Signs of Trickery

For an entire week I have had a little comment from another mom at gymnastics classes under my skin. It's been sitting there fermenting, perplexing me, leaving me wondering. It wasn't anything mean, in fact, it was sort of a compliment. It was, in many ways, a compliment of the highest order, but it seemed like such a lie. SURELY, it couldn't be true.

The mom had told me, "It's so amazing how well Alexis listens."

I am certainly Alexis' biggest fan, but I'm not blind to the fact that she's two and certainly not the best-behaved two-year old who ever lived. I don't drug her nearly enough to achieve that level. As for listening skills? I'd probably give her a C+. Some days she's really good about doing what I ask, other days she acts like I am a moron from the plant Snurp.

Tonight as Alexis was wandering away from the group during gymnastics, I suddenly figured out how it was that we had so totally fooled that mom. I should have realized it sooner, but I guess it's just second nature. As Alexis started wandering and acting a fool, instead of yelling or going over to her, I signed, "Come play here, please."

And she did.

Because she always follows signed requests. I don't know why, but she doesn't think you can argue with sign language.

I wish I had realized this sooner; there is a whole world of fun I can have with a kid who knows 300+ signs and will take all of them as Fact.

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Just in case you haven't been around for eons, we started teaching Alexis sign language when she was about six months old. We used DVDs from Signing Time and watch the videos with her so that we can learn the signs as she learns them. I entirely credit them for her starting to talk really early, as the reason that her vocabulary is still pretty advanced for her age, and the reason she's already starting to read a tiny bit. Right now we're all about Baby Signing Time #4, which is good because now she'll know the signs for "clean." You better believe I plan to make good use of that.

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I'm also over here tonight with my thank you to PittGirl.

Slapping Some Cuteness on These Walls

(Signing "I love you.")

("Thanks" to Anglophile Football Fanatic for the Boots tattoo. The kid thinks she's a badass now.)

I'm Feeling Contest-ic!

I am SHOCKED at how many of you commented on yesterday's video of Alexis singing, especially the number of you that commented that you had NO IDEA what she was saying. Really? You don't all speak fluent Toddler? I'm sort of sad for you. After all, toddlers say all the best stuff.

Anyhoo, I'm taking a little pity on your confused souls. The video shows her singing two different songs. The first one is "In a House." Here are the real lyrics:

In a house in a home there are
mothers and fathers
sisters and brothers
And there’s me me me

In a house in a home there are
sons and daughters
grandmothers grandfathers
And there’s me me me

I have a family full of people who love me
People who love me
They take care of me
And I know my family is unlike any other
Your family’s made for you
And mine is made for me

In a house in a home there are
aunties and uncles
cousins and cousins
And there’s me me me

In a house in a home there are
nieces nephews
and family and friends
And then there’s me me me

I have a family full of people who love me
People who love me
They take care of me
And I know my family is unlike any other

Your family’s made for you
And mine is made for me

My puppy is nicer to me than my sister
My goldfish is quiet my kittens are cleaner
I think there’s a good chance that she’ll be my best friend someday
Let’s wait and see see see

In a house in a home there are
mothers and fathers
sisters and brothers
And there’s me me me
And then there’s me me me

Now let me whip out my Official Translator Crown that Kent State bestowed upon me back when I graduated college. Sure, the crown says Official Spanish Translator (in fun little jewels, I might add), but that doesn't mean I can't translate a little Toddlerese from time-to-time. Alexis is singing:

In a house in a home
there's sons and daughters
mothers and fathers
And there's me me me.

In a house, in a home
there's sisters and brothers,
sisters and brothers
and there's me me me

In a family there's people that love me
people that love me
they take care of me

In a house in a home
there's sons and there's daughters
there's brothers and sisters
And there's me, me, me.

