Tuesday, June 24

Caution: A Rare Glimpse into the Mind of the Male Species

A few nights ago, Mr. Husband was sitting with Alexis at her art table coloring with her. (I know, swoon. Men should spend more time coloring with their kids. It's hot!) (I love that I know Mr. Husband just blushed reading that.) Her latest "thing" with coloring is that she will tell YOU what to color while she supervises. (I have no idea why we have a bossy kid. Now shut up and stop asking silly questions.) She requested a picture of Mommy and Daddy, so away he went, sketching and coloring and shading and drawing a picture of Mommy and Daddy. Between strokes with the dull, fat crayons, he would glance up at me to make sure he was drawing me just right. And he would cackle. In no way did I at all expect that he might be up to no good with that cackling because, you know, I'm not smart enough to figure THAT out.

Mr. Cackles eventually finished his beautious piece of artwork. It's title:



Because OF COURSE you should make it a battle of the sexes when your kid asks you to draw her Mommy and Daddy. I mean, how could it possibly be appropriate to draw Mommy and Daddy holding hands and singing Kumbaya in a field of pretty little flowers?

You know what IS appropriate? Drawing Mommy with devil horns. OH, YES HE DID.



MY TEETH ARE NOT THAT AWFUL. Gawd. But, um, I do tell Alexis it's time to go to bed. A lot. Apparently, that makes me the devil. And I bet you can guess who is the angel. Yup.



Nice halo, Buckeroo. I might have to use it to (*&*$^ the (*&#%^ out of (*^*&% and ^#@#%^$. Yes, I will.

So the next time I'm getting dirty looks or snide remarks from people because Alexis is awake waaaaaay past her bedtime (seriously--why do people always think it's the Mom's fault?), I am going to refer the judgmental goofus to this lovely post. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Gah.



BTW, Mr. Husband, I'm glad you think your pretty little picture is so.dang.hysterical because I think it proves my point. You are SO wrapped around that kid's little finger and she knows it.

"Do whatever you want, Sweetie!" BLRGPHAZIZZLE.

55 comments:

  1. Oh, yeah. He's sunk. At least he's got some mad art skills.

    And look at her . . . "Yeah, I'm the boss. What of it???"

    So, when do you put crayon to paper? I'd like to see how you draw daddy :)

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  2. Heh--I did once draw him standing next to a dog house that said "Daddy" above the door. I guess we're almost even.

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  3. I am point blank positive that is how my kids see me.
    Too funny!

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  4. That is a brave, brave man.

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  5. This is so funny! I was honestly laughing at your baby's drawing.

    She has a great sense of humor! :D I dunno how my son sees me yet but a probably am like the devil too. lol

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  6. Our spouses came from the same mold, God help us both.

    This put a smile on my face that will last a week!

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  7. Wonder if he'll still feel like telling her to "do whatever she wants" when she's 16, and has the hots for some guy with a rainbow colored mohawk, wearing leather and riding a motorcycle, who's somewhere in the vicinity of 21?

    Yep. Who'll be sporting the horns then? :)

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  8. I don't think they would actually admit it, but I'm pretty sure Isaac and Gracie would give me the horns too. Jon is the jungle gym parent therefore he gets the halo and wings.

    Isn't that just craptastic.

    I think that is my new favorite Alexis picture...

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  9. Your husband may have drawn himself to look like an angel, but I think he made himslef look like a slightly efeminate, BRITISH angel!

    Hallie

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  10. So funny. I love the innocent picture at the bottom.

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  11. I think you should do your own drawing and put it on the fridge for when he comes home.

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  12. I can see that halo strangling him at some point...

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  13. My husband is also from the "whatever you want" school of parenting (unless "whatever" intereferes with the game or something).

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  14. Holy crap, that's hilarious!

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  15. ha! That is awesome!

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  16. ImpostorMom8:27 AM

    So sad for Mr.Husband that he went from coloring with Alexis = swoon = probably gettin' some to drawing devil horns on Mommy = certainly not gettin' any, for a while. Why will they never learn? :P

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  17. That picture of Alexis speaks volumes.

    I think I'd be using his own masterpiece against him. Why is it always your job to put the kid to bed?

    He is a pretty good artist for crayon sketches. Love all the highlights in your hair.

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  18. Did he offer her some fries with that?

    And what's with his sideburns? Is he secretly related to Elvis?

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  19. Yep, he just provided all the proof we need. I hate to say it, but Alexis looks a lot like THAT GIRL in that picture. Is she still shunning the kids at daycare?

