Monday, May 5

Tinkerbell Has Stopped Talking Dirty to Me

The Toddler has this toy camera that someone who hates me very, very much bought her for Christmas. The hunk of annoying is Tinkerbell themed and says lovely things like, "Fairy Power!" and "Say Tinkerbell!" when its buttons are pushed just right. I guess it's supposed to be Tinkerbell's voice, but really it sounds like Minnie Mouse after years of steroid abuse. It's a bit phone sex voice-ish is what I'm saying. Anyway, as with all toys that have the ability to make my ears bleed immediately, the Toddler LURVES pushing those buttons. Over and over and over until my head explodes.

A few days ago, it dawned on me that the reason she LURVES that stupid camera is that she LURVES to mimic me. Hello! I am that crazy woman who has a camera permanently attached to her forehead. So, I felt all sorts of flattered for the first ten minutes that she snapped my picture while Tinkerbell invited me to do things that I can't repeat on this here in-law friendly blog. Once I was done feeling all warm and gushy and started to smell all the blood that was pouring out of my ears, I devised a genius plan. I swapped the Tinkerbell camera for a REAL! LIVE! CAMERA! (It has to be said in all caps and with exclamation points because that is how the Toddler would write it if she knew anything about punctuation.)

The kid? Ain't half bad at this camera stuff. Here is some of her work, totally unedited (mostly because I need to get to bed and don't have time to edit any photos right now).

Here is a lovely photo of her new BFF, Baby Shell. I guess she was getting a diaper change. On her face.



I suspect the kid had a bit of help with this photo, but I can't prove it. Let's not talk about the fact that I was obviously sitting right there and probably should have been paying more attention to what the kid was doing with my old camera.



With this photo, Alexis officially surpasses her father and his ability to take pictures of me. It's as if I exist in her mind or something. Amazing.



We have really nice crown moulding that me, myself, and I put up a few years ago. I'm glad I have photographic evidence of this feat I plan to never again replicate.



Hey, look! It's Meg! Or, at least it's her neck. Part of it anyway.



She captured a very rare smile on the face of the grumpy one. I suppose I could have flipped the photo the right way, but I find the sideways thing to be part of the charm. (And I'm lazy.)



This is a much more accurate representation of what Mr. Husband usually looks like.



Because my kid is brainwashed a genius, she took a picture of the "Penins skating." I totally need to get her on video saying that for future blackmail use.



Finally, a little photo of the dreaded Tinkerbell camera and one of Alexis' 4,000 dolls. This doll has not yet been named, but that's OK because it's wearing clothes. Somehow, the Toddler even managed to capture part of herself in the photo. Specifically, she was wearing that red ladybug shirt. I'm not sure how she managed the almost self-portrait, but well done, kiddo.



Looking at the world from a toddler point of view is WAY more fun than listening to Tinkerbell talk dirty.

45 comments:

  1. LMAO... my Jay has his own FLICKR account. i was just about to debut him... but yours are way more awesome pictures!

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  2. 1) The Wife and I have observed only one solid rule while purchasing toys for young nephews/nieces/cousins/child of friends: The amount of noise a toy makes is directly converse to how much we like the child's parents.

    2) During allergy season, I can totally understand the necessity for a face diaper.

    3) That's some nice crown moulding right there...

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  3. That's pretty darn impressive. The pics and th molding. Who knew?I'm jealous of your laptops too. I could be watching TV and blogging at the same time, but no...

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  4. I love blogging and watching TV! I gotta get Miss Peach a camera, life from toddler perspective is so cute:)

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  5. Clearly in that last shot she's practicing taking her own MySpace picture. Girl's got skills.

    And I love that you and Grumpy are both armed with laptops. Such the modern day married couple. Do you guys chat online? Sitting next to each other? What? Doesn't everybody?

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  7. Girl has got talent! Heck, you might be able to hire her out and make her earn her keep! Especially if she keeps adding to that doll collection.