Then she goes into a whole bunch of repeating the same lines intermixed with some Toddlerese that I haven't learned yet. Somewhere in there she throws in a "there's grandmas and grandfathers," but mostly she just keeps repeating the same couple of lines about brothers and sisters. She might be trying to send some sort of subliminal message. I'm not sure since I have my hands over my ears and am screaming "LA, LA, LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

After that she goes into her current favorite song, "Feelings." The gist of the song goes:

What are you feeling
What are you feeling
Don’t keep it bottled up inside
Try try try
Try to tell me what’s inside –side –side
Don’t keep it bottled up inside
Try try try
And tell me what’s inside

Do you feel EXCITED
(Weeeee)
Do you feel EXCITED
I’m so EXCITED

And it repeats over and over, mentioning a new kind of thing that you can feel in each stanza.

Here's the thing: I count six distinct feelings/emotions in the video. Six. If you think you can figure out what they are, there's a little something in it for you. While I'm not telling you what the prize is right now, I will say the value will be around $25, so we're not talking crappy peanuts you would get at a Pirates game, but rather some kind of decent peanuts that you might find while watching the Yankees.

In the comments, list the six 'feelings' that Alexis sings about in the video. If more than one person correctly ascertains the answer then I'll do a random drawing of those who got it correct. You can enter as many times as you like and the deadline is next Friday, April 4th at midnight. I, as the judge, declare my list of six the "correct" answer, so don't even think about trying to argue with me if your list ends up not matching mine. Deal?

OK, go!



Updated to add: Since so many whiners are blaming their computers for their inability to translate Toddlerese, I'm adding a second prize to the game. First prize has to get all six feelings. Second prize will be random from all comments, even if you don't take a stab at deciphering the lyrics.

In No Way Proving My Point

Fine.

She does sing better than me.

Whatever.

At least I know how to say 'love' correctly. "Peepo who nuv me." Heh.

(If you are using a Reader, there is a video here.)


(I could be nice and tell you what she's singing, but that seems like it would require a little bit of effort. Anybody who has listened to Signing Time 'In a House' and 'Feelings' 18,000 times will know both songs right away.)

The One in Which We Discover Who IS the Boss

I have made no big secret of what Alexis is getting for Christmas. In fact, if she hasn't figured it out by now, she's just not paying attention. Not only have I shopped right in front of her, I have wrapped all of her gifts with her full assistance. All of her gifts except the Signing Time videos, that is. I'm no fool, I knew if she saw them that there would be no waiting until Christmas.

(While we're on the subject, I should probably admit that they arrived on a day when I came home from lunch. It took every ounce of energy I had to go back to work and not spend the afternoon lounging on the couch watching her videos. Do you know the last time I watched the TV without 18 million other things going on? Me thinks it's been a long time.)

So I kept the videos discreetly stashed in nearly plain view and finally brought them out to wrap them yesterday. I would have wrapped them when Alexis was nowhere to be found, but since she doesn't seem to have a life of her own, I decided to do it while she happily played in her kitchen. I don't know what caught her attention, but of course she came running just as I had a DVD in my hands. She stole it. Then she proceeded to proclaim, "Signing Time!" Then she started to make out with the box. She was hugging and kissing Rachel as if it had been months since they had seen one another. They really ought to get a room.

I figured at that point I was screwed and would be opening the DVD for her to watch it. But she didn't ask me to. Nope. Instead, she started looking for Daddy and saying, "Daddy, help watch Signing Time." Except he was outside and out of hearing range. Wouldn't you know it, she never did ask me. I was able to wrangle the box out of her hand, wrap it, and carry on with my business.

Apparently somebody has figured out that I don't condone TV watching. But she knows who does. Sucker.

Better Than I Expected

As Alexis and I try to adjust to this strange new journey where I am home with her ALL DAY, I am finding that we are not quite on the same page when it comes to how things will be.

First example, I am of the opinion that we will be waking up at something that resembles a decent hour of the day. If you were to ask Alexis her opinion on this topic, she would most certainly say, "Awake by 6:00, please!" I'm willing to compromise on this one. I won't expect her to stay in bed until 10:00 (which would totally ROCK), but only if she will just expect that I WILL be in bed until 7:00. Seems to me I'm doing the most compromising there, so I don't fully understand what the problem is.

