Monday, October 12

That's What I Call a Nightmare

I have long suspected that Alexis has nightmares. I figure that has to be a contributing factor as to why she is so determined to drive me insane at all hours of the night. While she may very well be conducting a top secret governmental experiment to see if you can create a dangerous weapon out of a woman just by depriving her of sleep (answer = yes), I think she truly does start out each night fully intending to do the right thing and stay in her own bed. Someday maybe her good intentions will win out and I'll actually get six hours of uninterrupted sleep. OK, maybe not, but I still hold on to a speck of hope.

I've talked to the short person many times about her bad dreams. I've heard about monsters under her bed, monsters in her bed, monsters hanging from the ceiling, and monsters in the closet. I still remember the days when I was scared of the dark (shut up), so I try to cut the kid some slack. The dark is a scary place. (Again, SHUT UP.)

Last night the kid managed to make it all the way to 5:30am in her own bed. It would have been fantastic, if not for the fact that lately she's been waking up around midnight, so I had sat up waiting for that which never happened. I do believe I heard her yell "PSYCH!" in her sleep at some point. Anyway, she came hobbling into our room at 5:00, visibly upset.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked her.

Her bottom lip quivered as she wiped away a tear, "Yes," she whispered.

I gave her a big ol' momma hug and hauled her up into the bed to cuddle for a few minutes. My alarm was close to going off, so I figured I would try to snuggle her back to sleep before it did. I'm trying to let her sleep as much as she can now, because once she is a teen I fully intend to exact revenge for all the sleep deprivation she's putting me through at the moment.

"Do you want to tell me about your bad dream?" I asked.

"I dreamed about Dora and Swiper and Swiper is really mean and he was swiping my toys and Dora was yelling at him."

No wonder the kid can't sleep through the night. If the Latina Whore and her "friend" were invading my dreams, I'd be huddled in the corner rocking back and forth.

26 comments:

  1. At least it wasn't clowns or flying monkeys coming to get her, like the ones that used to haunt my dreams. Or was that monkeys and flying clowns?

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  2. I am in full support of the teen revenge. I'll let the kids stay up late on weekends, but nobody sleeps in past 9 AM. I am the original Evil Stepmother.

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  3. When something similar happened to me, I rigged my stereo to loudly play "SWIPER NO SWIPING" on repeat in Graham's room. Would not recommend this.

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  4. Aww. Poor lil munchkin. Mean ol Swiper must be stopped. I agree about the teen age revenge. Although, in my house, I think I have the only teenagers on the planet that REFUSE to sleep in, which makes it difficult for the mama to sleep in on the weekends. They are up at 7, except on Christmas, which then they are up at 5. Love my kids...

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  5. I worry sometimes about my kid & nightmares, but Abby doesn't seem to have too much of a problem with getting up in the night. Still, times like this past weekend, when we woke up and she was unexpectedly in our bed, make me wonder. We try to get some info from her regarding if she had a bad dream while trying not to suggest the idea to her too much, as we all know how our little ones can take our questions, turn them into suggestions, and then make them reality...

    I'm all with Karen regarding the teen revenge. When I get to that point, 9AM will definitely be the cutoff for sleep on the weekends! (At least, I say that now, when my eldest is only three years old...we'll see what the future really holds when we get there.)

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  6. Does she have a nightlight?

    Does she have a radio? When my son wakes up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, I turn the radio on sleep, and he gets 59 minutes of music. Somewhere in there, he falls asleep.

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  7. @3carnations--She has a flashlight in her bed, a nightlight in the hall, a CD player she can turn on, and every imaginable soothing item at her disposal. She also has a dad that will not battle in the middle of the night and a mom who long ago decided it wasn't worth the drama. She can't possibly still end up in our bed when she's in high school, right? RIGHT?

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  8. can i come snuggle when i have a bad dream?

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  9. @hello haha narf--Only if you smother the Bully so I can't hear her snore.

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  10. Perfect world - Swiper eats Dora and chokes in the process. Diego rushes in to try and help, slips on the drool soaked floor, cracks his head and also dies.

    That right there is the TRIFECTA of parental happiness.

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  11. @James Bainbridge--THAT is EXACTLY why you need to comment more often. I'm going to have the bestest dreams tonight about Swiper choking and Diego croaking . . .

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  12. The dark is a scary place. I have not problem with night lights and cuddling. Then again, I have no problem with baby benadryl either. Muahaha!

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  13. I don't know who James Bainbridge is but I think I love him.

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  14. (snickers) You could giver her walkie-talkies so she can stay in bed and talk to you in your bed and still not be alone/scared... Might not increase the amount of sleepage, but at least you'd have more space in your bed.

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  15. ChickLitLisa2:59 PM

    Try "get rid of monster spray". I an sure there are some receipes on the web for it....something like: A bottle, some water, oil(?), GLITTER (not a lot or u will be vacuuming forever) and maybe something that smells nice. You and she spray before bed, leave it by bed so she can spray if she wakes up......might work on the night she just wakes up (no bad dream).

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  16. @ChickLitLisa--Been there, done that. It ended VERY VERY badly. What worked to end the Monster Madness was to throw a big ol' Monster Party. We danced with monsters, we made monster cupcakes, we read monster books, and we watched Monsters, Inc. Monsters are now our friends.

    Dora is a whole other story . . .

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  17. Long time no write. Miss ya TONS ... tons of tons in fact.

    Poor Alexis and bad dreams. Nightmares may last to the teenage years but mommy comfort won't last forever. It won't. I promise ... or is that a threat? Not sure.

    Be well and coffee heals all 5am waking wounds.

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  18. thats a pretty kickass toothbrush, i gotta say.

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  19. Anonymous6:01 PM

    Joy on the View called Dora...Dora the Hooker today...thought you might get a giggle someone else thinks she's a Whore

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  20. @Anonymous--HA! That might be the first time I've ever agreed with Joy Behar!

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  21. Wow, THAT is a bad dream! Can you tell us if she fills you in on any other nightmares, because I think it is completely fascinating what kids dream about. Dylan either never dreams, or can't remember them because I never hear anything.

    P.S. I was afraid of the dark. Mainly because I once almost peed in my closet because I got completely disoriented. My mom put these glow in the dark footprints on my bedroom door after that.

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  22. ChickLitLisa10:10 PM

    I used to see monsters at the end of my bed-mostly the corners...it was an eye thing...if you stare at an edge of bed in a mostly dark room long enough you will see a darkening..I still can see it if I try...but when I was 3 (?) I was scared to death!

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  23. Aww, the poor kid. I am a sucker when my little guy comes in after a bad dream, I let him climb in our bed every time. Sometimes he thinks his dreams are too scary to tell me about; he's worried *I* will get bad dreams.

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  24. Monster spray worked for us when my daughter was little. We would take the spray bottle and spray everywhere she said the monsters where. After we sprayed I would make a big deal of opening the door and telling them they needed to get out of our house. After awhile we didn't need it anymore

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  25. We are dealing with bad dreams and night wakings too. Of course, the Pumpkin was never a good sleeper, even before the bad dreams. (But I just posted today about the baby might be different! Woo hooo!)

    I guess I'm not too worried because when my brother's teenage was 2-3, she had bad dreams and was in their bed every night. She grew out of it by the time she was 4, IIRC. So I figure it's just a phase some kids go through.

    But that bad dream Alexis had? Too funny! That silly Swiper!

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