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  8. She got the one of the "penins" (careful there :)!!) skating? That's darn good! And I, too, am liking the face diaper--what with my allergy eyes and all. And since The Toddler is obviously looking to you as her female role model and wants to do all that you do, now would be the perfect time to introduce things like dusting. Or is that wrong of me to think like that? See, if only you would have known, you could have had her help you with the crown molding! Hehehe. Awww...I'm just joking!

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  9. She's really quite good at taking pictures. Don't you just love those people who buy your kids gifts that you know are going to drive you crazy. I always pay them back by getting their kid something even more annoying.

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  10. The picture of the dog is my favorite.

    And I'd break that Tinkerbell camera and then pretend like I had no idea why it stopped working. Those high pitched kid voices make me bleed from the ears - like Elmo's voice? Dude - why can't he take that down an octave.

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  11. I'm the awful mommy that will take out batteries after bedtime and yes, I have been known to pitch a doll or two (or toy or two!) that makes constant annoying noises. :-) We've told our family that unless it is an education toy, do NOT buy us toys for our baby that will make noise!

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  12. You are genius for realizing that she only wanted to imitate mommy. And those pics are gallery-worthy for a mere 2 year old!

    I remember when I gave my kids a camera the first time they were a bit older. They wanted a pic of the dog and ended up getting only the hand that was holding her collar. Alexis is way more talented than my poor children were. Thankfully they've perfected their skills a little since then.

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  13. Hey, she shows some real talent. But what I really want to know is, what is your husband sitting on?

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  14. Dylan should really take a picture of me and my hubby sitting next to each other on the couch with our laptops. Quality time, right there, huh?

    I love to see kid's perspective in photos. I really think some gallery should have a contest and a show with the best ones. Wouldn't that be cool?
    All the kids could dress in their artsy black turtlenecks and stand around "discussing" their art.

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  15. Damn she's good!
    I love the picture of you and Meg.......I love how she's got her toys up there on the couch with her! he he he
    I can't believe how much Alexis looks like you!
    Your crown molding rocks.........I love crown molding but it's such a bitch to put up!

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  16. My kids both have one of those talking cameras and they drive me bonkers, but I'm flattered by their desire to emulate momma :-)
    I love that Alexis is mimicking you, that's wonderful!! I know that Princess wants her very own 'real' camera and I see Daddy soon giving in to her :-)

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  17. Those talking cameras and cell phones drive me crazy! I have an Ariel one, but she hasn't talked dirty to me yet!

    Kimmy

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  18. Hell she is a better photographer than I am. I love the vision she has. Very impressive.

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  19. uncle crappy cracks me up about the diaper comment. Totally agree and may think of wearing one now.

    Love the photos...poor hubby -- I'm sure he appreciates you harassing him, like mine does. But, at least you have one smiling one of him from Alexis.

    As usual I love your blog...it just cracks me up. And I'm kind of addicted to it....*sigh* I guess I need help...professional.

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  20. Wow! Those are pretty impressive. Definitely better than the ones my hubby takes too!

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  21. A collective: AWWW! But, in the one with you...what is Meg eating? Looks a bit like a joint. And, the his & hers laptops? You guys are so tech savvy.

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  22. Morgan has the Princess camera. I get to hear Snow White say "Say Cheese" and "You look wonderful!" in a voice that is a tad too screechy.

    I'm thinking I'm giving Morgan one of my cameras. Perhaps if something were to "happen" to, I'd be able to upgrade from Ms. Canon to Mr. Canon.

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  23. Most times the kids take better pictures than I do!

    There just something about butts and knees that get ya!

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  24. she IS quite wonderful... need some extra cash? hire her out... you could assist, IF she needed it... :)

    I thought tinkerbell only jingled? MAYBE this is why she never speaks...

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  25. My Lily is always snapping pictures of her animals with my camera. I should get her one of her own. Love Alexis' shot of you!

    Go Pens!