I suppose part of the problem might be that she came out of her package programmed to wake up around 6:00. She has always done it, no matter what time she goes to bed or what activities I force her into in hopes of extending sleeping time. There has been exactly one day when she waited until 8:30 to wake up (a day in which I probably checked on her 400 times in one hour thinking she must have died in her sleep), and then there was the beautiful thing that was our Disney vacation. I think Disney does things to your kids to make them easier to deal with, like drugging them so that they sleep late. She achieved greatness all through our fun family vacation, but morphed back into her early bird self upon our return. Boo.

Our second point of contention involves the activities in which she will participate as the day goes by. She says all Signing Time, all day long. I say no Signing Time, don't even bother to ask. Frankly, I don't think she needs to be sitting in front of a television any more than she does on the weekends hanging out with Daddy. It hasn't escaped my attention that she has started to sing the songs from the DVDs all. the. time. I have heard her singing/humming "Oh, oh, look at my hands, they're dirty" at least 572 times in the past few days. As much as I'm sure she would really like to learn the rest of the words so that she doesn't have to hum parts of it, I'd really like her to try doing a little coloring, playing in the yard, building with Lego's, setting dogs on fire, whatever. Anything that does not involve a TV.

Despite these little disagreements, I know that we are going to be able to make this situation work. I started to think that a little bit after she stole my Kit Kat and tried to give me back the empty package. I told her to go throw the paper in the trash because if you are going to steal my food, then you should at least get rid of the evidence. Guess what--she did! Well, OK, so she put it in the recyclables bin, but that was probably because the trash bin was, as always, full. After that, I started cleaning the living room and sent her to the trash with all sorts of items. She may have a future as a waste engineer, because she did a fabulous job.

After the living room, we moved to the kitchen where she was quite literally helpful by handing me clean things out of the dishwasher so that I could put them away. Then I put her in charge of putting the dirty, disgusting silverware in the dishwasher (mostly because I CAN'T STAND THAT CRAP). And would you know, she actually did a better job than Daddy. She put all the sharp parts of the forks and knives downward, and I do believe I have nagged Daddy about that at least 1,056,982 times (to no avail). Why anyone would prefer to get stabbed every time they reach into the dishwasher, I don't know.

What I do know is that I officially believe that having a kid is WAY more fun than a having a helper monkey, even if the kid does have a habit of rolling her eyes at me for no apparent reason.

It's Not You, It's Her

Lately I've had a few comments from friends, on the blog, and via email saying something to the effect of "Alexis talks so much more than my son/daughter!" I want to make sure one thing is absolutely clear: It's Alexis that is abnormal, not your child. If you need a little reassuring (or just want to know what is "normal"), try this site or this site.

According to all the charts I've seen and our Pediatrician, Alexis currently fits in with the average 24 to 30 month-old when it comes to speech (she's 20 months). She knows a few hundred words, uses names, and frequently puts together two to four word sentences. A stranger would probably understand her 70% of the time.

Because I know you're curious, I attribute her weirdness to three things:

1. Sign Language. We started teaching her sign language at 6 months. Mostly we taught her by watching Signing Time with her. There have been studies that have shown that teaching signs encourages communication, but I don't need the studies to know that it clearly had an impact in our house. For one thing, the fact that we are teaching her to sign means that I am forever asking her "What's that?" or "How do you sign (word)?" That's actually how I manage to make it through a store with her. I distract her into telling me the name of everything that she sees. I wouldn't have thought to do that if it weren't for the focus on words that learning sign language encourages. The other benefit we've seen from signing is that it helps us to understand words that sound like gibberish. For example, she probably said 'cracker' twenty times before she first signed it, but I didn't understand her. Once she added the sign, I could ask her if she was saying cracker, and she could confirm. Repeating the word back to her lets me confirm that I understood and gives her a chance to hear it pronounced correctly. It only takes a few times for her enunciation to improve. Then I don't need the sign to understand her anymore.

