Monday, December 8

Guess What!

Alexis has learned her first punchline. She doesn't know the joke, just the punchline.

Chicken butt.

She missed the part where someone is supposed to say, "Guess what?" before she starts discusses poultry derrieres. She just randomly says, "Chicken butt."

What does Alexis want for dinner? Chicken butt.

What does she think we should get Daddy for Christmas? Chicken butt.

What game should we play? Chicken butt.

As charming and hilarious as that all may seem, the never-ending mentions of chicken butt and subsequent cackles started to get on my nerves around the 4,000th repetition. So, yesterday I figured I would tackle the annoyingness head-on, instead of ignoring it like I had previously strategized.

I suggested that Alexis start leading a double life between home and school early, so as to be an overachiever who knows to change clothes in the Kindergarten bathroom, but with a little, "But don't think I don't know about it" twist. I said, "Alexis, chicken butt is only funny at school." After all, surely it was a punk-ass little boy in the preschool class that taught it to her. I don't have to KNOW to KNOW, you know?

She tried to argue my point initially, but my stone-faced insistence that "Chicken butt is only funny at school" eventually sunk into her little head. Not one to give up easily, she started asking questions.

"Momma, is chicken pee funny?"

"Is chicken face funny?"

"Is chicken poop funny?"

"Is chicken boobies funny?"

I may go to hell for lying and telling her "No."

37 comments:

  1. OK, Miss Peach actually has a joke.
    "Why did the banana have to go to the doctors office?"
    "When the ice creamed, the banana split!"
    I don't get it....she thinks it is the funniest thing ever. I've heard it 9,000 times:P

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  2. Oh, and chicken boobies are funny;)

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  3. Wait 'til she starts saying a priest, a rabbi and a minister walked into a bar...

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  4. It is a good thing you are writing all this down now because when she's a smartbutt teenager you will have SO MUCH blackmail fodder! ROFL!! Chicken boobs... HA HA HA!!

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  5. I will probably use chicken boobies at some point tomorrow.

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  6. You are a model of restraint if you didn't fall on the floor laughing when she asked about chicken boobies! HA!

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  7. I'll trade ya some chicken butts for some interrupting cow...

    (If I never hear the interrupting cow knock-knock joke again I might have a chance of dying a happy woman.)

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  8. Chicken boobies, chicken boobie, chicken boobies!

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  9. Get a chicken butt (seriously, they're called "pupik"s in yiddish) and cook it for her supper one night. Then ask her if it's funny. Trust me, when she sees it and think shse has to eat it, she may try to find a different line of joking.

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  10. I still DONT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT BUY THAT COSTUME. And chicken boobies ARE funny!

    Hallie

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  11. Sadly, my kids still don't have a really decent punchline. Baby Girl (at 22 months!) ends what she thinks is a joke with a cymbal sound and a "nailed it!" At least that part is funny...

    Off subject, I heard a rumor that Dr. Phil is having the creepy life-like doll people on tomorrow (Wed). Check out the babyonbored blogspot for a little trailer.

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  12. BWahahaha that is one funny lil girl!

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  13. Her teachers must LOVE you.

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  14. Chicken boobies?! Hahahaha! I hope she discovers on her own how hilarious that is and uses it anyway.

    Alexis never ceases to crack me up.

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  15. I feel your pain (and if you're going to hell, I bet I beat you there.) What is it about chickens, anyway? Goat #1 discovered the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke pretty early on but for him, the punchline was always whatever nonsense he felt like saying next and it was NOT. FUNNY. (also usually involved poop in some way, because you know -- BOYS.) Anyway one day I'd had enough and I said we weren't going to play CandyLand anymore if he didn't stop with the chicken-crossing-road jokes. So what did he do? Waited about 3 whole minutes and then said "Why did the trashcan cross the road?" (And since I'd made up the stupid no-chicken-road joke rule I couldn't just say "stop it" so instead I said "Why?") And the answer to that one was actually funny: "Because the chicken was in there." Of course, since I laughed, I got to hear that joke for the next 11,337 days....

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  17. OH! You're awesome!

    Violet's favorite "joke" is an unfinished, unfunny knock-knock joke - complete with requisite cackles and a demand that I laugh as well. It's making me craaaaazy.

    But funny only at school? BRILLIANT.

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  18. Oh yeah, you're going down baby for telling her chicken boobies isn't funny cause damn - it's flat hilarious!

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  19. Maybe it is just me, but I think the Chicken Butt is funnier with out the Guess What. hehehe

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  20. My kids are all about the "Chicken butt" joke right now...

    Guess why, chicken thigh?
    Guess who, chicken poo?
    Guess where, chicken hair?

    Yeah, our house, is a regular Night at the Improv...

    You're jealous, I can tell.

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  21. "chicken boobies" is TOTALLY funny.

    and my kids and eternal sunshine's apparently were separated at birth.

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  22. I'll spend the day contemplating chicken boobies.

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  23. Oh, come on, Chicken boobies ia funny coming from a toddler. BTW we all lie to the kids at some point, I think we are forgiven for it. heh!

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  24. Ah, yes. Chicken boobies. Definitely funny!

    Maybe you can teach her a new joke to replace the chicken butt one? Nick's fave:

    "How do you get a tissue to dance? Put a little boogie in it!" (She just *may* like the fact that this joke includes booger references.)

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  25. Nope, you were right and logically it doesn't make any sense, but Chicken Butt is funnier than all the other chicken choices!

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  26. Chicken Boobies!!!!

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  27. Chicken butt might only be funny at day care, but chicken boobies? Funny everywhere.

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  28. CHICKEN BOOBIES - LOL!!!! That's better than my 4 YO's jokes lately. They don't even make sense. "Mommy, why does the light have a monkey on the door?" Why? "Because the TV is on her shoe!" Wha???? And it goes on and on and on....

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  29. Aw, man. I was going to do say:
    -Do you know why? Chicken thigh!

    But eternal sunshine beat me to it!

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  30. Chicken Boobies is funny the first 3,999 times.

    I take that back. Chicken Boobies is funny no matter how many times you say it.

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  31. Bwhahahahaha!!!!!!!! Gotta love Alexis!

    (I'm just glad I don't have to live with her through this stage!)

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  32. Ok Alexis, Chicken Boobies is funny. Super funny!

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  33. Chickens have boobies???

    Look at that big girl...

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  34. LOL - "Guess what?" "Chicken butt" has been a part of our family vernacular since Macaulay Culkin hosted SNL in 1991 and used that phrase repeatedly during one of the skits.

    Sometimes I'm known to groan and say, "It's never chicken butt!"

    :-D

    Peace - D

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  35. Chicken boobies are DEFINITELY funny. And you may be going to hell, but for different reasons.

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  36. Chickens are no laughing matter at our house. We are still mourning Tiny, the littlest chicken my ILs had...that stupid bird would let the Howler carry her everywhere, it would sing with her, and when we were there, if the Howler said, "Tiny, you wait right here. I have to go pee." that stupid bird would sit there, for upwards of 20 minutes, waiting for the oh-so easily distracted Howler to return. And if she didn't? Stupid bird would go LOOK for her.

    There's nothing worse than a 5 year old crying at Christmas because her chicken died (of natural causes.)

    The moral? Take the chicken boobies, laugh, and be glad your ILs do not have chickens.

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  37. In hindsight I think I prefered this phase of humor to some that came when they were older.

    The "bodily noises" stage for example when the word fart would make them roll around laughing. Then there were the farting competitions - loudest, funniest sounding, smelliest. It was lethal if they did this in their bedrooms with door closed!

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