Friday, October 12

Proud to be a Disappointment

I long ago installed a little widget to the blog that allows me to see where people are coming from and where they are located. I did it so that I could see whether our family members were still visiting or if they had decided they really don't want to hear from us ever again.

(Slight veer off topic--is it wrong that I know my father-in-law's IP address by heart, but not his phone number? Must ponder that . . . back to the topic at hand.)

I particularly like looking at the results of that widget that show me where people came from. Usually it's a direct hit (you typed the address or had it in your Favorites), but once in a while, someone gets here because they've done a search. Google points you in my direction when you're wondering whether or not you should prewash baby clothes (you really wouldn't believe the number of people that ask Mr. Google that question). Apparently it also points to if you search for, oh say, DISMEMBERED BLONDS!

Honest to goodness, someone got here by typing "dismembered blonds" into their search engine. The very fact that someone would do that is enough to make me go EWWWW, but add to it the fact that the person hung around for 3 page views and over 2 minutes and I'm officially creeped out. Really, I used those words in a post that was talking about Barbie dolls, and I'm sorry, but there were no photos. (The image is, however, still seared into my mind's eye.) If you are looking for photographs of disemboweled brunettes, disconnected redheads, or dismembered blonds, please go elsewhere. Buh-Bye, now. I SAID BUH-BYE. LEAVE. GET OUT OF HERE.

And if you by chance live in Montcon, New Brunswick (that's in Canada for you geographically challenged folks), you might want to be a little more leery of your neighbors. Because one of them is a SERIOUS FREAK. I'd look for the one that was at his/her computer at 10:20 pm last night.

(Back to that slight veer off topic . . . I think not. I have absolutely no evidence that my father-in-law knows our phone number, so why should I have his memorized? That's what cell phone phonebooks are for, baby. For that twice a year phone call that we make.)

(P.S. Hi Dad! Glad you still come by here to visit. Alexis sends you lots of hugs and kisses.)

Caution: The following image does not contain dismembered blonds. It does, however, contain much cuteness including a one-year old that will not be without Dora or Bear for even one second. Not even if food is involved.


  1. Ha! I haven't done one of these kind of posts in awhile. I get some WACKY searches as well!

    I got here because you left a comment on my blog. And you're from Pittsburgh, which is my hometown. And I'll be there TOMORROW! And so I've decided that you should be my new blog buddy.

    I won't search for dismembered blonds.

  2. You realize that now you'll get searches for disemboweled brunettes and disconnected redheads. Just sayin'

  3. I love looking at my google hits! The strangest one I ever got was "severed leg chain saw". HELLO! Talk about your average psycho, either that or someone seriously needed to be calling 911 and not doing a google search.

    Another one of my favorites that I get a lot of hits from is the variation of "my two year old is so annoying". Apparently, I must have written that a lot on my blog to rank so high in the results relevance!

  4. I learn something new every day.

    Off to find this here widget thingie and hope there are no dismembered blonds being searched for over at my place.

  5. Jenna--I caught the Burgh thing on your blog and decided I needed to delurk immediately. Thanks for coming over (and for not searching for dismembered blonds)!

    Karen--I know, I know. It occurred to me about 1.2 seconds after I clicked Publish. Oh well.

    Momish--Perhaps your "severed leg chain saw" and my dismembered blonds people are neighbors. Really, really strange neighbors. Who I'm glad don't leave anywhere near me. Also--why would someone Google anything that has to do with annoying two year olds? That's just a fact of life, not something that needs researched. Weird.

    Jayna--Sitemeter can be your friend. Or your new obsession when you realize just how many people are stalking you every day.