2. She's bossy. Really bossy. The girl fully intends to control the universe when she grows up. She already tells other kids what to do and has been known to lead them around the playground, telling them when to sit or slide or stop. Wanting to be able to tell other people what to do is a pretty good incentive when it comes learning to speak.

3. She arrived in this world programmed to talk early, just like she came programmed to get teeth early (teeth at four months made breastfeeding GREAT fun, let me tell you), crawl late, hate baby food, and walk late. To loosely quote a line from a Signing Time song, Alexis will do what Alexis will do when Alexis is ready to do it.

My favorite thing that she's been saying lately is "Hi, I'm Crackers!" (She got it from the Intro to Signing Time which starts with "Hi, I'm Rachel.") If you are what you eat, then she needs to modify it to "Hi, I'm Crackers and Waffle!" And if I were to introduce myself the same way, it would be "Hi, I'm chocolate!" What about you?

Someone is Counting His Lucky Stars Right Now

Every night Alexis ends her day by sitting with me up in her room reading stories. Sometimes she reads, sometimes I read, sometimes we end up playing and no one reads, we just go with it. Just a few minutes ago, we were sitting in her chair together having just finishing a book. She looked up at me, grinned, and said:

"Sh@t"

Plain as day. She said a word that has never fallen out of my mouth (oh my, that's a funny, funny joke). I looked at her, she looked at me.

"Sh@t"

At that point, I muttered, "I am going to kill your father." I don't think he would bother to deny that he has been known to let loose some words that may not be appropriate for the Dora crowd.

"Sh@t"

On the third repeat, I began preparing my weapons. I started up the Nagometer, grabbed a few heavy objects, and set my laser-beam eyes to kill. Just as I was about to summons the soon to be Dead Daddy, Little Miss Cuss tugged at her shirt. Hmmm. A familiar bit of symbolism. I thought for a moment, then said, "Shirt?"

"Yes! Sh@t!"

Sign Language just saved Daddy's life.

Random

1. Recently I have taken to wandering the streets of a certain part of the Burgh that is chock full of college students. I find them fascinating, what with their young and oblivious ways. Take, for example, the lovely blokes who are currently camped out protesting the Iraq war. At first I thought it was all very cute. I personally never went through a phase where I thought going on a hunger strike would change the world, but I think it's just adorable that these four kids do. I imagine that they have pictured the results of their hunger strike as follows:

W is sitting in his big, white house talking to one of his drones and asks to see the live camera action from all over the US. (What? You don't think he watches us on super-top secret video cameras? Whatever, let's pretend that he does.) He pans down on Oakland, PA and spies four bewildered college students and reads (Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretend he reads, too. It's needed for the story I'm trying to tell.) on one of their signs that they are on day 11 of their hunger strike. He looks to his advisers then proclaims, "By golly, those kids are right! End the war now!"

Somehow I don't think that's how the story will end, but good for them for trying to make a difference. I do have one request for them while we're at it: just because you're not eating doesn't mean you shouldn't bathe. I'll think you're even more adorable if I can't smell you from down the block. Thanks!

2. I have a bye week in Fantasy Football this week. Try to hide your disappointment.

3. Alexis has FINALLY added the word "down" to her vocabulary. I taught her to say "up" in about 1.2 seconds a few months ago. The problem was that she decided that "up" is used for any change in position. So she was saying "up" to get up, and "up" to get down. That was all fine and dandy for a few days, but then it started to irk me that she can say "Everybody Awake!" (thanks a lot, Rachel), but not down. So I started trying to teach it to her. I'll be damned if she couldn't figure it out. Finally, within the past few days, she has started to say "down." Anytime "up" doesn't get her the immediate response she was looking for, that is. Up Down. Up Down. Up Down. In rapid succession. That's 90% of what comes out of her mouth these days. I do good work, don't I?

