Monday, February 25

I Need to Go Back to Preschool

Ever since Grumpfest 2008, the Toddler has simply been a pleasure to be around. No, really. It's been enough to make me almost think that maybe, kind of, sort of, perhaps having another kid wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. (Don't get too excited there, Pappaw, my sanity is still somewhat intact and it is aware that I still haven't figured out a way to hang a crib out of the window without getting a call from the Homeowner's Association. Must. find. new. house. first.)

Anyhoo, between the giggles and cuddles and meaningful conversations like this one:

Me: Alexis, where do you put the lid to the olive jar?
Alexis: Ook unda da couch.
Me: Of course, why didn't I think of that?
Alexis: I don know. Mommy silly!

It's really been fun to hang out with her. Since she hasn't been scaring me away with her Toddler screeching, I've had ample opportunity to realize that I can learn much from her wise little brain. Examples:

1. I know I'm an idiot for never realizing it on my own, but DUDE! Eeyore is a donkey. Honest to goodness, it never occurred to me. I guess I just never thought about what kind of animal he is. Thanks, kiddo!

2. Have I ever mentioned that I live under a rock? Well, I live under a rock, and under my rock, there is no such thing as disco music. I don't know if I was born too late (is 1976 too late?), too far North (NoDaks do only listen to country, causing my ears to bleed for years and all of my checks for babysitting to go towards CDs), or if I'm just ignorant (probably). I just know that I had never actually listened to any KC & The Sunshine Band. On Saturday, I was attempting to load up an MP3 player with music for Alexis (long story, but the main points are that it was free, she's perfectly willing to listen to headphones, and I can't handle her music any more). Except, I was using a free trial from some dumb website, so it was very slim pickings. After nearly dying while perusing the kids section, I started going for oldies and was playing a sample of various songs. I got to "Shake Your Booty" and would you believe Little Miss started singing? And kept singing? And knew the entire chorus? All my life, I have thought the lyrics were "Shake your Groove Thing." Obviously, I was wrong and my two-year old knew something I didn't. I think daycare gets a little credit for this one. She learns some valuable stuff there.

3. If you mix all of the colors of Play-Doh together, the Play-Doh police will not come crashing into your house to arrest you and charge you with crimes against humanity. I'm sure you're just as shocked as I was.

4. All those characters on Dora? They HAVE NAMES! It's not "That cow thing" or "that other thing." They have honest to goodness names. Just don't ask me what they are because I wasn't really paying attention to the little presentation Alexis put on for me, complete with visual aids.

5. It's far easier to teach a Toddler to empty the dishwasher than it is to teach an adult. That's probably because she knows how to make it fun.


47 comments:

  1. what? really? I only thought that Dora nad Boots had names!!! Can't wait til Freddy tells me all about it... NOT! :-)
    And what a great idea about hanging the crib from the window! I need to run it by husband, maybe that'll help him agree for another baby! :c)

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  2. We are getting a dishwasher this weekend. Whoo-hoo! I am soooo teaching Jonathan that.

    OK and about the crib -- why not just get a little hammock and hang that from the window -- or the corner of your room or something. Or put the baby in a drawer or something, just don't close the drawer. That would be bad.

    OK. So the Dora thing...if they all have names then that means all the characters on Sesame Street do too. So, like the one thing isn't "The blue furry-Spanish speaking thing." she/he/it probably has a name. Wow. This blows my mind.....Seriously.

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  3. Wait, I know the answer to that. The Spanish speaking furry thing is named . . . ah crap. Now I don't remember.

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  4. Incidentally...can I be a suitable alternative?

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  5. Rosita! It's Rosita!

    I have the hardest time remembering her name. Seriously.

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  6. I used to know all the names of the Dora characters. Thank goodness we're past that stage now.

    I love that Alexis wants to climb into the dishwasher...just think how much easier bathing would be? ;)

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  7. Don't worry about me not being a "suitable alternative." *sniff* *sniff* I'll live. :-)

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  8. So true. Why is it they are so obsessed with the dishwasher until you assign it as a chore?

