONG as there are a pair of leggings to go with it. Or knee socks. That DON'T match the outfit. Punky Brewster is my daughter. Thank goodness the 80's are back in style. ;)

  12. I thought we were going to get a picture of the too small outfit.

    My son insisted on wearing a Notre Dame football jersey over his shirt one day this week. Go for it. He wanted to wear it with no shirt underneath, but mesh shirts on their own is where I draw the line.

  13. i wanna hear more about enrico.

    as much as i hate pink, alexis is rockin that hoodie. looks great with her jeans (JEANS!) and her earrings. excellent picture.

  14. I also can't believe how old she looks in that picture!

    My little Diva hasn't gone through a dress stage, but usually with any other stage she goes through she'll ditch it about 2 days after I give in and get her whatever it is she's been obsessed with for 2 weeks. Such is life with a toddler I suppose....

  15. Eh, my kid always wears pants, what do I know.

    Oh yeah. My kid is a boy. Should he start asking for dresses....his father might have a serious heart attack.

    Well, that kid is cute no matter what she wears, that is all I know!

  16. Tremendous Farley referency. I had a fat friend that dit that once and accidently ripped someone's coat. This has nothing to do with your post, but what do I know about little girls and their changing attitudes about clothes. Good luck.

  17. She is so freaking adorable in jeans and the pink sweatshirt! I guess you really never know what stage/phase is coming up next with these kiddos.

    I feel like a big failure of a parent in the clothing area because I thought I had determined my daughter was a 4T because the 3T stopped fitting around her waist for a couple weeks. So I went all the way up to the outlets and bought all these fall clothes for her in 4T. A week later (before even wearing one of these items), she had a little growth spurt or something and her waist thinned out. I'm too busy (read: lazy) to go back and exchange for 3T, so I send her in clothes too big for her with pants and shirts rolled up every day. Oh well, maybe I won't have to shop for clothes for next year.

  18. You know I'm really no help with this one, right? The whole boy thing....

    Although, both my boys went through a phase where they absolutely refused to wear shorts. Had to be long pants ALL.THE.TIME. We're in the desert.

    And since we've somehow made it through that? I'm writing it off to temporary heat stroke. Or something.

    I do love the earrings and jeans look, though!

  19. The Jeans and the earrings are a stunningly fabulous look for any young strong minded woman!
    She's adorable.

  20. Ummm, yeah. I want to hear the Enrico story also!

    Oh and don't get me started on the clothes fetish. Try having a 70lb five year old that insists that he has to have only elastic waist pants and he cannot wear sweatpants because they are too sweaty. Uggh.

  21. Anonymous3:11 PM

    LOVE the earrings! Maren thankfully only has a few weeks here and there where she insists on wearing dresses . . . which is even more awesome because someone needs to wear Cooper's hand-me-down jeans!

  22. I say go ahead and splurge on some jeans at Walmart. They'll be relatively cheap and should last through the trial period.

  23. somebody got bit by the pants bug!!

    better stock up - looks like you're in for a long ride.


  24. Anonymous1:18 AM

    I was so one of those no jeans kids. I just didn't like how jeans felt. Heavy and stiff. No thank you, leggings please. I think I grew out of it in 5th grade or so. My first pair were purple (it was the 80s) and el mom washed the beejesus out of them first. Try that.

  25. Skirts and leggings is the closest we could get to pants last winter. I bought one pair of jeans and she has already worn them twice and asked for them since and they are in the laundry. I too am hopeful, but have yet to buy more pants.