4. If you think I'm done being salty about this Starbucks thing, you are WRONG. Fall is ruined, RUINED I tell you, because of that 11 cent price hike. (What's that Starbucks? You didn't think I remembered how much a Grande Nonfat with Whip Pumpkin Spice Latte cost last year? Oh, but I do remember. $3.96) I know 11 cents probably doesn't sound like much, but that little price hike adds up fast. Really fast. You see, we donate all of our change to Alexis' piggy bank. She has accumulated quite the chunk of change that way. So last year she got 4 cents every time I bought my latte. This year, if I were to buy one (which I won't), she would be getting 93 cents. So really, that latte would cost me a whole extra dollar. Times five days in a week=$5. Times a whole lot of times that I would drink one=way more money that I'm willing to add to my coffee budget. Grr.

Did I mention that I'm just going to buy my Nonfat Caramel Macchiato every day to make the Pumpkin Spice Latte pain go away? It costs $3.75 to melt away the hurt. Perhaps I should go on a coffee fast and see if Starbucks will lower their prices. Or perhaps I should just shut up and show you a cute picture of Alexis sitting on a giant turtle statue at the Zoo. We'll go with that.

Finding Joy in the Pain of Others

1. Picture the scene . . . I'm walking out the front door on my way to the car. I glance over and see this neighbor in his front yard with his hose. He has one white knee sock pulled all the way up; the other hovers just above his laced black shoe. His Richard Simmons shorts cover just enough skin so that I'm not blinded, but his worn until thin t-shirt makes evident that he is turning into a hunchback. He's turning knobs both high and low trying to turn on the water. For some reason, the hose refuses to yield said water. He turns more knobs. He slowly draws the hose nozzle to his face and peers inside the tiny little holes. He turns another knob. Water sprays all over his face. I speed to the car, mouth covered, and close the door so that he cannot hear my laughter. I fight the urge to jump back out of the car, run over to him, and laugh in his face. But I really, really wanted to. I deserve a cookie, no?

2. Daycare has reported that Alexis now feels the need to ask "Who's that?" each and every time she sees a person. I can tell you that she already knows every one's name; I've heard her say many of their names. The fact that there was a tiny bit of annoyance seeping through the teacher's voice as this was reported leads me to believe that somebody needs to grow some thicker skin. I think I find enjoyment in somebody being so easily annoyed. Actually, I know I do.

3. Last night Alexis was watching Signing Time while Daddy cleaned the upstairs bathroom (Yes, women, my husband cleans bathrooms. Stay away from him--he's mine.) It got to be time to switch to the Steelers game. Listening to them yell at each other "It's Signing Time" "It's Steelers Time" "Signing Time" "Steelers Time" "Signing Time" "Steelers Time", well, that's just plain good fun.

Hot and Random

1. Despite the fact that I heard Demetrius tell me, the thermometer in my car told me, and the fact that I could FEEL it for myself, Alexis proceeded to tell me that it's hot about 4,000 times today. Thanks, kiddo!

2. The tiny aquarium has it's overpriced fish now. Actually, it has two overpriced fish. We really need some sort of mental help.

3. I had the most bizarre lunch experience of all time today. It was one of those things where you had to be there to fully understand just how weird the whole thing was, but I will say that I've never seen so many people quit and get fired in such rapid successsion in my life. The manager dude locked the place when it was down to just him then proceeded to call the owner to say that he quit, too. We still sat around and ate our food.

4. Alexis just got yelled at by Daddy for getting into things. She proceeded to toddle over to me, in tears, pointing at Daddy and saying "Bad Daddy". She is so definately the smartest kid of all time.

5. Here's another old video that demonstrates just exactly why Alexis gets whatever she wants. Whenever she wants it. BTW, she's trying to sign it as she says it, but didn't have the manual dexterity at the time. She's pretty close these days.

Random is Fun!

1. I have graduated to Mummy status. It's not quite Mommy, but I've still decided to start allowing olives again. I am the nicest Mummy of all time, I know.

