Monday, November 23

It's Unanimous

It seemed like the perfect night to start dragging out the smaller Christmas trees. We have plans for the next six evenings, so really it was my last good chance to make a dent in decorating the inside of our house. Alexis has been hounding me to let her help with absolutely anything, so I called her into the dining room.

"Do you want to help me decorate a tree?" I asked.

"Sure!" she eagerly replied.

I pondered whether I should have her help with the Winnie the Pooh tree or the Boyd's Bear tree, but the pondering only lasted a second. The Winnie the Pooh tree is pretty sparse and it's very hard to find ornaments for it. The Classic Pooh ones I like are fragile and haven't been sold for years. They are available on ebay, but they sell for way more than I'm willing to pay. The Boyd's Bear tree, on the other hand, is virtually indestructible.

I drug the tree across the room and realized that I had screwed up. I should have waited until the tree was shaped before calling the Impatient Decorator. I thought and thought, trying to find something to keep her busy for a few minutes, and then realized that it would be seriously helpful if I could get her to start sorting the ornaments. I don't know why it matters, but I like to get similar ornaments clumped together when I hang them. Alexis is completely capable of finding all the snowman and putting them in a pile.

I grabbed the box of ornaments and told Alexis to start sorting. She retorted with, "No, I want to put them on the tree." When I told her she had to wait for a minute, she pulled on her sassy pants, placed her hands on her hips, and glared at me. If I were to describe the fire that was shooting out of her eyes, I would have to say that it blazed, "YOU SUCK."

I have her The Mom Look. She responded by ordering me to dump the whole box of ornaments out. I don't know where she gets this whole bossy streak from (shoosh, I don't want to hear from the peanut gallery), but it's something we have been battling over a lot lately. After some tears were shed and the Short Person seemed to have remembered that she is not in charge, I helped her tip the box over so she could get all of the ornaments out.

It took her about two seconds to make a giant pile of plush holiday cheer. She promptly stood up and then lunged forward, apparently trying to crowd surf over the bears and penguins and snowmen. Little stuffed things flew all over the room. I rolled my eyes as I continued twisting branches to and fro, figuring that if the kid wanted to entertain herself by making a little bit of a mess, it was no big thing.

And then Cody walked into the room.

His eyes opened wide, a smile spread across his face, and he leaped towards the dozens of Havenese-sized "toys." "Nooooooooo, Cody!" I shouted.

He stopped mid-lunge, gazed up at me, and gave me a look that could best be described as, "YOU SUCK."

Funny how the kid and the dog seem to agree on so many things.


  1. I can't wait to start decorating. My Sam has the same nightgown. She's almost outgrown it. She's going to be crushed when we give it to her little cousin to wear (we're big into hand-me-downs).

  2. @James Bainbridge--Alexis really shouldn't be wearing that nightgown anymore. She can barely squeeze her big head through the neck opening. It's in pretty shabby shape, too.

  3. you really are christmas crazy! not only can the ornaments have to be separated onto their own tress with their own kind, but then they have to be further segregated after that? too funny. (i would tease something about racist here, but then folks wouldn't get it and they would lose their ever lovin minds on me. so insert your own witty joke, k?)

  4. not "can" dammit...that should say "not only do the ornaments have to be separated onto their own tress with their own kind" (see what happens when i try to make fun of you?!??!?!!)

  5. Anonymous10:20 AM

    Yes, I'd have to say you are raising a diva :)

  6. If Alexis and BB get married, they will never accomplish anything because they will just give each other the YOU SUCK look ALL DAY LONG.

    Also, please send her here to decorate. kthx.

  7. I would LOVE Alexis's help! She could help me 1. Entertain the dogs. 2. Entertain the kids. 3. Help get out alll the Christmas joy out of the boxes.
    And don't worry. Today ALL three of my kids AND my hubby were having a "YOU SUCK" gleam in their eye this morning. It was fun filled glee for me. heh. I can get away with being the MEANY head mom/wifey right now. I have an excuse. ;)

  8. We will be decorating this weekend. It is a fun time to share with family, but I am not a crazy decorations person. I think my wife aspires to be one, but hasn't gone full out decorations crazy quite yet.

  9. what a weird weird world lol!

    nice to meet cha " burgh baby"

    xoxox supah

    ur neighbor

  10. All those bears fit on one tree?! How many ornaments do you get per year? I think I am experiencing ornament envy.

  11. Now *I* want to crowd surf on all of that wonderful plush-ness. :) But I think we'll need a few more ornaments!

  12. that is a big pile of ornaments. How many trees did you say you put up?