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  20. This is really funny. I was totally nodding with you about how sexy he was...and then saw what he drew...

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  21. I told my DH today that he also sucked as a DOGGIE PARENT. LOL Our little Gracie dog whines.. he rewards her by picking her up. Caving.. just like he does for our children. LOL

    Love the artwork.

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  22. LOL! Just remember some day she's going to be 16 and rule Mr. Husband with an iron fist...at least she'll have slept well while growing up! ;)

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  23. I'm thinking he's back in the doghouse for a while again, eh?
    He did a nice job on your highlights, though. And I noticed that you didn't deny that you have a tail...that will be interesting to see when we finally meet. Do you normally tuck it into your clothes or just walk around with it out, hitting people as you pass them? >=)

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  24. That man is a keeper for sure. Awesome art skills!

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  25. Those pics are hysterical...and I love the photo of her!

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  26. It's time to kill him.

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  27. Haha, love the photo of Alexis!

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  28. So ... I noticed he seems to have drawn some bags under his eyes. Perhaps those are due to the sleep deprivation that results from failure to tell the child to go to bed. Sure, you may have gnarly teeth and devil horns, but at least you weren't drawn with bags under the eyes.

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  29. Oh no he didn't!!! Is he alive to tell the tail... I mean tale?

    Way to teach them about conflict in relationships at such an early age, Mr. Husband! Haha.

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  30. So did you make him sleep on the couch?

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  31. A new avatar, perhaps?

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  32. I'm confused. Did he draw himself wearing LIPSTICK?

    Because if so, you no longer have any right to criticize my marriage.

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  33. And then they wonder out loud what went wrong when they are out of control......just remember, "Do whatever you want sweetie." Can't wait to hear that when she is sneaking out in Daddy's car!

    Hubby is the same way...he is their "friend" he says!

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  34. lol! Bravo.

    That's too funny!

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  35. anglophilefootballfanatic.com1:28 PM

    Oh, Daddy Dear. You have gotten yourself into a muddle. You should know the only things you draw involving mommy & daddy are suggestive words. Shame on you. You are gonna get another lifetime chore out of this.

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  36. It's amazing how silly men can be at times, does he REALLY think you're not going to find a way to get even?

    Poor naive soul.

    Looking at that picture though, I can see why she's got him where she wants him. So so sweet.

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  37. I'm not sure what exactly you plan to do with that halo, but I think it was sexual.

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  38. Love the sass pose! Does Mr Husband know he can get in trouble for that kind of stuff?...gotta be in the right mood to find it funny :>

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  39. That picture just proves she is the boss!

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  40. Ahaha! That is absolutely hilarious. She really does have him wrapped around her finger. Look at those arms crossed...she KNOWS she's boss!

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  41. Yep I think I would have to keep the bottom part of that picture and show it to him everytime she wants to do something that he doesn't want her to do. :)

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  42. Hmm. Looks to me like you're in serious need of dental work.

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  43. That poor poor man, he is so in for it ain't he!

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  44. My husband, in the act of being a sweet daddy, is also so hot! Don't you just love that?

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  45. oh no he di'iht! Well, what did she have to say about his little art project??
    the pic is priceless once again!

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  46. Before I read, I scanned...looked the pics over. After reading, I'm just glad Alexis didn't draw those! That would be quite an imagination for a wee toddler!

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  47. That is fantastic. Dad's are SUCH WUSSIES when it comes to their little girls. It's partly adorable, and partly disgusting ;) hehe

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  48. He's a feisty Mr. Husband, now isn't he?

    She does have him wrapped around her pinky and at least he can admit it!

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  49. I hope you're saving that picture! The picture at the end says it all! And to think she's only two...what comes next? That picture will be biting Mr Husband in the butt very very soon!

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  50. To be fair, I think he's at a disadvantage. He's a man, for goodness sakes. And Alexis, though small, possesses the wily tool all women can pride themselves on: manipulation. Plus she's so darn cute. How could any representative of the male species resist? Especially her dad.

    You know how I know? Because we have exactly the same thing goin on at my house. Except I have two: a 2-year old diva (who is probably just as bossy as yours) and an 8-year old princess. Told you, dads have no hope ;-)

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  51. Hilarious!! My hubs is the one that colors with the girls too. It really is swoon worthy!

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  52. That is hysterical!

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  53. OMG, that is HI-larious!!!!

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  54. I agree that it is hawt when men spend time with their kids. Makes our hearts melt and we get all gooshy and stuff. ;-)

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