2. When I put Alexis to bed, she's all "I would like to go to sleep now, please." When Daddy tries to put her to bed, it's "Well the $#%^ do you think you're doing? Hold me! Where's Mommy? I HATE YOU! Where's Mommy?" I had a work event this evening, and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces from the calamity that is Alexis + Daddy alone at bedtime.

3. A certain little narcissitic one-year old was looking at pictures and videos of herself on the computer earlier today and came across this oldie. There are about ten more animals in that book (whose pages she didn't land on that day) and she knows the sign for every single one. I'm not proud or anything.

Please When You Want It

Alexis has really mastered this whole sign language thing. Our daycare, unfortunately, doesn't have any ASL certified teachers. So day in and day out, Alexis tells them all kinds of useful information and they completely miss it. Some teachers make it a point to ask me to try to interpret because they really want to understand, but it wasn't until recently that we really made any headway. And it was all because I demand a little manners around here.

About a month ago, I started to require Alexis to say "please" and "thank you." She can be as bossy and mean as she wants to be, just as long as she's polite at the same time. So I taught all the teachers at daycare "please" and "thank you" and told them to start some enforcement. They obliged, and while they were at it, they taught ALL the kids to sign "please" and "thank you". So now they have 20 toddlers that have more manners than most adults. This afternoon, when I picked up Alexis, about six of them showed me "thank you" all together. And Daddy says I can't make everybody do things my way.

I'm pretty sure the baby sleep police would have a heart attack over this, but Alexis sleeps with stuffed animals every night. There are three that live in her crib. As of late, glow-bear has been the star of the show.

If You're Grumpy and You Know It

We have a new game. It's a woooonderful game full of excitement and valuable prizes! I say a word, Alexis signs it, I say another word, Alexis signs it. For like half an hour solid. OK, so maybe it's a little boring. BUT the best part is the prize. Alexis gets distracted from whatever was annoying her at the moment and I get to rack my brains for words she might know until I am in physical pain. Oh, did I mention that she gets distracted so I get to stay sane? I'll take a little pain for the sake of sanity any day.

Anyway, we were playing this game in the car the other day. Alexis was PO'd that we were in said car. She forgot she was PO'd long enough to play along. Daddy was observing from his perch in the driver's seat.

Mommy: "How about grapes?"
Alexis signs grapes.

Mommy: "How about cheese?"
Alexis signs cheese.

Mommy: "Can you sign grumpy?"
Alexis signs grumpy.

Mommy: "Do you know happy?"
Alexis signs grumpy.

Mommy (to Daddy): "I blame you for that."

She's a Wheel Watcher

Who needs Signing Time when we have Wheel of Fortune?

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I don't know about everyone else, but I had a great day:

1. There was very little traffic this morning.
2. I got a free lunch.
3. During that free lunch, I saw a Furry walking around Downtown Pittsburgh. In fact, I saw this Furry:

Awesome.
4. I learned that the Furries are coming back to Pittsburgh again next year for the big convention. I didn't get to go hunting this year, but you better believe I'm marking my calendar for the next time around. How about the fact that it was around 90 degrees all weekend and yet the group wants to keep coming back to Pittsburgh? Man, if I were wearing a big hot fur suit (which I never, ever, ever would), I would want to be in Alaska or something. Not in Pittsburgh in July.
5. Alexis was in a great mood when I picked her up from school.
6. Alexis' teacher commented that she was talking way more today than she was before vacation.
7. At some point, Alexis learned to recognize the grocery store. She started signing "car" in the parking lot. Usually that means she wants to briefly touch down in one of the car carts. This time it meant "Although I know the fun carts are more difficult for you to maneuver, I would love to hang out in one as you casually peruse all that the grocery store has to offer." We were there over 30 minutes and Alexis didn't fuss one time. Not even when I accidentally rammed the cart into a pole or when I nearly ran over an old lady when I was trying to turn a corner.
8. Alexis stayed in a good mood all evening.
9. She told me all the animal names and signs that she knows again.
10. When I was showing her pictures on the computer (she's a narcissist and loves looking at herself) she knew who Grandpa was when we looked at this picture. She signed and said Grandpa.

