Friday, May 30

No Whine for Me

I was all set to whine and whine and whine about the middle of the night Attack of the Toddler Mouth episodes that have been going on as of late when I realized something.

It's Spring.

Almost Summer.

The temperature has been hovering mostly between the 40s and 70s, give or take a few days when Mother Nature forget to take her happy pills.

Guess who likes to keep the house windows open all through Spring and early Summer? The same people who live in a townhouse where we are ever so lucky as to have a fully attached neighbor. Who also likes to keep his windows open. Ten feet from our windows.

Huh.

I bet our neighbor is hating the middle of the night Attack of the Toddler Mouth episodes even more than I am. Last night he was ultra lucky and probably got to hear one side of a conversation that most likely sounded like this:

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I want Mommy."
"SIT DOWN."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I want milk."
"MILK."
"No. I want water."
"NO WATER."
"I want Baby Shell."
"No Baby Shell!" *throws poor doll across room with enough velocity to take out an eye or two*
"I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT . . ."
"SIT DOWN."
"GO AWAY."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I want Mommy."
"I want candy."
"I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant . . . "
"I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant . . . "

If the neighbor could have heard my side of the conversation, I'm sure it all would have made even less sense. However, I'm sure he only heard one side because between the Toddler and me, there is only one of us that hasn't learned to respect the laws of inside voices and the regulations regarding very minimal speaking at 11 o'too late in the night.

Maybe I ought to close the windows tonight. I'm sure there will be another hour-long Toddler Screamapalooza.

Of course, this is the same neighbor that decided he should hang some pictures on the wall (the wall that we share, mind you) at 11 o'too late in the night a few weeks ago. The hammering was in the smaller bedroom. Less than four feet from our sleeping Toddler. Who was awakened at 11 o'too late by the sounds of a hammer pounding on the wall right next to her.

Screw it. If I ain't sleeping, ain't nobody sleeping.

28 comments:

  1. I think that, as it's summer(ish) and we've got windows, people are going to think I'm horrible and neglectful as 7pm nears. BB or LB or BOTH are crying and screaming or whining or SOMETHING as their day ends, especially if i'm trying to take care of the other. Good times.

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  2. I really think that we seem to be in a parallel world right now. I think I have said before...at least you don't have a copy cat in addition to the Toddler Mouth! Double the Trouble.

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  3. This makes me all kinds of glad that we have two fields as buffers between us and the neighbors. Of course that just makes it all the worse when they do hear us.

    And don't even get me started on Mother Nature. We're not friends right now.

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  4. Screw the wall sharing, driveway stealing, inconsiderate SOB who happens to live next to you. He deserves a little toddler torture.

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  5. Ha ha! Revenge of the Toddler! That will hopefully teach Mr. Neighbor not to make loud noises after bedtime. :)

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  6. Haha! I always think about that in summer too. Except my worry is that people will think we are murdering our children. The boys are always running around, chasing each other, and screaming their heads off. I always wonder what the neighbors must think.
    Luckily the houses aren't too close together.

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  7. Everyone needs a little whine in the summertime ;)

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  8. Oy. We must have the same neighbor. But we live on the other side. And I will have whine with dinner thankyouvermuch.

    The Toddler is so beautiful.

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  9. The screamfest goes on between 7 and 8 pm in our house. I'm positive my neighbors here it!
    At lease people know there's not much you can do about a screaming toddler in the middle of the night, but hammering at 11 o'too late in the evening is not acceptable! Keep the windows open! ha!

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  10. I'm jealous you can have your windows open. It is already too warm for that here...upper 80s and even 90s here already.

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  11. paybacks are hell--i agree to leave the windows open. better yet--go ahead prop up a baby monitor on the sill for surround sound.

    if sophie was interrupted like that the neighbor would no longer be able to pound his hammer - no more joyrides for him! jerks

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  12. you have to be a little impressed that I can work the song in to oh so many comments. right?

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  13. They call it asserting her independence, I call it "how to annoy mommy."

    Good luck with that...;)

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  14. At least you've been spared sex sounds. Since my AC was broken, I've been listening to my neighbor getting it on while smelling his cigarettes. It seems that sex while smoking might be dangerous, no? Anyway, the AC is back on so I'm back in heaven!

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  15. This reminded me of when I lived with two friends in an apartment/townhouse in graduate school and the guys who lived next to us threw a wild, noisy party that went on until about 5am. The next day I went over and complained. Their solution: I got an invitation to their next party. HA!

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  16. gotta love revenge of the toddler.

    and it's good that you keep your threats of bodily harm sotto voce. that way you can deny EVERYTHING!

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  17. Oh yes. The windows, and the walk to the car in the morning are the main times my yelling is broadcast to the entire neighborhood...

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  18. I had huge problems with the open-window thing all throughout highschool. It was hot, but cool at night, so I'd open my window. Well, the neighbors would also open their windows, and then SCREAM at each other until 2,3,4 in the morning. As if the screaming wasn't bad enough, they were also swearing and using awful racial slurs all the time.

    I hope for your sake Alexis stops the waking up all the time, but maybe it'll make your neighbor think twice before pounding at god-awful hours of the night right next to a toddler.

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  19. If he's going to hang pictures at that time of night I would be screaming with the baby for pay back.

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  20. Oh man I would hate having neighbors live so close! Nothing makes me angrier than outside sources waking up my children. I rage...scratch that, my kids having that exact ridiculous conversation can get me pretty good too...

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  21. i waaaaant candy too!

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  22. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. A touch of peppermint schnapps in the milk is all I'm sayin' ...

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  23. Sleep is so over rated.

    And. She needs a way earlier bedtime. WHA? 10 pm. Dude. You need to put her down much earlier. ;)

    That comes from a mom of three. The more you have the earlier you put them to bed.

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  24. When we lived in our last place, I wondered all the time about what our neighbors with no kids heard...and what they thought. Now they all have kids of their own and understand. At least they better...

    I LOVE the picture!

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  25. I so worry in the summer months just how much the neighbors hear. In another lifetime I would have worried about certain sounds made by two people who love each other. Nowadays it's more like certain sounds made by a two adults, two pre-schoolers and a dog all squished together in one bed. Guess who's whining the most in this scene?

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  26. Someday when I'm brave enough (but prob not) I'll post one of our townhouse neighbor stories...we called her boyfriend "The Big Durango."

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  27. Shoot, encourage her to scream. As loud as possible. If he complains remind him she got no sleep due to his decorating skills.

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  28. (catching up...)

    wow...I had no idea that she has complete conversations (such as they are) and fits and everything else. Just figured it was some harmless wandering and requests for room in your bed. Like what I got at 3am this morning. We did a short snuggle, tried to con daddy into taking him back to his own bed, and when that failed, found some odd strength to carry my 4 year old back to his bed.
    But milk and flying dolls and hollerin'? Yikes!

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