    I love the play-doh rainbow.

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  9. One their names is Tiko. I think it's the squirrel looking thing and of course, Swiper, the fox. Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping, Swiper noooo swiping! Oh, maaaan.

    I need to get a job where I work with adults.

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  10. Must I englighten you on everything? Sigh. Disco rocks. Come on Eileen!

    Dora's last name is Marquez.
    Tico is the Purple Squirrel who only speaks Spanish.
    Isa is the Green Iguana
    Benny is the Blue Bull
    The trio are those 3 bugs who come up after every completed task.
    The Big Red Chicken is a Big Red Chicken.

    That is all.

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  11. Oh no - I am SURE that the play-doh police will come. Or at least a mommy will have heart failure that the colors are mixed. That is what Ashlyn will tell you. I know it is my OCD, but I can't stand the playdoh mixed.

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  12. You have got to post a video of Little Miss singing "Shake Your Booty." After teaching her what a booty is.

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  13. And AFF needs to get a life outside Doraville.

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  14. Yeah, isn't it funny how the little ones are always so excited to "help" you clean. Then they become tweens and they are nowhere to be found.

    Love the pics! We have those same jammies!

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  15. They taught her "Shake Your Booty" at daycare? What kind of place is this "daycare" anyway?

    The presentation thing made me giggle. I am picturing her with a huge construction board visual aid, and a pointer, like "Okay, Mommy, let's go over this one more time".

    The song "Come On Eileen" makes me cringe. Hate it.

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  16. Oh yea, that means that I am older (and wiser) than you - knew you'd want to know that.

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  17. Oh, I didn't know Dora's last name until I read AFF's comment. Now I know!

    Hey, Play-Doh is always mixed together at my house.

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  18. Morgan loves to do the dishwasher. Too bad she has more fun slamming it shut and cackling with glee as I jump back so I don't lose a hand.

    :)

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  19. Yup. Eeyore is a donkey, and Kanga and Roo are kangaroos.

    As for the Dora characters...let's see...there's Dora, Diego, Bennie, Isa, Digo, and Boots, of course! There is also the troll, and...GEEZ LOUISE! I watch too much Dora.

    God bless.

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  20. Aww. She is turning into such a little person. Not so much a baby anymore, huh?
    I am the same way with play-doh. I don't know why, but it BOTHERS me.

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  21. I hope you know I was just kidding about the blogroll thing...I really was!

    Also, thank you! Rosita! Yes! THere it is!

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  22. Oh yeah, and Swiper the Fox, the one who always tries to steal stuff from them :-)

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  23. She's doing chores - that is awesome! I am trying to teach my dogs to pull their own weight around here. They're unresponsive.

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  24. um, I think you're wrong...we have very vindictive Play-doh Police in Virginia...you know, being so close to all those dang government offices and such. And mixing play-doh colors makes my butt twitch.

    And Girl, we need to get some good ol' disco funk on you! That's some good times!!!!! Alexis knows what good music sounds like!

    also, be glad that you don't have some um, misguided young peer of Alexis teaching her the words to "Low" by Flo Rida. Yep. Gavin knows about half the words, courtesy of one of the little girls in his class.

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  25. So funny! They teach us a lot don't they? I was born in '76 too and I actually googled songs from that year. Man we had some smokin' tunes!

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  26. What is it with toddlers and dish washers? I have several pics of each of my kids during that stage.

    Alexis is obviously a very big girl helper. I mean, she's got the whisk!

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  27. OK--how totally awesome is Alexis? She is so smart! Brilliant, actually.

    Oh, and I'm in that "maybe another one wouldn't be such a bad idea" mode every now and then. But, I'm only at month 6 . . . we'll soon see . . .

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  28. Okay, I despise most music from the seventies, BUT, there IS a song called "Shake Your Groove Thing" as well as "Shake Your Booty." I adapted "Shake Your Booty" for bathtime when Bubba was a baby. In our house it's "Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub your booty!"

