Monday, August 17

Dear Mr. Google, Knock it Off. Or Else.

Dear Mr. Google,

So. I happen to have your ads on my site. Now, we both know that isn't because I'm looking for monetary gain. If I were to depend on y'all as a source of income, I'd die of starvation within seconds. The literal pennies that I earn from having those things over there aren't even enough to buy a pack of gum once per month.

It's not about the money.

Rather, it's about the entertainment value.

You see, that whole context sensitive thing? Makes really hysterical things happen. Like, if I write about dogs with foot fetishes, I'll get ads that in someone's approximation have something to do with dogs with foot fetishes. I happen to enjoy watching the ads change depending on what I've written. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's helpful (I found some fantabulous sites for swingsets when I wrote about them--too bad I decided we should buy a playhouse instead of the slide and swing), sometimes they are just plain dumb.

This one was none of the above.



Oh, I'm sorry. Can you not see the problem? Does this help?



An ad for baby caskets. Right next to my baby. With the words "Buy now!"

Not cool, Google. Not cool.

Now, I found the words that triggered that horrible, awful ad. When I wrote about the stairs of death and mentioned my kid in the same paragraph, your context sensitive joogly woogly stuff got all busy matching words together and decided it made sense to toss up an ad for baby caskets.

It is absolutely, positively NEVER OK to put an ad for child caskets on a mommy blogger site.

NEVER.

If I were in the market for such a thing? THIS is not where I'd go looking for it. If I had ever had the absolute horror of having to buy one in the past? I'd be REALLY pissed to find a reminder on THIS site. Seeing that ad was like a swift kick in the gut, and my kid is happy and healthy.

Thank goodness.

Now, I've blocked that ad. If you cross the line from funny and/or helpful over to TERRIBLY WRONG and bad taste again? I'm deleting your widget. Instantly.

You can keep the pennies and go buy yourself a pack of gum.

Thanks,

The Woman Who Has Been Pissed about that Damn Ad for Days Now

P.S.
Company who paid for that ad--Really? REALLY? You are spending money to have a Google ad? Does that seriously make sense to you? Look, all you need to do is have a website. Unfortunately, there is a need for that which you do, and people will find you when they need you. Don't go wasting money on ads. It's stupid. And offensive. Oh, and the use of the exclamation marks and happy tone? Makes me want to puke on your face.

KTHXBAI

26 comments:

  1. Wait, what did you say? Because judging by your dog an eyeball casket may be in order.

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  2. I know. If her eye gooberishness doesn't clear up soon, I'm going to start crying. $40/month for eye drops does not make me happy.

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  3. SERIOUSLY?! Having had to pick out a casket for a baby, I can say with 100% certainty that a place that runs an ad on Google is the last place I would go. And, because I am a total freak, I went to the website to look . . . I found it even more disturbing than the dolls you were searching on eBay! It seriously looks like the website for a used automotive sales company. And the reviews! I don't believe for one second that actualy people wrote those reviews! Oy. Now I am flaming mad. And don't even get me started on how that ad appeared on a Mommy-blog next to a picture of your healthy, happy daughter! Google? Have some tact.

    (And I was actually considering putting Google ads on my blog, but am now seriously reconsidering.)

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  4. That is an awesome dog ya got there! $40 p/mth for eyedrops?! Yikes.

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  5. Oh. My. Gosh. I don't know what's more shocking. That Google would allow that particular ad to go on a mom blog or that you can buy caskets online. Frick. Who knew?

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  6. Dude. That's messed up!

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  7. WTF - that's crazy. Sic Meg on them. You know - if she could actually get up. Or see them.

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  8. @Fishsticks--Google ads really, truly are only good for the entertainment value. I'd be shocked if I made 25 cents in a month from them. They are sometimes funny, though.

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  9. Wow. Honestly I have never paid attention except for the ads in my gmail.. Those can be funny. But also creepy.. As if they are snooping into my private conversations. I never have really looked at the ads on my site. Thanks for the Whistle Blowing. As Alexis likes to say "I don't fink so."

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  10. I am all kinds of disturbed right now. The exclamation point is what pushed me over the edge...

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  11. Sometimes I wonder if the company actually writes the ad or if Google just has things that "pop up" like the ads themselves (as in the "Buy Now!" part). Then again, after reading Fishsticks review about their site, I'm guessing they wrote it themselves.

    On a completely different note, that may be one of my favorite pictures of Alexis and Meg EVER! Too cute!

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  12. @The Mommy-After Fishsticks comment, I went to the site to check it out a little bit. They act like they are selling used cars. For real. The FAQ section would be absolutely hysterical (lots of hype and scare tactics) if it weren't about freakin' caskets and people's loved ones.

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  13. Man, I love your dog. $40 eye drops and all.

    That ad is disgusting. It's not like someone is just going to buy a casket on a whim. Like you said, if they need it (God forbid) they'll find it. Disgusting and stupid.

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  14. i ignore all ads on blogs. it appears to be a talent that i developed. like a super power. thanfully i missed the baby caskets ad. blech.

    meg looks so unhappy, but i can't get over how grown up alexis looks in that photo. she is such a girl and not a baby. when the hell did that happen?

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  15. or, ya know, "thankfully" instead of thanfully.
    sheesh.

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  16. Meg is givin' 'em the evil eye, isn't she?

    That ad is RIDICULOUS. And totally not needed. Ugh. Sorry you had to see it on your site and have it bother you...

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  17. My stomach literally flopped when I read that. Just wrong.

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  18. Sic Meg on 'em. She looks pretty pissed too.

    Seriously, whoever's in charge of marketing at the company needs to go.

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  19. I just can't comment on baby caskets, though I will now be checking the ads on my own site for them 65 bajillion times a day.

    But I've been away too long. Oh, how I've missed you (you've got a GREAT way of writing that's upbeat and fun) and you certainly helped to make a crap-tastic afternoon at work tolerable.

    Your fireplace is AWESOME!

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  20. I'd be freaked out about that too! That's insane.

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  21. *Jaw drops*

    *Crickets chirp*

    Minutes pass and I'm STILL speechless.

    And WHO, in a tragedy with a need for something like THAT says 'Hey, I saw a Google ad in a blog for one...Let's order it...'

    See, I'm so upset I can't even spell out what IT is.

    Your PS is perfect.

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  22. That is absolutely awful! I agree....just really in bad taste for those advertisers, if you ask me. Why so happy about it? Horrible!

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  23. I mean, them...being so happy. Argh....didn't finish that thought well.

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  24. How bizarre. I cancelled my Google ads because the ads for Flea control got old really fast.

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  25. Baby casket? Seriously? Now that is just plain WRONG on so many levels.

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