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  26. She is good! My kids always cut peoples heads off. I gave Diva a camera that she pulls out once in a while, but I lost the cord it needs for downloads. It's a crappy camera and takes horrible pictures. Her birthday is coming up in July (as she continues to remind me) and I think I'll get her a better one for her birthday.

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  27. The girl's gifted fer sure. And nice crown moulding. Can you come over and give me some pointers? Maybe finish spackling my dining room wall?

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  28. Wow - very impressive photos! Great job!

    You know what's funny is that for the longest time, my kids only knew how to take photos with (digital) cameras that you hold out arm length, using the viewer screen to capture your shot. They got totally thrown off when my husband bought his Nikon camera, where you have to actually put the camera up to your face and look through the lens with your one eye! So funny to watch them trying to get used to taking photos that way!

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  29. Super fabulous narrative of toddler's photography skills!

    My 4 year old can now take better pics of me than anyone. But mostly he takes pics of the computer screen (like we need a momento of where we've surfed??), the floor, or chairs. I guess that is what is important to him????

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  30. My naughty little blond boys love to take my camera on a journey through the house. On my laziest or busiest days they will build a gigantic castle out of stuffed animals and sheets and beg me to come see it. Instead I say here you go why don't you take some pictures instead! Works every time!

    Thank God for digital photo's that can be deleted!

    Cute pictures!

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  31. She's go future in photography--she does way better than me (and I have one of those fancy D cameras ;) )

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  32. you TOTALLY can get her some work with that portfolio!

    such a talent. it's a shame to keep it all to yourself.

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  33. This is really cute! maybe I'll let my daughter run around with our old camera...

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  34. Some of those are absolutely funny.
    I'm glad I warn everyone on what they can and can't buy the kids. And if they do buy something I can't stand or will annoy me to no end, I just throw in the trash.
    And that picture of you is absolutely amazing.. maybe she should get into the photography business.. some of the other pictures show it too :P

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  35. Wow! She is totally better then my mother-in-law. She has some serious talent. I love the pictures she took.

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  36. Little Man has the Cars camera. For some reason, it makes VRRRRRRROOOOOOOM noises at you. However, it does not say creepy things, so I'm ok with it.

    Considering Little Man points the lens of the Cars camera away from the subject and holds it against his eye, I'm not sure a real camera would work for him. But I'll have to figure out where my old one is, where the software went and give it a shot, because I want to be just like you and Little Man must be just like Alexis. Minus the Dora outfit.

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  37. Real cameras for children are DEFINITELY! THE! WAY! TO! GO!

    (Sorry, I couldn't help myself with that punctuation.)

    Laptops, another device invented during my lifetime. I look like that with one on my lap.

    Hey, what is wrong with sideway photographs? **confused ;-) **

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  38. That is just fantastic--those pictures are amazing! Way to go Alexis, you little photographer you. I love the picture of you on your laptop!

    Alex wont fall for the fake stuff. When I realized how much he loved my (cheapo) cell phone, I bought him a fake one. He wont even touch it. But he will still climb on top of me to get to the real one!

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  39. OMG! I just finished a post of my kid's camera's pics too. They take the best ones don't they? (note the sarcasm...)

    I love the one of you with your laptop - that's usually what I look like to!

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  40. YEAH Mommy pictures! my hubby couldn't be bothered~
    GREAT job giving her a real camera!--now maybe hubby can take tinkerbell to learn a few things--then you might not hate it;)
    oh, but the toddler point of view is way more fun--lasts a lot longer too.

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  41. You are a parenting genius. Brilliant.

    Jon always tries to talk to my like Tinkerbell. Maybe if I give HIM a new toy...

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  42. looks a lot like our home life...each of us with computers on our laps and Gavin taking random (but suprisingly good) pics with my old camera.

    and dude, what's up with the gigantic blanket in your pic? did you attempt to recreate the climate on the ice and lower your thermostat enough to support ice-life?

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  43. I'm really impressed with her picture-taking abilities! She's a protege!!!

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