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  29. But, damn, if I stand on the dishwasher door, it's gonna break. NO FAIR!!

    Hallie :)

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  30. Oh, Dora...I can't take it anymore....we hear "Swiper, No Swiping!" way too often!
    And what I don't understand is how the kids can enjoy it so much!
    I think I am going to put the parental lock on every cartoon channel....you will watch COPS and you will like it!

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  31. Let me just say, in the interest of ruining your fun, that the hinges on my dishwasher broke a couple of years ago. The whole thing had to be replaced. I know I'm a wet rag, but it was expensive. Well, on the flip side, I got a really nice dishwasher out of the deal. Have fun Alexis!

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  32. Thank you Madame Queen! I was sure the words to the song I was thinking of was Shake Your Groove Thing! There are indeed two songs!

    I'm so glad mine is too young for Dora. I'm enjoying the quiet from the TV while I can.

    And that blue on Alexis is striking! That is a great color for her.

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  33. Hi, Burgh!

    Alexis is one smart cookie! (she is seriously giving me a heart attack standing on the dishwasher door, though!) My son broke ours that way, just a heads up! :-)

    I can relate to your not knowing the words to a song, I thought that old song by Stevie Wonder "Isn't She Lovely?" (made from love) was "Isn't She Lovely?" (maple nuts) It makes absolutely no sense, but I swear that's what I thought he was singing!

    Lizzy

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  34. Grumpy old troll, Swiper the Fox, Dora and Boots....they're all going to send me to the funny farm!!!

    I can't agree more with the dishwasher thing. The toddler is more efficient than the father :)

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  35. I would pay BIG BUCKS for the kid to manage to break the dishwasher. It's the only appliance that we didn't replace when we remodeled the kitchen a few years ago. But then again, we are going to sell sooner or later. New owners probably could care less that the thing sounds like a jumbo jet when it is on.

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  36. Sadly, I know all the names of the Dora characters.

    This is not my proudest moment.

    My proudest moment is the fact that our Tivo decided to save my life and delete the two episodes of The Wiggles from its memory. I have no idea why it did this, but I kissed it, with tongue.

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  37. Wow - do you rent her out? I could use some dishwasher help!

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  38. that dishwasher thing? cultivate that, baby. because when she is older, she won't find it as fun, but you will find it oh-so-useful to have built-in slave labor to do things like that!!!!

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  39. The Dora characters all have names???? I just memorized all the Thomas the Tank Engine names and now I have to memorize all the Dora names too???? OH MAN!!! LOL!

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  40. I feel very fortunate that my boys never liked Dora. Of course, that left room for stupider (yes, in my world that is a word!) cartoons, but I'm thinking we're moving past that stage now as well. My oldest, being the teenager that he is, is just too cool for anything remotely animated. And the youngest...his latest obsession? Game Show Network.

    I know. He's odd. But he's all mine. :)

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  41. My kids don't know the words to any songs because Jon makes up words for every kid friendly song you can think of. So they sing the stupid words Dad comes up with.

    I'm with Karen. I need a video of her shaking her booty/groove thang.

    Evie is obsessed with the dishwasher. She thinks it's an amusement park ride. :)

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  42. *You* and *Alexis* are brilliant. Loving your blog!

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  43. So THAT's why I don't have as much fun unloading the dishwasher! I'm suppose to dance on top of it as I unload it. I'll try that next time :)

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  44. Uh, I wish I could climb on the dishwasher. So do the kids. They used to, but now they weigh too much

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  45. WOW! You little one is genius! I'm so relieved to hear that there are no playdoh police--I have dreaded that little activity since I bought the junk--I can't wait to mix it tomorrow-Sophie will be so happy.........
    Bennie is my fave on Dora--I like tiko too!

    I'm so glad your darlin' is teaching you so much--thanks for sharing!

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  46. It sounds like you two are having a lot of fun together!

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  47. Oh yeah, my daughter (almost 1) figured out all be herself how to empty the dishwasher. See, what you do is, you reach over all the boring plates and spoons and pull out the sharpest paring knife in the basket...

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