11. The blog is finally posting to the url I have been trying to use for WEEKS. GoDaddy support sucks, but a creative and diligent Mommy will always prevail.
12. There were no arguments from the Kinnley Bear regarding bedtime.
13. The slide of wonders continues to provide hours of entertainment and enjoyment. Now the fun even includes Bear.

If Only Daddy and I had been so Productive

I think I mentioned that Alexis watched entirely too much Signing Time during vacation. Not only did she watch it in the car throughout both seven hour drives, but she was able to fix the TV at Grandma's so that it would show her buddy Rachel. Now that we're back, I've cut her off cold turkey. There's just no reason for a 17-month old to watch hours and hours of TV.

But one side effect of all that Signing Time has become evident . . . Alexis clearly learned a whole bunch of new signs. I'm choosing to focus on her newfound vocabulary and ignore the part where she probably killed a few brain cells staring at the TV all the time.

Some of her new words became obvious earlier today when she made it all the way through her book "In the Jungle" and was able to sign every single animal. I just turned the pages and she pointed and signed what was on the page. We had lion (that one comes complete with the "Roooaar"), zebra, monkey, spider, crocodile, gorilla, butterfly, elephant, giraffe (I'm taking her word for it on giraffe and elephant, I don't actually know the signs myself), fish, tiger, rhino, snake (which, of course, comes with a "Ssssss"), bat, hippo, bird, leopard (Rachel hasn't taught us that word yet, so Alexis went for "kitty"), and frog.

She surprised the heck out of me, but I would be a lot more impressed if she would figure out that she should sign and say "potty" BEFORE she goes in her diaper. She loves the word "potty" and I would love if she would figure out how to use it.

It Must be Magic

Alexis has managed to do something that I have been trying to do for probably 10 years. She did it in just a few days.

Whenever we visit at Grandma's house, I have issues with the TV. For some reason, the TV in this house is broken and usually only displays really bad shows on the History Channel or pointless sporting events. Now we all know I love me some Steelers, but I see no reason to watch arena football, European League football, eighteen hours of pregame shows leading up to a preseason game, etc.

In the past I've tried asking nicely, I've tried joking, I've tried whining, and really it doesn't seem to matter. The TV stays stuck on the Torture Channel. But somehow, someway, Alexis has gained control of the remote and has it set to all Signing Time all the time. The really baffling thing is that she doesn't even have to be in the room--she maintains control over the TV from miles away. I actually witnessed six adults watching Signing Time when Alexis and I had been in a totally different room of the house for 20 minutes. Let's just hope Alexis continues to use her magical TV controlling powers for good and doesn't start working for the bad side. If Barney or the Wiggles were to suddenly pop up on the screen, I might have to start walking back home.

Here's Alexis playing in the Cage 'O Fun. You may notice that she can make Signing Time appear on that TV as well.

Rachel is the Greatest of all Time

After the 6 1/2 hour drive from Pittsburgh to Indianapolis, I have to tell you that I really, really, really love Signing Time and Rachel.

Alexis owns a portable DVD player. She had forgotten that she owned one since she hadn't seen it since Christmas, but it made it's grand comeback just in time for the drive. Without that DVD player, I bet we would have had a hell of a time getting to Indy. With that DVD player, we were able to watch every episode of Signing Time that Alexis owns over and over and over and over. And Alexis was thrilled with that arrangement. I don't know if there are some sort of subliminal messages in those videos that brainwash little kids, but frankly I don't care. My eardrums are intact, no one was harmed in the making of the trip, and Alexis truly didn't mind being cooped up for so long.

Now if anybody knows where I can find something to brainwash the dogs into sitting still during the drive, please let me know. Otherwise, we might be finding out just how far I can throw a 50-pound bulldog.

Oh the Jealousy

Brian and Melanie--Alexis is officially really, really, really jealous of you. Her favoritest person in the whole wide world (aside from me, of course), was just in Abilene. Alexis will not be happy that she missed a chance to meet Rachel from Signing Time.